MisogynysticTryhard: Life really sucks

sneakers 05.26.23	damn, sorry to hear all this. One thing I noticed you said is that you had no family, but then later said you're staying with a family member. Maybe you feel like you have no one to help you out, but it sounds like you do and just knowing that and contemplating it kind of could help.
PotsyTater 05.26.23	May I ask what types of anti depressants you’ve taken and how long you were on each?
JayEnder 05.26.23	"Went through a bad long term breakup" -MysoginisticTryhard. Yup, usually how that mindset begins. Nah all jokes aside I've been there hard man, and all I can say is try to work on quitting those fucking pills. SSRI's are dangerous business, and now that I've been cutting down on them and thankfully almost completely free of head meds I gotta say I feel better than ever, more human and I feel proper emotions again. Those damn pills can turn you into a mindless, soulless drone. To hell with doctors who prescribe people that shit, and to hell with Big Pharma. It's worth suffering through the withdrawals to get off that stuff, I promise.
pizzamachine 05.26.23	Never give up. Life can turn around quick.
evilford 05.26.23	I had a bad run in 2014. Lasted about a half a decade as well. Got fired over some bullshit, couldn't get a job, was unemployed for almost 2 years, bad breakup etc etc. I tried to end my life. Obviously failed, and I couldn't be more glad now that I did. Got a good job, got a house with a buddy, kids are doing awesome and im killing it at life. No relationship tho cuz fuck that My point is, SHIT GETS BETTER. Its really hard to see that when you hit rock bottom, but trust me, you just have to find what works for you and find ways to prop up your self-worth. Theres nothing wrong with leaning on family, especially if you live in a post-apocalyptic capitalist hellscape (america). There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Try exploring some hobbies and seeing if there's a scene around you for that hobby that you could use to connect to people. But from one person who hit literal rock bottom to another, believe me, shit gets better. You ever need to talk or anything at all just s/b me
sneakers 05.26.23	"all I can say is work on quitting those fucking pills. SSRI's are dangerous business, and now that I've been cutting down on them and thankfully almost completely free of head meds I gotta say I feel better than ever, more human and I feel proper emotions again. Those damn pills will turn you into a mindless, soulless drone. To hell with doctors who prescribe people that shit, and to hell with Big Pharma." This is seriously dangerous advice. It doesn't work like this for everyone and could potentially backfire for someone else in a spectacular way.
evilford 05.26.23	Big pharma is an evil business and i have a potent hatred for the pharmaceutical and Healthcare "businesses" in the US, but psychiatry and my psychiatrist in particular quite literally saved my life. So ill have to give a hard disagree to what Jay said. There definitely are many well-documented cases of psych meds doing the opposite of what they're supposed to do. But there are cases where it literally brings people back to life, my case included. It's all about finding what works for YOU.
twlight 05.26.23	im sorry to hear this. life is very painful for most people are you using substances or alcohol? becuase that doesnt make anything easier sounds like the meds the docs are prescribing you arent working, so maybe stop im not a doctor but ive tried them and they didnt work for me either try going for long walks and changing your diet. what are you eating? stop eating fried food and shit fast food. what ever money you can get, use to buy decent food and try cooking your own meals. im talking veggies, lean meats, fish, cherry juice, hummus diet is EXTEMELY important. what you are is what you eat is true look at getting some roommates. not friends, but someone who needs a similar balance as you and can help with the bills. get a roof over your head and decent food in your belly. work a shit job until you find a better one.
ToSmokMuzyki 05.26.23	sneakers the pill pusher
evilford 05.26.23	Like I get that it's cool to hate on psychiatry and "pills that turn you into a mindless drone" or whatever but yeah im with sneakers, if meds don't work for you thats fine but id step as far away from talking someone out of taking their meds as possible, personally
JayEnder 05.26.23	I realize that a lot of people need the medication and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if he says the antidepressants aren't working for him its a reasonable idea to slowly ween yourself off them. It could backfire in a spectacular way if you quit cold turkey absolutely, but in my experience cutting them down and taking a little bit less over the course of about a year, little by little every month I went from 15 mg of Lexapro to almost nothing now, and my life seems to be looking up more than ever. Being on the pills ruined my life, but if you need them then hey I'm not judging one bit. My whole family is on meds for anxiety and depression. ford's advice is a lot more useful I must say lol. Didn't mean to turn this into a rant about meds but I really wanted to get it off my chest.
Get Low 05.26.23	I've found for me personally that having a stable job full time job that I could tolerate (you don't have to love it, you don't even have like it) was literally all that I needed to improve my life significantly. My advice would be to take a look at the root causes for why you're getting fired from (or quitting) your jobs, and try to tackle those issues.
sneakers 05.26.23	@Jay all good bro
PotsyTater 05.26.23	I have sympathy for people who have been over prescribed incompatible anti depressants as it has happened to me and it was absolute hell and nearly cost me my life but that is the fault bad doctors not bad drugs. So while I understand where jayender is coming from, your meds should not make you feel “inhuman” and unable to properly feel emotions. This is the result of being overprescribed or remaining on a drug that you are not compatible with. The problem with ssri’s is that the only way to test for compatibility is to basically try things out and see how they go, which naturally requires a lot of direct feedback from the patient and a certain amount of trial and error. Bad Doctors don’t educate their patients on this when they prescribe antidepressants, or don’t listen to their feedback. When ssri’s are properly prescribed they should have minimal and tolerable side effects and should be pared down to the point that just help give you a “boost” in handling your symptoms of depression or anxiety while you incorporate other coping mechanisms into your lifestyle so that after some time you will be able to manage your illness without the help from the ssri’s. But instead, to put it bluntly, shitty doctors will overprescribe you shit that fucks you up and makes you dependant without educating you or taking the time to make adjustments which sours peoples perspective of the drugs when they should be feeling sour at their doctor for failing them. When ssri’s are prescribed properly and ethically they have an incredible success rate, and most times when they fail it is due to improper prescription and miseducation. Tl;dr properly prescribed meds, when combined with therapy, lifestyle adjustments, and other coping mechanisms can be extremely helpful, but you kind of have to have a hand in your own recovery and not just leave it up to your doctor. I’m just saying don’t necessarily give up on all of these things. Your doctor has failed you, not your resources. You need to be assertive with these people and take things into your own hands a bit.
twlight 05.26.23	evilford i agree, we are not doctors here but he did say the antidepressants arent working for him, ive had the same scenario but OP the last thing you should do is stop them cold turkey, that is not recommended EVER. ween off them. docs these days are a fucking joke, you go into a room for ten minutes and they prescribe you some shit that can have serious implications on your life. they dont fucking care
twlight 05.26.23	well said Pots, unfortunately i have only experienced the shitty docs you speak about here in the states... i try food, exercise and sleep schedule it helps but im still depressed. what gives which is silly because my life is great, depression is real therapy and understanding possible past life trauma is important too
ToSmokMuzyki 05.26.23	whats the ratio of prescribed properly to not properly
evilford 05.26.23	Your personal experience with doctors and psychiatrists is not the baseline experience for everyone. I would not advise anyone to do anything with psychoactive substances that they have been prescribed by a medical professio al without that medical professional first giving that instruction. Few people in here with dangerous advice. Changing meds or dosages without psychiatric eval first can definitely backfire and I know people who have done this and then attempted suicide. Definitely not something I would advise someone to do in any good conscience.
JayEnder 05.26.23	Yeah Pots is right, all about finding the RIGHT doctor/therapist. Unfortunately I found the wrong doc and medication so I've been a bit sour towards the whole ordeal (clearly lol) But this is just my personal experience, there are a lot of amazing doctors and therapists out there who can change your life for the better.
twlight 05.26.23	good question smok.... outside looking in, it seems most people are not prescribed properly... seems SPECIFIC antidepressants work for SPECIFIC minds and CERTIAN times
twlight 05.26.23	your right EF, if you are on an antidepressant please dont take SputnikMusics take on what you should do... dude is asking for advice and i understand this is sensitive
twlight 05.26.23	"amazing doctors" sorry but that is an oxymoron in 2023
evilford 05.26.23	I understand, appreciate and empathize with negative psychiatry/therapy stories because prior to attempting suicide, I thought it was all that existed. But I am here today, talking to you, no joke because my psychiatrist saved my life. Lots of different experiences have been had and I understand that, I just dont want someone to do something reckless with their meds and have something bad happen. It's happened to me and a couple friends.
PotsyTater 05.26.23	When I first sought medication I didn’t have a family doctor in my province so I had to go to a random walk in clinic. He just threw me on a high dose of some shit and sent me on my way. I won’t get into it cuz it’s a long story but it fucked me up incredibly. Fortunately, I have a close friend who is a doctor who offered me some guidance and educated me on how these drugs are supposed to work and he told me that if I have any intolerable side effects that I should go back to my doctor and try something else and that this might take a few attempts. Shortly after I got a family doctor who is an absolute gem and genuinely cares about me and he echoed the sentiment and became very involved in finding the right drug for me. I got off the drug that fucked me up and we tried a couple other options and changed them out as soon as I had any side effects that I couldn’t tolerate on a day to day basis. We eventually settled on one that I had virtually no side effects from whatsoever and that I felt quite normal on but just with a little extra help. Then he coached me into counselling and using certain apps etc and helped me make meaningful lifestyle changes etc and once I felt confident that I no longer needed the “bandaid” from the drugs to manage my MDD and GAD he put me on a plan to ween off of them entirely. I have been successfully off of them ever since. So I can say with confidence that antidepressants nearly cost me my life and also saved it, and the difference between the two was literally just proper education and a good doctor.
PotsyTater 05.26.23	@evilford I did not suggest changing doses or prescriptions without a doctor or psychiatrists advice not once even a little bit If that was directed at me
twlight 05.26.23	"genuinely cares about me" this is important Pots... I am glad to hear you eventually had a good experience, but im sure you know how rare this is? thanks for sharing
PotsyTater 05.26.23	“ whats the ratio of prescribed properly to not properly” I don’t remember the statistics regarding success rate of ssri’s and what portion of the failure rate is due to “improper prescription” but overall the effectiveness of ssri’s is high enough among common procedures and treatments in the medical community to have it considered somewhat “miraculous” and so it is a shame that practitioner incompetence gives them a bad reputation
evilford 05.26.23	Not directed at u pots
PotsyTater 05.26.23	@twlight of course, I am lucky and grateful, but I don’t discount that the first portion of this process was me basically going to the walk in doctor and telling him I didn’t like the ones I was on and asking to try new things and every sequential drug had less adverse reactions on me and got me closer to the right one for me. So before I found my family doctor it was just me fighting against the medical system to find something that worked, and then once I found my doctor it was the medical system working together with me. I’m just saying if you don’t have options you need to be assertive but I hope everyone finds a good doctor eventually.
twlight 05.26.23	thanks man, i think that is a very import point. i know i have HIGH anxienty... like i can physically feel it daily i try diet, sleep, excercise... etc but i feel a constant fucking heaviness in my chest it sucks. but bro the united states is trash and our medical system is even more trash
PotsyTater 05.26.23	Yes and also very lucky to have had the guidance from someone who was in medical school (I should clarify at the time he wasn’t yet a doctor but he is now) otherwise I wouldn’t have known any of this and to take seeking adjustment with my doctor into my own hands etc. that was extremely helpful knowledge. He also taught me a lot of really interesting things about ssri’s For instance, people with various forms of depression etc often naturally have smaller hippocampus’s, which is an important emotionally and social processor of the brain. It just so happens that ssri’s permanently make your hippocampus bigger and the discovery of this was just a happy accident. So ssri’s not only help manage symptoms of depression and anxiety, but they also give you a very topical biological power up by sheer coincidence. I’m explaining this as translated through my lens of being an absolute layman so take it with a grain of salt but I think it’s really cool. Also seek younger doctors but that’s a whole other rant
evilford 05.26.23	Also I'm definitely not saying there aren't bad doctors/psychiatrists. Obviously there are. I just hope the OP (or whoever needs to hear it) entertains the idea that good doctors and psychitrists exist who want to help you and actually can give life-changing or even life-saving services. I dont have as much technical knowledge on the subject as pots does but I like to think that I'm kind of a walking psychiatry success story, as silly/self-important as it may sound.
MisogynysticTryhard 05.26.23	@sneakers: yeah I mean my family is physically close by, financially supportive at times, but they have 0 advice to give outside of “get a job”. I’m lucky that I’ve got them to rely on atm. Posty: oh where to begin.. Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, depakote, k-pins, lexapro. WellB was an absolute fucking nightmare. I cycled through a different med probably every 4 months. Dosages weren’t ever really alternated. Nothing super crazy. It’s all been a blur tbh. No worries lads, I’ve not been on any medication for probably 6 months now.. probably the most stable I’ve been. It’s just that my stability = unproductive member of society and that fucking sucks. Alcohol hasn’t done anything for me in probably 5ish years. Every time I drink, I just feel terrible instead of feeling drunk. I had my fun with it though. Drugs are too expensive but I’ve dabbled amongst several types recreationally. They’re a non-issue in my opinion. My doctor was always blown out of his ass high on some kind of upper, but he’s been my doctor ever since I was a child and knows my family pretty well. I trust him to a certain degree but understand that he’s essentially a salesperson at least 1/4 of the time. I’ve never given a psychiatrist a serious effort though, because I know what my deal is and what issues I have if that makes sense.. the thought of psychoactive medication being prescribed to me doesn’t seem like an ideal situation considering the fact that my 10+ year senior half brother is one of the biggest pieces of shit in this entire town. Everyone knows him as a thief, a liar, a drug addict. I maybe have spoken to him 3 times in my entire life. He’s also in prison as far as I know. It’s difficult to admit you need psychiatric help when you know firsthand the end game of addiction and what kind of reputation that proceeds it. It’s terrifying. I love all of you. Everything’s fine, it’s just I’m so tired of shit being so fucked and hopeless yk :[
PotsyTater 05.26.23	“ I'm kind of a walking psychiatry success story, as silly/self-important as it may sound.” Same. Perhaps I should stress that a lot of doctor incompetence is due to the system itself. At least in Canada and America. That’s a whole other can of worms and I’ve already provided like 47 rants but I do have a lot of empathy for doctors in North America. Many that we would consider “bad doctors” are just well-meaning people that are overworked and underequipt, set up to fail by our broken medical systems.
PotsyTater 05.26.23	@misogynistictryhard (fucks sakes with this username lmao) Were any of them manageable side-effects wise? Was your issue with them that they didn’t feel like they were working or that they made you feel a certain way you didn’t like? Have you tried counselling? The important difference being that there will be no “eval” so to speak and no drugs
evilford 05.26.23	Exactly, thank you! The north American Healthcare system is literally rigged against people who actually want to help people. It is, of course, designed to generate profit first and foremost, and happy, healthy, functioning people is somewhere distant down the line from that.
MisogynysticTryhard 05.26.23	Tons of support here.. most I’ve received from any source in years. My doc is probably not a good match for me. Dude literally spends less than 5 minutes a visit. He’s a good listener, but it always feel like a hurried experience. Like those said earlier, doctors in the states are given a pretty shitty deal. The last visit I had with him was approximately 1 month before I was fired, was tapered down off my lexapro and told him I wasn’t exactly feeling secure at my job but my medicine wasn’t really keeping me from losing my shit over the slightest inconvenience like a monster lmao My side effects with most weren’t really notable outside of Wellbutrin. Every other med just drug me down. Made everything feel so lifeless and unimportant. Essentially most just magnified my prior discontent while slightly maintaining anxiety and outbursts of anger. I hated to come here and basically ask for psychological help, but when you’re broke with no job and your only other option is a joke free health clinic that sends you to a 3 month waiting list to receive council, you just feel cornered. I’ve never tried counseling, but I’ll look into it. Have honestly ignored a couple of friends who tried persuading me into doing that. Psychiatric help or therapy seems like the play though.. I just never really thought that section of healthcare was for people with motivational issues. But after reading some comments here, it’s probably my best bet. Sorry if I didn’t reply everyone, but your words mean a lot.
ToSmokMuzyki 05.26.23	what about books self help books happy ending books fun books
Vercetti 05.26.23	I can relate. Sorry, I can't give any advice. So far, I haven't even found a solution for my own depression. :( However, I wish you the best.
PotsyTater 05.26.23	Motivational issues is a very valid thing to see a counsellor about!
rabidfish 05.26.23	what interests you? what keeps your attention? what would make you say "i'll get off my ass to do/see/hear/smell/touch/taste that"? what makes you want? what do you like? meds are secondary, there's you first. what do YOU LIKE?
fogza 05.26.23	"Psychiatric help or therapy seems like the play though" I used to be on and off anti-depressants, and they did help, but completing a treatment of cognitive behavioural therapy did eventually allow me to live without them
zakalwe 05.26.23	It all becomes inconsequential because of the complete lack of hope. I have no doubt whatsoever that life is unbearable for you at the moment but that’s precisely what it is ‘a moment’ The moments come and go. Life will get better and it will get worse but to live is to love and there are people who love you and whom you love.
ZombieParty 05.26.23	im on medications for depression, anxiety and psychosis. i was a mess before i was on them. they have made my symptoms easier to deal with. only down side is they make me gain weight.
Minortimbo12 05.26.23	Never give up. Life can turn around quick. [2]
Rowhaus 05.26.23	Pick up an instrument and hit the gym every day. Life is hard, but you're harder. Never forget that.
PotsyTater 05.26.23	What fogza said Rowhaus out boomered zak wow
Rowhaus 05.26.23	Yeah bro I typed that here in my RV
Vercetti 05.26.23	"The moments come and go." If you are on a downward spiral the 'moment' doesn't just go away. At least not by itself.
loulou 05.26.23	Friedrich Nietzsche: “We have art in order not to die of the truth.” Immerse yourself in art, beauty lies there and remember that everyone is suffering, you're not alone.
kevbogz 05.27.23	i’m sorry it’s getting so bad homie. i think a big thing that’s missing is possible inner reflection i.e why can’t i keep a job? i cannot recommend therapy enough. w/o dumping too much of myself, the last 5+ years for me have also been incredibly tumultuous and devastating, but it really does get better. but that’s completely up to u. get some hobbies - i play classic wow in my down time, rollerblade, yoga, pickleball, shows; there are so many things that ur capable of diving into by urself
Kusangii 05.27.23	Life on earth is fucking brutal. Just try to remind yourself that you're a beautiful soul that's full of love in a heavy human body on a planet with extremely low vibration and that you're here for a reason. The human experience is just extremely tough. But at least we can relate to each others suffering in one way or another.
unclereich 05.27.23	Isolation can be a real kicker. You can get everything in good order but if you’re alone and without some support system, it’s very difficult to move forward. Men especially privy themselves as able to be left in isolation but behind every stable person there seems to be some kind of support system- whether it’s a partner, friend, or family member. There is a true pandemic of loneliness and it’s killing a lot of folks especially in our age group. I hope there’s a way for you to find a healthy relationship and someone for you to look forward to.
90m80s 05.27.23	isolation can be rejuvenating for an introvert
JayEnder 05.27.23	It can be, but isolation can lead to loneliness for even the truest of introverts. Everyone needs someone to confide in or at least talk to. It's even harder in the post pandemic era to meet good friends and establish healthy relationships. Seems like society is at this stand still where everyone is just biding time waiting for things to get better in the world, but they never do. It's quite sad really. Very rarely do I encounter people with character nowadays, a lot of people seem really socially awkward and lost. This world is truly a mess right now and it's just a really hard time for everyone. All we can do is hold our loved ones close and press on.
Winesburgohio 05.27.23	Obviously mental illness is complex and multi-faceted, and one's response needs to be proportionate - I can only offer what worked for me in the hopes something will resonate. The biggest difference-maker from a medical point of view was talk therapy, one-on-one (though some people benefit more from groups). Despite generally eschewing masculinity I think I sublimated an idea of shame that prevented me from going for a long time, and my first therapist I frankly didn't gel with - feel free to stop if it's not working while acknowledging it takes time to build rapport. In terms of lifestyle, forcing myself to adapt to structure and routine was a game-changer i.e. if I was having a shitty day I'd put myself to bed and start my day again with the same rituals (coffee, a long walk, more coffee) and I still do that, taking some time out of the day to reflect on things and focus on me. And. And. It gets better! Which I know sounds impossible, or even that the time required to do so represents an unendurable agony, but it's so, so nice on the other side. I really hope to see you here. arohanui x
90m80s 05.27.23	im no one to give advice. what works for one person doesnt usually work for another. ppl will gaslight you with their stay positive bullshit. if you are depressed enough to post online your business to strangers there's a good chance words and writing aren't going to make much of a difference. i was at a point once in my life when i needed to talk to a professional and it led to a misdiagnosis and even worse problems. however, i did get through that darkness. focusing on the outcome i want is usually a bad idea even today. if i know deep down that im still trying to figure things out, actually figuring out whatever it is that day doesn't really matter. its more about trying.
nol 05.27.23	lab rat lifestyle sucks but I will never stop trying because being off meds without any psychiatric help is worse.
90m80s 05.27.23	melinoe kicks ass