Storm In A Teacup
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Sputnik Copypasta III: Eat The Elephant Wars

Ciorcal Foirfe
1Thursday
Common Existence

rodrigo90

06.24.22

[Report this Post] being sick on pride month is so homophobic

It's actually a sign of gays being retard on not comprehending what PUT A FUCKING CONDOM MEANS.

Bro, I don't care where you put that penis, but for the love of God, The ass is one of the biggest sources of AIDS. In what language do you want me to explain it?
2A Perfect Circle
Eat the Elephant

It's good to know that this shithole community gets off on the unjustified mockery of others. Just apologize Deathconscious. You know you were being a dickhead for no reason.

Would it be easier to apologize if I was nice first? Deathconscious, based on your ratings, you've got good taste in music and our tastes are very similar. I'm sure you're a good contributor on the regular who just made a mistake and said some dumb stuff. It happens. Just apologize and let's move on.

- LOGOS
3God Forbid
IV: Constitution of Treason

goddamn we got another linguine thread - the antichrist
4Nickelback
No Fixed Address

*redacted* because it was submitted by sitarhero
5Head Automatica
Decadence

When I said I was misogynstic I was referring to the fact I used to watch a shit ton of internet porn and look at females as objects! I just need to find a chill wife that is beautiful and I'm over meaningless hookups and shit

- deadcrown
6Pink Floyd
Relics

Single motherhood is proof that abortion, contraceptives, and social nets don’t work

- meridiu5
7Black Sabbath
Mob Rules

"Lmao at all the soulcels who are still talking about political affiliations in this thread. You do not understand."

- ManFromTheSewer in a Deathspell Omega thread
8Crab Legs
Vegan Jeff Rides Again

tell her you wanna smash but wear those hulk gloves when you do it so that way you have an out in case she don't want the d and you can be like "lol hulk smash amirite

- nastycrab
9Zapruder
Zapruder

demon of the fall - I just got fish-dicked by a Half-Stached Man from Montreal... and it was glorious.
10HORSE the band
Beautiful Songs By Men

"youre so obsessed with trolls that you dont know who is real anymore. everyone is a troll. i like to suck horse dick. that is no weirder than your father fucking your mom and her double chin flapping up and down as you fap furiously in the next room ,your ears pressed to the wall as you cum"

-SinatraFist
12.12.09
11Pig Destroyer
Painter of Dead Girls

whaddya say we lighten things up and talk about abortion
let's talk about abortion
let's talk about child killing and see if we can't get some chuckles rippling through the room here
let's talk about mass murder of young, unborn children - see if we can't coalesce into one big, healthy gut-laugh
ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

- Sharenge
12Stone Sour
Straight Outta Burbank

"I'm married, 3 children, I hate Hitler and wannabes that follow him, I was an athlete in HS, mostly football, I crushed more pussy than you could imagine before I was 21, I am a narcissist and I wish for one day I could be alone in absolute silence to embrace the comfort of lonliness."

-kevbogz, "Neek is nonbinary and old" list

"When is the next edition of this list coming out?" - koris

July 1st, 2022, my friend.
13Megadeth
The System Has Failed

Whats going on storm, youve hardly touched your pasta. - deathconcious

I pledge to wage war and unveil the digital macaroni.
14Mystery
Theatre of the Mind

Album aside right now, you never name the vocalist's actual name – let alone the other band members. Instead, you refer to Maria only as "she", "her", the *female* singer/screamer, before making brash comparisons to vocalists who frankly bare little-to-no resemblance to Future Palace's sound or influence. Seeing as this review primarily focuses on grasping for straws in a "who's who" of core/scene vocals, it would have been nice to see educated, apt comparisons. Maria doesn't sound like Hayley from Paramore; the Spiritbox and Icon For Hire comparisons in your opening sentence feel like lazy name-drops from someone who probably needs to hear more music to make a meaningful connection to other vocalists (and please, stop with the *female-fronted is a genre* energy.) I barely use this site outside of checking weekly releases and occasionally the blog interviews, and I guess literally anyone can submit reviews regardless of competence; but after 200+ reviews I'd expect much higher quality
15Future Palace
Run

"Album aside right now, you never name the vocalist's actual name – let alone the other band members. Instead, you refer to Maria only as "she", "her", the *female* singer/screamer, before making brash comparisons to vocalists who frankly bare little-to-no resemblance to Future Palace's sound or influence."
16Massive Attack
Splitting the Atom

"Honestly it's embarrassing you guys deleted comments from that guy. I forget who it was that was spewing ridiculous bullshit but some of you weren't trying to have friendly discourse. Even though that guy was super ignorant you delete his comments!? You expect that dude to see from your perspective but you were total ASSHOLES to him!? Just doesn't seem right. Let's be better guys. He seemed ready to have a discussion... maybe!? Hard maybe lol. Ya'll just shit all over that dude. When does being a total prick get your point across!!? Even if you're right? Way to fuck up a discussion you "educated" donkey fuckers."- Dromasta
17Deathspell Omega
Diabolus Absconditus

Do you have no ruth for the Wendy's worker?

My friends, my review indeed foretells what I'm trying to teach you. This album is a warning for those who can understand its meaning. Most of you laugh at me. I do not laugh back. You have yet to foreguess how dire your situation is. Even Deez, who superficially praised my review earlier, he now joins in the laughing. He has yet to truly understand my meaning.

My friends, I come here not as a reviewer, but as a forespeaker: your life, as it is, will not abide much longer. Do not overlook the meaning of this album. There are many who laugh at this review since it lowers the many, disrespects the listeners, and prioritizes lyric/meaning over the sheer sound of the music.

I did not write this review to disrespect the many. I wrote it to help those fewfolk who see the significance of this album's message.Truefriends, please do not indulge in the belief that our current lifeway is normal. Sputnikfriends, please see the strangeness behind this
18Rise Against
The Sufferer and the Witness

"like it or not capitalism works"
-gyro or calligy honestly does it matter which one
19Unearth
Extinction(s)

"This album being only a 3.2 makes this website lose all credibility, super disrepectful. It is one of the goat modern metalcore albums, no whiny screamo in sight and one with the sun is the best metalcore song since 2018"

- thedangerman on Unearth's Extinction(s) average
20Billy the Kid
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

"storm ina teacup will 100% by the dwon fall of this site and the entir world"

Colton drunk blaming me for everything lol
21Sufjan Stevens and Angelo De Augustine
A Beginner's Mind

Fine I’ll fuck Cap’n Crunch I guess Jesus - potsytater
22Lolishit
Chest Flattener

Gnocchi
Staff Reviewer
June 6th 2023


18134 Comments
Report this Post

This isn't the worst review I've read on this site. It is however crying for details/examples and some body to the frame.


ToSmokMuzyki
June 6th 2023


4980 Comments
Report this Post
Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

how to tell someone u negged it without telling him u negged it
23New Riders of the Purple Sage
The Adventures of Panama Red

Purpl3Spartan

04.10.23

[Report this Post] Oh yeah baby kings run the league
24William Shatner
Has Been

Pizzamachine "i got a big noodle hehe"
25Emmure
Nine Eleven Zero Four

One day people will look back on Emmure the same way they do on guys like van gogh and such who could barely make money in their time but were later seen as artistic geniuses. I'm telling you guys Emmure understands something only people in a thousand years will.

-TrantaLocked
26Pantera
Vulgar Display of Power

"While I understand their decision, I'm sick to death of all these pussies in metal getting offended by everything. Metal is meant to be offensive. Even if they were actually racist, which I don't believe they are, I still wouldn't give a fuck. I listen to music for the tunes. I could give a fuck less about someone's personal politics or whether or not they might be "racist". Grow some balls and cry me a fucking river."

- DarkRecollections
27Sleep Token
Take Me Back to Eden

What’s a normie? That like a person who kills their mother after forming a weird, fucked up quasi-incestual relationship? Normies should be spurned and burned indeed -Mom

Nah it is just sowing - potsy
28Periphery
Periphery II: This Time It's Personal

'more singers that didn't sound painfully normal came out, technology got better, songwriting got better and more emotion-evoking as the state of the world got worse and more people wanted to open up their hearts'

veinblitzer trashing all music before the 90s, essentially. Periphery thread because of course.
29Periphery
Periphery III: Select Difficulty

Don't you think I've tried to get into more older music to broaden my horizons and understand things better? The issue comes because a lot of it just starts bleeding together and sounding really basic and it's a situation where I respect the origins but don't enjoy it nearly as much as modern music, and I can't sit here listening to 200 old-ass albums to try to pick out minor differences, especially when back in the 60s, they seemingly had more 20 year old guys that all sounded like they were in their 40s and 50s with the most normal-ass vocal timbre you've ever heard. Either that or they sounded off-key like Dylan.'

another good one from the same user / thread
30Sleep Token
Take Me Back to Eden

I also don't think I've ever heard a Jacob Collier song but to deny that he's talented as all hell would be an absolutely insane take. Don't think I'd dig his style, but damn- syco722
31Material Girl
Chain User

An enjoyable review. I don't sense a desperate ego anywhere in your delivery. Putting the reader first and not tying yourself up in superfluous nonsense. Cheers - bighubba dud
32The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Don't You Fake It

My last high school girlfriend used to constantly demean and gaslight me into thinking I was a horrible person, she was a heavy belieber and always tried to mold me into some copy of Justin Bieber, and if I didn't match her expectations she made it obvious. She used to "test me" by pretending to break up with me to see if I would chase after her. I had just been diagnosed with anxiety and she would send me into scared panic attacks, and yet despite it all, I couldn't get myself to leave as she made me think I couldn't exist without her. Finally I had enough, but the damage was done. My anxiety got worse and I became completely unable to trust women besides my mom and sister. I had one more relationship in college but it didn't last a week before I realized I was too messed up to hold down a relationship. I'm 30 now, haven't had a girlfriend since and I don't think I ever will.
33The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Don't You Fake It

Continued from 32

The thing people don't realize about abuse is that it's not just the victim that becomes psychologically distorted from the abuse. The abuser constantly forces themselves to believe what they are doing is right and necessary, and as the abuse keeps going, they entrench themselves even more into that belief, creating a vicious cycle that never ends and only gets worse. Abusers are no different than cult leaders, they belief in the shit they preach, they believe they need to dominate, otherwise the careful Jenga tower that gives them power will crumble to dust.

Ending abusive relationships isn't just healthy for the abused, but for the abuser as well.

"Face Down" is an emotional bop. Fuck abuse. - Calligy Jack
Show/Add Comments (96)

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