Colton
05.26.23 | pls help |
90m80s
05.26.23 | maybe hes just a lonely guy wantin to hang at the bar with a coworker. |
ffs
05.26.23 | send him a pic of your dick in its softest possible state |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Instead of telling him you’re not gay just say you’re down to hang out platonically |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Or alternatively, don’t assume his intentions, go hang out if you are interested in being friends, and cross that bridge if and when it comes to it. Maybe he just wants to chill. |
bellovddd
05.26.23 | just drop something about an ex girlfriend |
widowslaugh123
05.26.23 | Dude just hang out with your coworker it’s not that big of a deal |
budgie
05.26.23 | "im with my gf on friday but free saturday most likely" |
evilford
05.26.23 | Lol ffs |
Koris
05.26.23 | "Or alternatively, don’t assume his intentions, go hang out if you are interested in being friends, and cross that bridge if and when it comes to it. Maybe he just wants to chill."
Exactly what I was going to say |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Agreed with widow pretty much. There is a very low likelyhood that he actually thinks you’re gay and I will not elaborate on that but even if he did it doesn’t matter. If a girl asked you to hang out would you feel obligated to disclose your sexuality first? Probably not. Cross the bride when it comes to it. |
Colton
05.26.23 | that's entirely possible it's just the timing is weird cause he's never asked to chill before and we've worked together for a while |
zaruyache
05.26.23 | nope sorry you are gay now that's how it works. |
Colton
05.26.23 | "If a girl asked you to hang out would you feel obligated to disclose your sexuality first?"
not to disclose my sexuality but if she asked me to get drinks I would want to convey in some way that I don't view it as like an actual date, unless I wanted it to be obviously |
90m80s
05.26.23 | i was gonna add that i dont know you and maybe you are gay and you dont know it but he knows it and he'll help you become more comfortable with yourself |
Colton
05.26.23 | lol |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Honestly if we really want to dissect the situation he might think your curious and is amused by that but I wouldn’t read too much into it beyond that lol. There’s no reason to approach the situation any differently than you would anyone else asking you to chill. How would you convey to a girl that asked you to go for drinks that you didn’t want there to be a misconception that it’s a date? Just do it the same way. It’s way more awkward to make it a sexuality thing.
If he really thinks you’re gay because you know what campy means and said you want to fuck a male m&m that’s actually super funny tho |
pizzamachine
05.26.23 | You could try telling him you’re not gay |
bellovddd
05.26.23 | DONT BE SILLY PIZZA |
SitarHero
05.26.23 | Suck his dick, but badly. |
bellovddd
05.26.23 | lol |
90m80s
05.26.23 | what if he shows up to the bar dressed up as your fav m&m |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Sounds like you two get along, just like be friends
If he makes an actual move, just clarify that you're straight, but it doesn't sound like he has |
pizzamachine
05.26.23 | @90s: 🤤 |
Winesburgohio
05.26.23 | so now I'm thinking he actually thinks I'm gay cause I said "campy" and said I would fuck the male M&Ms |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Not saying you are anything like this but this reminds me of a story of a guy I knew in my early 20s who was oddly insecure about other people thinking he was gay and also was very insecure about his fashion sensibilities. He told me one day he went to Walmart and explained to me that he was looking at soups in the soup aisle and was wearing a tank top for the first time ever and a guy came up beside him and made small talk with him about the soups. he was straight up afraid that the guy thought he was gay for talking to him about soups while he was wearing a tank-top and he never wore a tank-top again. |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | tbh I own a lot of tank tops and I'm gay, so totally valid |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | So anyways you should stay away from m&ms |
Colton
05.26.23 | ok but that's a little different cause i'm talking about a guy who's actually gay asking me to get drinks not a guy who made small talk with me at walmart who i am projecting ideas of gayness onto |
90m80s
05.26.23 | be an ally |
zaruyache
05.26.23 | "and said I would fuck the male M&Ms"
haven't we all been there fellas |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Lol I know like I said I this has no comparison to your situation it just reminded me of it |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Colton, gay men and straight men can go to the bar together as friends |
evilford
05.26.23 | Holy shit. |
Koris
05.26.23 | "So anyways you should stay away from m&ms"
certified Linkara moment |
Colton
05.26.23 | probably not the best time to say this but I stay away from the ones with nuts in them, only like the originals |
Colton
05.26.23 | "Colton, gay men and straight men can go to the bar together as friends"
straight men and straight women can also go to the bar as friends but if one asks the other there might be that ambiguity of intentions yknow? nothing to do with being gay or straight or whatever |
90m80s
05.26.23 | u gotta try the peanut butter bro |
Colton
05.26.23 | I like peanut butter chocolate just don't like when they add actual peanuts
anyway it's been about an hour and 20 minutes since he texted me |
Koris
05.26.23 | The peanut butter one doesn't have nuts in it, so you'll probably enjoy it
And yeah, the original peanut M&Ms are pretty meh |
Supercoolguy64
05.26.23 | Colton you may not realize it but maybe this is the guy that will help you discover your inner self |
budgie
05.26.23 | why is the guy in your avatar wearingh one of those parasol things they put in a rum cocktail |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | “ certified Linkara moment”
I don’t understand the reference but I googled the name and just a picture of the guy was enough to give me a general idea lmao |
Koris
05.26.23 | He was one of the original collaborators of Channel Awesome, mostly focusing on reviewing comics. But his old porn usernames got leaked online, and his... let's say "interesting" tastes (including M&Ms) were revealed, lol
|
Deez
05.26.23 | Say you'll give him a hand job but then it has to stop |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | @koris 😂😂😂 amazing |
Emim
05.26.23 | "be an ally"
bean ally |
sneakers
05.26.23 | In case anyone hasnt said it already, just wear a MAGA hat and presto |
Supercoolguy64
05.26.23 | But what if his coworker is milo |
chemicalmarriage
05.26.23 | I read this and all I can say is you sound like a real powerbottom |
YoYoMancuso
05.26.23 | "I'm not gay! I said I'm deeply closeted!" |
Jasdevi087
05.26.23 | "straight men and straight women can also go to the bar as friends but if one asks the other there might be that ambiguity of intentions yknow? nothing to do with being gay or straight or whatever"
so then... handle it the same way you'd handle that situation, right? |
ToSmokMuzyki
05.26.23 | this sounds like a girl asking her friends if what he said means anything
ur definitely gay |
MillionDead
05.26.23 | Just fuck 'em, dawg. What's the matter with you? |
pizzamachine
05.26.23 | The notes themselves are gay, sounds like a party |
VlacDrac
05.26.23 | Suck his dick and when he finishes just say "no homo, brah". |
evilford
05.26.23 | powerbottom [2] |
MoM
05.26.23 | Tell him you’re not ready to go pop-punk |
Piglet
05.26.23 | peak sputnik |
protokute
05.26.23 | lol
cmon colty you can do it |
90m80s
05.26.23 | reading between the lines this might be one of those 'since you guys on sputnik music dot com are so gay using words like campy what would be the best way for a straight man to tell you that he's not gay in a way that wont hurt your feelings' |
ToSmokMuzyki
05.26.23 | wait wait wait i found the perfect solution
casually mention you'd much rather fuck the original sexy brown mnm |
anode
05.26.23 | Obvious. What’s with people and not just being able to say what they’re thinking? As long as your not a total pos, should be alright. I woulda responded to the text saying “yeah for sure mate! Just fyi I’m not gay in case you thought differently” |
robertsona
05.26.23 | Budgie nailed it not sure what else there is |
robertsona
05.26.23 | Oh I guess then you’d have to pretend you have a girlfriend
I dunno hmm say you have a date and then say “and. By the way — it’s with a woman” that’d be slick |
denboy
05.26.23 | lol @ the posters suggesting that he's not trying to hit on you
the message plus the fact that he felt the need to get your number off of someone else instead of just waiting to get your number from you at work, this dude clearly has horny-brain
|
robertsona
05.26.23 | nobody in their right mind would ever take advice from me about representing ex-relationships but could say you’re hanging with an ex and that “she’s” flaky or coming in from Toronto etc idk. |
denboy
05.26.23 | "I'm drowning in pussy all weekend but I think we can squeeze in a drink saturday night" |
denboy
05.26.23 | altho saying you're into women doesn't actually mean you don't like dick |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | 🙄 |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Lmao "how do i tell this guy im not gay" robertsona "hang out with an ex" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Bro |
robertsona
05.26.23 | Not hang out with an ex, say you are. I think y’all are underestimating the ease of getting “I like girls” in there, which I think is more of a deflater than you might expect (I think people overrate the extent to which people default to “bi” in these cases as an assumption) |
denboy
05.26.23 | text him the link to this discussion |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Yes r'sona i understood what you meant. 🤣🤣 |
robertsona
05.26.23 | I mean I need to read this again but assuming it wouldn’t be an issue to keep up budgie’s response is literally perfect. assuming it is then u get a little more creative but I DISAGREE somewhat with the impulse to not make an easy gesture toward being straight idk I was in this same position last year with a dude from college back in the day who I didn’t know super well and as soon as I was like “ex who’s a woman” the guy chilled immensely |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | There has to be something i can add to make this worse/better...hmm...oh,
This whole thread is pointless. The conversations you guys had at work were basic and that of scrubs. Just tell him regardless of whatever context his question is in that he isnt interesting enough to hang out with and next time he gets someones number he will be reported for getting yourbnumber. 😃 |
robertsona
05.26.23 | that of scrubs lol |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Tbh if a guy was setting off my gaydar and he said he had ex-girlfriend, I’d probably think he was bi rather than straight
Also which ex-would you pick in this hypothetical scenario Sona |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Ive been up two hours without coffee. I am vicious right now ! |
MoM
05.26.23 | Say okay and send him this https://youtu.be/WG2g-JHohB0 |
gryndstone
05.26.23 | You are overthinking this but the idea of a guy thinking you are gay because you said you'd fuck a certain m and m is sending me |
anode
05.26.23 | Yeah robertsona let’s dance around this very simple solution of just saying your not gay. How could that possibly be taken offensively? And if they do, fuck em. You did nothing wrong |
anode
05.26.23 | This is what’s wrong with the world “I’m gunna jump through all these hoops and half truths to not offend someone”. Yeah because being disengenuous and manipulative is way better than being honest |
botb
05.26.23 | Sorry bud, you’re gay now, time to dive in |
normaloctagon
05.26.23 | Lol anode dunking on himself 😂 |
anode
05.26.23 | Please go on oct:) |
robertsona
05.26.23 | “I’m not gay” could be a pretty weird thing to say if someone’s just like “wanna hang” maybe? I could see someone taking light offense |
90m80s
05.26.23 | good opportunity to put it back on him by saying "im cool to hang but not sure u would want to bcuz im straight" |
anode
05.26.23 | Put it back on him? Like he did anything wrong asking to hang out lol |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Colton you might want to just get it over with. I had a gay coworker who i told them i wasnt gay every time they asked me out and then they told other workers they were gonna make me gay and they suddenly didnt have a car and as the midnight closing manager they wanted to stay two hours late for me to give them a ride home. I did it once and had to yell at them. Dude tried it again the next night. The other manager was willing to come get them to help. |
anode
05.26.23 | If the dude has gay maneurismz or is openly gay which I am assuming is the case based off Colton’s post, then I think it’s perfectly normal. He would also have the out/joke of I”I just didn’t know if I gave the wrong idea from all tye m&m talk” lol
I just always lean towards being honest with yourself and others. If someone “slipped in” they have a gf or an ex id actually be way more annoyed because they’re fuckin pussy idiot for trying to manipulate the situation. I don’t like people assuming I’m stupid |
robertsona
05.26.23 | That’s quite the situation Storm
Yeah the only way imo to do “I’m not gay” would be to make an M&M joke yah, but could still make it clear |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Gay is okay. Stalking is not. Just dont let it escalate since they already getting your number from other people. |
robertsona
05.26.23 | “just so you know it’s really the lady M&Ms I’m into” |
90m80s
05.26.23 | yeah u know not wrong per se but obvs there's some kind of pressure Colton is feeling, needing to post about it and think about it a lot |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | Make a new website like corkonmusic but call it corkon list and tell them you reranked the mnms appropriately and have a paragraph or 3 for each and rank all the lady mnms up top |
robertsona
05.26.23 | Yeah show him coltonmusic |
anode
05.26.23 | That’s not his fault 90m. It’s Colton’s fault for not knowing how to express himself |
90m80s
05.26.23 | HTML & CSS by jon duckett is a solid website building text and def what u should do if u dont already have coltonmusic ready to go |
90m80s
05.26.23 | anode● but if colton acts like there's a perception that the gay guy has a problem he can get away with never confronting the elephant in the room |
fogza
05.26.23 | Arrange for the drink at a strip club like a bizarre update of the uncomfortable date scene in the graduate |
robertsona
05.26.23 | yea or insist on a sports bar |
Sinternet
05.26.23 | give him twenty minutes one on one with you and he'll lose all attraction |
frozencarl
05.26.23 | him asking a coworker for your number isnt as weird as you making a thread on sput about this. just invite him out with some friends if its really making you that uncomfortable |
robertsona
05.26.23 | Oh that’s genius I forgot about friends
I love that we’re all insisting this is way more simple than he’s making it out to be and then all giving him different answers as to how to deal with it but I forgot about friends that’s…wow |
robertsona
05.26.23 | in fact playing out the various scenarii in my head I feel like “can’t make it that night but hanging with some friends later this week/next” etc would be a perfect primer. What’s he gonna say. It’s incredible the solutions we come up with after 80 posts |
robertsona
05.26.23 | just gotta find some friends to play the role of friends |
anode
05.26.23 | You’re still brainstorming this like it’s a game of kerplunk. I already answered the question. Done |
JohnnyoftheWell
05.26.23 | absolutely incredible thread jfc.
if you think it'd be cool to hang with him platonically, just hang with him. if there's tension in the air and you're worried you're leading him on, just steer the conversation to any area where you can drop a casual "...if I swung that way" implicature or just be (hurr) straight with it. pretending to have a gf or orchestrating an entire proxy social occasion just to take the strain off a pretty natural and (if you drop the penny right) hilarious *potential* misunderstanding is way overblown neurotica lol
as per denboy, i don't think you're necessarily wrong to have read it this way, but also i wouldn't say the situation demands anything more than just rolling with it |
90m80s
05.26.23 | gonna be like The Rehearsal when it happens |
fogza
05.26.23 | Options
a) maybe just ask what for clarification of what the meetup is, I don't think you need to even disclose your sexuality here. I know it's a bit awkward but the fact that he got your number from someone else kinda opens the door to ask that question.
b) use platonic language like "sure buddy" when you accept the offer
c) otherwise, just go get drinks, try and clear your head of any preconceptions, and deal with it at the time if there's any underlying tension or overt advances. |
MoM
05.26.23 | Get drinks dressed as the M&M they said they were least interested in fucking |
robertsona
05.26.23 | I got another idea hold on |
robertsona
05.26.23 | It involves throwing a whole concert that proves you’re not gay |
robertsona
05.26.23 | kinda like a gender reveal party |
MoM
05.26.23 | Re-enact all of Cats for them, but with extra butthole and camp |
Feather
05.26.23 | Damn, looks like you are just going to have to be gay now. That's tough. |
Trifolium
05.26.23 | 🤭💞
Good luck colton! You'll figure something out. Many good ideas in this thread. |
MillionDead
05.26.23 | Yeah, man. So tough. |
Trifolium
05.26.23 | Tough and rough and steamy!!! |
robertsona
05.26.23 | I want this to turn out sooooooooo badly |
Romulus
05.26.23 | unreal thread. was expecting it to be super cringe and it was shockingly hilarious and pure. a+ to all involved great work |
MillionDead
05.26.23 | Genuinely haven't been this entertained by a sput thread in a minute. This is like a sitcom scenario. Tbh, though, as someone who swings that way every now and then, some gay men can be mad aggressive. And if they're not pretty, I can't really get into it. But just respectfully being like "Oh, I'm straight" if he starts flirting with you at any point shouldn't be anything a grown man can't handle. Otherwise just have a drink and a nice chat with your coworker. Seems like you guys have plenty of fun in conversations. |
Hyperion1001
05.26.23 | just try it dude you never know |
Feather
05.26.23 | Have you explored the possibility that you might actually be gay? You did admit to being sexually attracted to a male M&M. |
Feather
05.26.23 | @storm "Gay is okay. Stalking is not."
Had a similar situation once that actually resulted in the other guy getting fired. Not cool to pull this type of shit. |
MoM
05.26.23 | Where did the yellow M&M rank? I always thought he looked like Homer Simpson and I’ve never heard of anyone being sexually attracted to Homer and are you Marge? 🖌️ |
Tundra
05.26.23 | why would you joke about finding male M&M's sexy, this seems to be on you dude |
Colton
05.26.23 | I just said this to my friend I told about this. wanting to fuck a male M&M can't be gay, they're M&Ms. that's a total gray area |
anode
05.26.23 | haha sounds like you smoothed it over nicely |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Denboy severely underestimated the power of a gay man’s gaydar
Also yeah this thread is goated |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Johnnnys post [2] |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | “ gonna be like The Rehearsal when it happens”
Actually yeah, please take this to Nathan and make it into a Rehearsal episode |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | The Rehearsal was so good |
IsisScript80
05.26.23 | This is some of the funniest shit I've ever read on Sputnik. Needs featuring/preservation. Pure Internet gold. |
MoM
05.26.23 | “ fuck a male M&M can't be gay, they're M&Ms”
I feel like there’s a whole world of erotic M&Mfiction that hella emphasizes the “male”
part to where there’s not much gray left
I mean, their slogan is “ the milk chocolate that melts in your mouth, not in your hand” |
SomeCallMeTim
05.26.23 | please mods please don't ever delete this post |
Rowhaus
05.26.23 | tell him your favorite band is 5FDP |
Feather
05.26.23 | "erotic M&M fiction" considered googling this, but I decided it would be better not to |
MillionDead
05.26.23 | "tell him your favorite band is 5FDP"
That would dry my pussy right up tbf. |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Yeah hella |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | I think we’ve made some headway here tho, the option of just aggressively turning him off sounds like the way to go
So just be yourself!
(Kidding) |
Minortimbo12
05.26.23 | Say you wanna have kids someday |
widowslaugh123
05.26.23 | What’s the over/under on Colton’s next list being titled “Well, turns out I’m gay.”? |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | “ Say you wanna have kids someday”
Um |
IsisScript80
05.26.23 | "Say you wanna have kids someday"
...via surrogacy with you, my king. |
Storm In A Teacup
05.26.23 | "Had a similar situation once that actually resulted in the other guy getting fired. Not cool to pull this type of shit."
Yeah feather i probably should have had it done like that but i was/am too nice of a person. That person was also a pill head and i bought lortab one time from them but it turns out it was actually horse tranquilizer and i almost fuckimg died and couldnt get out of bed for 48 hours. My best friend broke into my apartment and found me in bed unconscious. |
izakaya
05.26.23 | I want to hear this guys side of the story, can you tell him to make an account |
RogueNine
05.26.23 | Most underrated comment is where he said it's poor timing to mention that he doesn't like the ones with nuts. Lmfao. |
pizzamachine
05.26.23 | Say you’re gay and horny for scientific purposes |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Is Colton’s coworker cute tho |
izakaya
05.26.23 | Is Colton's coworker as cute as the male m&m? |
Toad
05.26.23 | another vote for make an m&m joke
as someone else said something like "just fyi i am only actually interested in female m&m's lol
i'm sorry if that's assuming i just didn't want to give a false impression"
or something like that. just be chill and polite and you're good, the rest is on him
idk as a bi person with plenty of straight friends i appreciate people being forward and not making a big deal out of it. most likely if y'all get along fr it'll just be a funny beginning to the friendship |
Feather
05.26.23 | @storm jeez that is fucked man. Glad that didn't end worse for you...
I was in the same position though, I was too nice/didn't care enough to report this guy, but then one day I get called into HR and hear that he has been accused of saying/doing weird things to interns and someone dropped my name that I could personally confirm this behavior. It was one thing brushing it off when it was myself, but then hearing that the shit is continuing onto others because I didn't do anything about it is where I drew a line. |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Colton's next list should be a ranking of all of the M&M mascots, I think there' 6 right? One for each color? |
Shiranui
05.26.23 | Wiggle with your butt-cheeks and say something like "the wiener has landed on the millenium-falcon" thus insinuating sexual thrill while leaving your back door open for option number deux which is you own a Star Wars themed grill (very cool). |
Toad
05.26.23 | 1. Brown
2. Yellow
3. Green
4. Orange
5. Blue
6. Red |
Drifter
05.26.23 | oh my god this list brought toad back from his lily pad |
Rowhaus
05.26.23 | have you considered having hetero sex in front of him? |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | The orange one is the one who is afraid of being eaten right? I vote him just because he’s the only smart one |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Visions of soundoffs for toads music |
SitarHero
05.26.23 | "I love that we’re all insisting this is way more simple than he’s making it out to be and then all giving him different answers as to how to deal with it "
Because it IS so simple that literally anything short of saying "Ewwww no homo!" would be fine. |
Toad
05.26.23 | THEY KNEW |
denboy
05.26.23 | "Denboy severely underestimated the power of a gay man’s gaydar"
ah yes, the gay men are literally ✨ magic ✨ argument |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | I’m absolutely magic, what do you mean |
denboy
05.26.23 | Ok, ok. But not all gay people are magic |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Im bisexual and I’m exactly 50% magic. Explain that shit |
denboy
05.26.23 | how do you know which half |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Typical for the straight man to mistake intuition for witchcraft tho |
Cygnatti
05.26.23 | LMAOOOOO |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | “ how do you know which half”
Call it intuition
Or magic |
denboy
05.26.23 | potsy, you're seriously gonna tell me no socially inept gay guys exist |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | Lmao don’t take it too seriously |
denboy
05.26.23 | potsy, you're unseriously gonna tell me no socially inept gay guys exist |
JayEnder
05.26.23 | "Say you wanna have kids someday"
lmfaooo |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Actual gaydar has a lot to do with picking up on certain mannerisms and watching where their eyes go
So yeah a socially inept gay guy would be worse at this. Experience helps certainly |
IsisScript80
05.26.23 | "Im bisexual and I’m exactly 50% magic. Explain that shit"
The ability to pull half a rabbit out of half the hats you'd see. |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Gays are magic, why do you think they call us fairies
So wait by that logic half magic could be like a weird fairy-hybrid of some sort uh |
PotsyTater
05.26.23 | “Actual gaydar has a lot to do with picking up on certain mannerisms and watching where their eyes go”
Yeah the average straight guy can’t tell the difference between another dude checking them out and mean mugging them lmao |
robertsona
05.26.23 | , the greatest thread in the forum’s history, locked after 836 comments of debate, |
WatchItExplode
05.26.23 | Whoever said to send him a link to this list was probably dead on. He'll either be offended and no longer want to hang out. Or it'll be clear your senses of humor line up and it will be crystal clear that this is a platonic relationship |
Brabiz
05.26.23 | Personally, I think you should suck him off and stop being a baby |
Minortimbo12
05.26.23 | bruh the comments are hillarious
yk the ones that are meant to be |
Minushuman24
05.26.23 | this rules so hard. |
Cygnatti
05.26.23 | Amazing thread. Anyways, there’s like a 99% chance that this person is in fact flirting with Colton. That said, you can just go to hang out and if he says anything just clear the air when need be.
Or alternatively, you just don’t even like this person enough to want to hang with them outside of work. Tbh just tell him. |
WatchItExplode
05.26.23 | Invite him over for drinks at your place but serve black tooth grins and play Pantera for as long as it takes |
90m80s
05.26.23 | or just ignore the text and pretend none of this ever happened go about your life as usual lie to yourself and everyone around you it's not a big deal anyway |
ArsMoriendi
05.26.23 | Whoa this list brought Minus back on
How've you been bro |
Feather
05.26.23 | You could always block his number and move far away. Start a new life. Honestly might be the best option at this point, you are in way too deep. |
90m80s
05.26.23 | i feel like colton's social media humor spilled into the real world and now he can't compartmentalize the situation as he previously would have. bad sput bad influences. |
90m80s
05.27.23 | be anal ly |
neekafat
05.27.23 | Top 10 Painfully Straight Sput Users |
90m80s
05.27.23 | end str8 h8 |
pizzamachine
05.27.23 | List is QUEERly not straight! |
ArsMoriendi
05.27.23 | Pride Month is coming up, keep up the GAY lists |
90m80s
05.27.23 | noted |
pizzamachine
05.27.23 | Don’t cock it up boys
Unless… ;D |
90m80s
05.27.23 | how much do u want free drinks mirite |
naughtcturnal
05.27.23 | Become his non-gay friend |
Purpl3Spartan
05.27.23 | One of the funnier lists in a while tbh |
Storm In A Teacup
05.27.23 | Cocks out for orgasme |
Storm In A Teacup
05.27.23 | I was in shock this wasnt an old old old old thread. And beyond accepting that youd think okay its 5 years old. But no. Its hard to believe. Also cant believe no feature yet |
sneakers
05.27.23 | "Cocks out for orgasme"
and harambe |
DoofDoof
05.27.23 | When is the next episode of this ready? |
Storm In A Teacup
05.27.23 | Colton has to get his panties in a wad again, first. |
neekafat
05.27.23 | So like a day or two |
Storm In A Teacup
05.27.23 | Give or take 5 minutes but yes |
Egarran
05.27.23 | Sounds like a good way to locate your g-spot. |
MoM
05.27.23 | Tell him “I’m not gay, I’m Colton”
Easypeasy |
Egarran
05.27.23 | Gay and straight etc are outdated concepts. There is only pleasure. |
Demon of the Fall
05.27.23 | have you sucked his dick yet? |
IsisScript80
05.27.23 | “Colton has to get his panties in a wad again, first.”
Panties.
Wad. |
Storm In A Teacup
05.27.23 | Hah! Gay. |
Demon of the Fall
05.27.23 | let a guy suck my dick once because he thought I was ‘maybe bi’ and I’m a people pleaser
do the dutiful thing |
Supercoolguy64
05.27.23 | Did you become bi after that |
suppatime
05.28.23 | The fuck is this shit. Just don't be a fucking autist and be honest like someone in the thread said earlier. You said gay shit and are aghast that he thought you were gay. Just clear the air. It's also okay to hang out w gay people as a straight dude. Either b gay or don't brah. |
90m80s
05.28.23 | its made up |
PotsyTater
05.28.23 | Could we get zaks advice up in here please |
Deez
05.28.23 | hahahah my first thought tbbh |
Trifolium
05.28.23 | Colton how did it go???
All the juicy details please! |
neekafat
05.28.23 | “ You said gay shit and are aghast that he thought you were gay. Just clear the air.”
[2] |
pizzamachine
05.31.23 | Gay list is gay list |
MoM
05.31.23 | So, is there gonna be a new M&M soon or not? |
PotsyTater
05.31.23 | Update plz |
Colton
05.31.23 | so basically I responded by saying “yeah I’m down, we’re gonna go out with (other coworker) and (other coworker) for your birthday right?” kinda trying to deflect his focus to those plans, and he was like “yeah but we should hang out before that too.” and I said “yeah I’m down if I’m free sometime” and he did not respond. I actually worked with him yesterday and neither of us talked about it. wasn’t awkward or anything though just a normal shift. then we fucked |
Colton
05.31.23 | jk. but yeah pretty anti-climatic ending, I will ask him directly if he thinks i’m gay soon dw |
Colton
05.31.23 | “You said gay shit and are aghast that he thought you were gay.”
I didn’t say gay shit though |
MoM
05.31.23 | Nigga “ he's like "you would fuck THAT one???" pointing to one of the male ones and I was like hell yeah he's hot as hell.” |
Colton
05.31.23 | we’ve been over this, it’s not gay if they’re M&Ms, that’s a grey area |
MoM
05.31.23 | That’s not a gray area if he’s a male just cause only one of them got a nut, they’re sentient. What if aliens came down and were sexy and you hit if off with one? “I don’t know if i could fuck you, sexy alien, you’re not human and my sexuality doesn’t include m&ms, aliens, or anything not human, despite having sentience?” |
pizzamachine
05.31.23 | Thank you for the update |
Trifolium
05.31.23 | "we’ve been over this, it’s not gay if they’re M&Ms, that’s a gay area"
Fixed. |
PotsyTater
05.31.23 | Do we even know the m&m’s preferred pronouns? |
PotsyTater
05.31.23 | Let me check their respective insta bios |
MoM
05.31.23 | I thought it was printed on their front |
Trifolium
05.31.23 | Male & Male? |
MoM
05.31.23 | I’ve yet to see m&ms with eggs in them, but they got bags with all the nuts in them |
Trifolium
05.31.23 | Very true. |
MoM
05.31.23 | Then again, there could be trans m&ms, so there is that as well. Hmm… maybe they’re not male & males, but i dunno |
zaruyache
06.01.23 | the green m&m was originally a male, they are canonically trans |
DocSportello
06.01.23 | what is the sput discord? I would join |
GreyShadow
06.01.23 | "so now I'm thinking he actually thinks I'm gay cause I said "campy" and said I would fuck the male M&Ms and I wanna respond in such a way that lets him know that any hanging out would just be as friends and I'm not actually gay, but if I just outright say "I'm not gay" he might be like "okay? I didn't say you were" and it would be super weird"
can i use this in a song |
pizzamachine
06.01.23 | @ Doc: Invited ;) |
Colton
06.01.23 | @GreyShadow yes |
PotsyTater
06.01.23 | Did you ever respond to his text |
Colton
06.01.23 | yeah I commented it earlier |
PotsyTater
06.01.23 | Oh woops |
Sevengill
06.01.23 | this dude sounds like fun, maybe you should give it a whirl |
Sowing
06.01.23 | I don't know why, but I keep reading this as "how do i tell this guy i'm into i'm not gay" |
90m80s
06.01.23 | eminem |
Supercoolguy64
06.01.23 | Green is overrated, that brown M&M on the other hand can geddit |
DocSportello
06.01.23 | @pizza ah thanks!! forgot to even check this thread till now lol |
pizzamachine
06.01.23 | Just glad you joined |
Storm In A Teacup
06.01.23 | "we’ve been over this, it’s not gay if they’re M&Ms, that’s a grey area"
It is not a grey area. There is a man in a frog suit that would slap your face before nut tapping you and would not have two words for you. |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.01.23 | >we’ve been over this, it’s gay if they’re M&Ms, that’s a gay area
actually fix'd |
Demon of the Fall
06.01.23 | no-one reacted to my comment, y'all suck |
Trifolium
06.01.23 | And what, precisely, do we suck, Demon...? |
Egarran
06.01.23 | At understanding second-degree equations. |
ToSmokMuzyki
06.01.23 | what do you get when you suck mnms
nuts in your mouth |
pizzamachine
06.01.23 | “ no-one reacted to my comment, y'all suck”
What comment |
Egarran
06.02.23 | Damn pizza we were going to ignore that. |