JefferyBigglestein2
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Last Active 11-17-21 2:10 pm
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11.03.21 no nut november megathread10.26.21 Dune Movie Review
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08.09.21 Pop Smoke - Faith Review08.06.21 jefferybigglestein says

Dune Movie Review

spoilers below. This review comes from the perspective of someone who has not read the books. And before you discredit my opinion for such, remember that about 80% of the people watching this movie have not read the books either. You're not cool just cause you read dune 4 the search for more sand. You're just a fucking virgin.
1Dune
We Are in There You Are Out Here


So I just finished dune and I was stunned to hear the critics gassing up this movie. Well honestly its actually not that surprising that critics are sucking off the biggest attempt at oscar bait in the history of film. Lets be honest though. This movie is incredibly fucking boring and drier than the desert planet the majority of the movie takes place on. The 2 hour 30 minute runtime falls flat and just dregs on due to A) the characters are uninteresting and one-dimensional, and B) most the movie being filler exposition that takes way too long to explain and adds too little to the overall story. Timothy Chamalongadingdong's character isn't interesting enough and he's not a charismatic enough actor to warrant 156 minutes of monotonous exposition. The monotone, stiff dialogue and unexpectedly poor acting really prevented me from being immersed with the amazing visuals and worldbuilding. I watched this movie high and it still wasn't that exciting.
2Dune
We Are in There You Are Out Here


This movie would be like if the first 30 minutes of a New Hope was stretched out into a 2 and a half hour movie, and the movie ends when Luke goes off with Obi Wan to be a Jedi. Except instead of being a scrappy underdog who is full of guts and heart Luke is a robotic and lifeless mannequin that makes me yawn every time he comes on screen. I get they're trying to tell a large overarching story with a heavy emphasis on worldbuilding. I already see a lot of comparisons to Lord of the Rings. Heres the thing though Lord of the Rings story actually was captivating because they spent more time developing characters and telling exciting stories then trying to blast the audience with waves of mundane exposition. Is LOTR perfect fuck no but all the LOTR movies stand on their own and i cant say that about dune. I want a cohesive and well told story not a graduate doctoral thesis from a virgin.
3Dune
We Are in There You Are Out Here


For an "all star cast" the acting is pretty fucking mid. Timothée Chalamet's preformance just sucked and he lacks variety. His only character development is joining the arabs and learning to control his powers he has no personality or charm. You hire Jason Momoa who is one of the most charismatic dudes in hollywood just to turn him into a one-dimensional soldier that has one funny line the entire movie (when he says Timothy has gotten stronger, Timothy says wait really, Momoa says nah im just fuckin with you). Also he dies making a completely unnecessary and pointless sacrifice. I'm not going to be emotionally drawn in to Momoa's sacrifice which im guessing was supposed to be a super critical and engaging part of the movie because his character is just paper thin and the sacrifice itself could have easily been avoided.
4Dune
We Are in There You Are Out Here


As for the other big name actors honestly there isn't much to work with. Oscar Issac's character is featured heavily in the first half, all I know about him is that he has a private army and he's Timothy Chamalet's dad. He kinda is just there doing things and we don't know why or what his motivations are aside from the general idea of "i need to protect my family and make spice". His character is rather tepid but it's still miles more developed and fleshed out than the rest of the characters combined. None of the other characters really have ambitions or motivations and we kinda just follow them around as they get from plot point A to plot point B.
5Dune
We Are in There You Are Out Here


The movie's marketing hyped up Zendaya's character heavily but she does fuck all in the movie. Dave Batista's character also gets made out to be this super important figure, and he too has about 5 minutes of screentime and does diddly squat. Same with Josh Brolin's character who exists just for a quick training scene. A lot of characters are introduced and just die without me really giving a shit about them. I can't remember a single character's name or their personalities cause it all just blends together. Villenueve is a master of art and style but just fails to populate his world with emotion or depth. He should honestly just be a painter it would be a better use of his time. You don't need character development or dialouge in a painting just look at the pretty visuals. But this is a movie where characters and story actually matter which he unfortunately sucks at.
6Dune
We Are in There You Are Out Here


reddit neckbeards and 80 year old geriatic sci fi fans will whine and say "WELL ITS A PART 1 ITS SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE WHEN PART 2 COMES OUT". Well part 1 fucking sucked and can't stand on its own. A New Hope was part 1 for star wars and guess what its a complete movie that has interesting characters, a captivating story, and actually has a beginning middle and end. A New Hope actually stands on its own and you can watch that movie without falling asleep. Dune abruptly ends and just feels incomplete. Also part 2 hasn't even been confirmed yet, im sure they will get around to making it but to be honest I don't see the point in watching it since it's probably going to be so connected to part 1 that I will have to rewatch it for part 2 to make sense. Is this the worst movie of the year no but it's just a complete waste of time and super overhyped by virgins and losers. I was high as fuck and this movie still sucked so you can't tell me I needed to be high to understand it. 3.5/10.
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