Butkuiss
Someone on Reddit claims they called Jeremy Ferwerda to ask about the state of the site
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Last Active 09-25-21 12:42 pm
Joined 09-19-10

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06.19.25 Bachelor Pad Boogie: Second Bedroom04.26.25 Bachelor Pad Boogie
02.21.25 JAZZKUISS VI: 21st CENTURY SCHIZOID JAM 02.02.25 HARDKUISS: DAY FIVE - PUSH POWER šŸ‹ļø
12.18.24 JAZZKUISS V: COLD FUSION12.11.24 HARDKUISS: DAY FOUR - PULL HYPER šŸ’ŖšŸ
12.04.24 JAZZKUISS IV: ON STRANGER VIBES11.29.24 The Sole Funk Brother, Pt. 1
11.11.24 JAZZKUISS III: The end of the beginning 11.06.24 HARDKUISS: DAY THREE - LEGS POWER 🦵š
10.17.24 JAZZKUISS: PART DEUX 10.13.24 HARDKUISS: DAY TWO - PUSH HYPER šŸ’ŖšŸ
10.02.24 JAZZKUISS: PART ONE 09.27.24 HARDKUISS: DAY ONE - POWER PULL
09.14.24 Fourteen Years of Sputnik08.10.24 On the bintangs
06.27.24 Artists I’ve Slept With05.26.24 My Wife Left Me
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My Wife Left Me

Full details below. Currently in shock — not sure how I feel quite yet.
1Madonna
Madonna


So in Australia, we call what the rest of you know as a duvet/comforter/quilt a ā€œdoonaā€. This is essential information for this story.
2Madonna
Confessions on a Dancefloor


My wife went to school for both interior design and architecture. She didn’t graduate from either degree, and works in a completely different field, but still considers them hobbies, and takes it upon herself to micromanage all the aesthetic elements of our house.
3Madonna
Ray of Light


Whenever I have questioned my lack of input into our living space’s design in the past, she has said it’s not fair for me to have input, since she ā€œactually caresā€ about design whereas I ā€œdon’t know what I’m talking aboutā€ (her words). I’ve let it go up until now, because she’s right that I really don’t care that much what colour the cushions are, but it’s always rubbed me the wrong way on principle.
4Madonna
Erotica


The other week I was on Redbubble and saw a duvet cover with a life-sized image of a young Madonna on it. Short hair era, scantily clad, seductive look in her eye. Cackling with glee, I decided to order a king sized version just for the glorious pun opportunity.
5Madonna
True Blue


I put it on the bed and waited for the wife to come home. Perhaps somewhat understandably, she flipped her shit over the salacious image of Madonna adorning our bed, demanding to know where the expensive linen charcoal duvet cover went. I asked her one question: ā€œDon’t you like Ma-doona?ā€
6Madonna
Like a Prayer


She wasn’t having it. The next day I went to work and when I came home the Madoona was gone. The wife was yucking it up, gloating that she’d gotten rid of ā€œthat hideous thingā€ and I’d never find it again. Honestly, the sheer vindictiveness with which she threw it out made me kinda mad. I thought it was a pretty harmless pun. Who was she to bin something I liked?
7Madonna
Like a Virgin


I tried to have a conversation about how I felt like my opinions on interior design were being ignored. I’d never insisted on any furniture or decor before, couldn’t she just let me have this? She just brushed me off, saying I had horrible taste and didn’t know how to decorate. Devolved into argument from there.
8Madonna
Bedtime Stories


When she left for work the next day (I was wfh) I decided to figure out where the Madoona went. It was fucking $120 too — I don’t want to waste that amount of money. Luckily it wasn’t that hard to find; she’d just tossed it in the neighbour’s bin. Neighbour saw me rooting around in our outdoor bin and waved me over, holding the Madoona up, asking if that was what I was looking for. They thought the whole ordeal was pretty funny tbh.
9Madonna
Music


Still though, I knew I had to be sneaky if I wanted to win this one. I couldn’t just put it back on the bed while she was at work — it would just end up in the trash again. Instead, I waited til we went to bed and my wife was fast asleep. We often accidentally wrench the covers off one another at night, so she didn’t wake up when I pulled the doona off her and took it into the next room to put the Madoona cover back over the duvet.
10Madonna
American Life


The next morning she woke me up yelling at me, calling me an asshole, dickhead, fuckwit. Turns out I forgot to wash the Madoona after pulling it out of the neighbours trash, and the whole room stunk of shit and piss (neighbour has a baby, presume the bin was full of nappies). I’ve got anosmia, so I didn’t actually notice (lol). Conversation ended with her calling me disgusting and saying she’s going to stay at her mother’s — but at least the Madoona is back in its rightful place (and washed). Don’t know if the marriage will survive this one though.
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