Jash: Birthday Depression

Jash 05.11.23	Halfway through a week off work so hit me with those rec’s to keep me busy
IsisScript80 05.11.23	Ah, you share my brother's birthday. He's 29 today... he suffers with general low-level depression, unfortunately. Have as happy birthday as you're able.
Jash 05.11.23	Thank you, and I hope the same for him
JDubb 05.11.23	Indeed - bdays get harder the older u get. I remember 25 hit me hard (quarter century old). Hitting the decades old bdays hurts a lot. Less so on the in between.
IsisScript80 05.11.23	Cheers, Jash. :)
Koris 05.11.23	I can definitely relate to this, especially with some of the birthdays I've had while in the Navy. I lived in Japan for two years, and unfortunately Covid was running rampant through the country for that entire time - so I was in isolation during most of my tour there, including for my birthdays. Being halfway across the world from my family and friends, in isolation and being locked up in my barracks room... yeah, that stung quite a bit, and I basically drank it all away. Thankfully, my most recent birthday was spent with my family in Cali, so it went much smoother. Hope your birthday is at least going well :]
Tundra 05.11.23	yeah always birthday depression for me, one year further to my inevitable death.. woo celebration! (not)
pizzamachine 05.11.23	Getting old sux
PotsyTater 05.11.23	Happy birthday and sorry you are feeling blue and nice list. What do you ususally do with your birthdays? Is there an association that you can unearth that might contribute to the blues? If this has been happening since you were young I’d hazard a guess that it has nothing to do with simply getting older. I’m just wondering if there is a pattern or association that can be pinpointed so that you can make your future birthdays feel more optimistic! I know my idea of a good birthday is spectacularly different from what it was ten years ago haha
PitchforkArms 05.11.23	Wholesome pots is goated. Happy birthday, yo. Surround yourself with things and folks you like and try and drag yourself out, pal. We're with ya
Jash 05.11.23	@Pots I always take a week off work and plan fun things, the first few days of my vacation are always great, then then day before my birthday my mood dips, and that dip lasts a few days. I’m going to try and dive into this with my therapist next week. Appreciate your words bro And thanks to everyone else with the kind words as well
BigTuna 05.11.23	I relate to this for sure. Love to you man.
PotsyTater 05.11.23	Sounds like a productive approach, I hope you come to some helpful conclusions! Just wondering, do you get the blues towards the end of vacation / time off outside of your bday vacations?
Jash 05.11.23	Nah man not at all. This year is a bit harder than others because it’s my first birthday since my grandfather (my biggest role model) passed away, and although I’ve had moments of grief directly in tune with that, the general sadness has been similar to all the previous years. Part of it comes from a place of feeling unworthy of love, and then the other part I thought about earlier is how all these people I have no contact with post birthday wishes on Facebook when they don’t really care, yet today I know I won’t hear from some people I really hold close in my heart, and it’s just so backwards to me and gets my mind going down a rabbit hole
PotsyTater 05.11.23	Sorry about your grandpas passing RIP I can relate to the latter stuff for sure. In my mid 20’s I was really forced to grapple with my mental health (general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder) and in doing so I really started to look at my feelings of unworthiness of love and be more critical of both my social presence and who I surrounded myself with. I ultimately left social media entirely and cut ties with “friends” who I felt made me feel that I was undeserving and reinvested that time and energy into friends and family that propped me up and made me feel good about myself. Turned out some of my “best” and longest friends were no friends at all. It was a process I needed and it helped me get to a much better place, but it is also far from perfect. I accidently uprooted some “flowers” along with the “weeds” and lost precious time with some people that I shouldn’t have blocked out for a few years. I also lost touch with a lot of acquaintances that I would love to still be able to have contact with just by purging myself of social media. So it was mostly for the best, but it did come with its caveats.
Jash 05.11.23	Thank you, and I greatly appreciate your insight into all this. I’ve been narrowing my circle down over the last few years and it’s done a lot of good. One of my longest and closest friends completely ghosted me two months ago and it’s hitting hard today on top of everything else
evilford 05.11.23	It has definitely happened to me before. Sorry you're having a rough go, man. I can also relate to having all-time mental health highs, followed by seemingly completely random lows. Wish I had something more concrete to offer as advice. If you wanna chat or anything lmk
evilford 05.11.23	But yeah happy birthday anyways!
naughtcturnal 05.11.23	Had a mental breakdown on my 30th birthday this year. Doing fine now. High five bro we got this
Trebor. 05.12.23	It was definitely depressing turning 30
PotsyTater 05.12.23	Guys I enjoyed turning 30 😬 It was like a clean slate on adulthood, unmarred by the first three fifths of my 20’s, which were fun and chaotic and formative but most absolutely NOT adult
PotsyTater 05.12.23	It would be really cool to relive ~16-25 again but with 30 year old brain tho Damn I’d be so much better at everything
IsisScript80 05.12.23	^ That's a wish shared by many (me included). TBH, it'd be more or less impossible for most people to intuit that level of experience-based insight the first-time round. Speaking personally, most of the way I navigate life is via patten recognition (seeing the same things repeat over and over). It's incredibly hard to do when it's raw and you're not fully aware of norms and expectations. 30+ I too believe is when you've experienced a fair amount of most normal things--at least once--to make some kind of informed opinion (or at least cope with things with some frame of reference). Unfortunately, a good bulk of youth has gone by that point, but overall, it's probably life's sweet spot.
MoM 05.12.23	☃️ Happy birthday! ☃️ In my teens up until my early 20s, i was depressed and suicidal and it would definitely get worse around my birthday (part of it, for me, was that i felt melodramatic and silly for wanting to die but not being dead, and this embarrassed and frustrated me, among other things). When i met my wife, i decided that it was either going to be one or the other and i had to choose then, not later. So, worked on shit and dug up everything inside that had festered and been rotting and healed and learned and healed, etc. “ Guys I enjoyed turning 30” [2] I hope you feel better and that things improve for you! Thanks for sharing
anode 05.12.23	Not at all mate. I used to a little until I realized it’s just another day and really arbitrary in the grand scheme of things. Youre only one day older on your birthday than you were the day before
anode 05.12.23	On getting ghosted by a close friend jash I feel ya on that one. In my case, I came to the acceptance that the person doesn’t care about me and so I keep him at arms length now to make sure it can’t affect me anymore and move on
Jash 05.12.23	Thank you everyone for the wishes and the wisdom, feeling slightly better today, going to go out and get supplies for a makeover of apartment deck, hopefully that will snap me out of this funk completely
PotsyTater 05.12.23	Get you some of that good birthday deck
Jash 05.13.23	Oh this birthday deck is good, 4 hours of shopping and a nap later I’m starting the assembly, not sure if I’m thankful for this May heatwave or not yet Pots, how is the temp on the mainland?
PotsyTater 05.13.23	I feel similarly uncertain, it’s nice to finally have a lick of nice weather but I fear the fact that we are already getting one of these heatwaves in early may doesn’t bode well for the rest of summer! I don’t want to see it hitting like 36 degrees again, the last two summers have been fuuuuucked
Jash 05.13.23	Yeah man it’s been wild, so thankful I invested in an air conditioner last year, my apartment gets so bad and with the amount of plants I have I can’t keep my blinds closed all day to help keep the heat out
PotsyTater 05.13.23	Me and my partner just bought our first condo this winter and before that we’ve been lucky to be renting houses with central a/c systems so we were REALLY worried about that especially after these last two years! The first thing we did when we moved was buy an a/c hahaha. Bought it in mid December before they got scarce.
JayEnder 05.13.23	Yeah, I've felt this way since I was like 21. It's just another day to me at this point, nothing really worth celebrating. Never held much value to my life anyways Birthday blues are totally normal tho man, don't worry about it.
Sowing 05.13.23	Every birthday over 30 has made me feel worse. Despite that, I hope things lift up for you and that you have an enjoyable birthday!