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10.09.20 Albums You Hate - And Why!09.03.20 Ranking My Belly Button Lint
07.27.20 Beardfish Albums Ranked

Albums You Hate - And Why!

Exactly what it sounds like. Comment below with an album that gets under your skin like few others. All genres, all bands, all opinions welcome. Nauseatingly pretentious? Lyrically horrid? Shamelessly unoriginal? Dreadfully boring? You name it! Whether it's a musical pariah or a supposed classic, tell us why you hate it! Preferably, your explanation should be somewhat elaborate - musical opinions are spicy so the more detailed the better! Get to the real essence of why you detest it as much as you do.
1The Human Abstract

LeddSledd: The Human Abstract - Midheaven

This is so painful to listen to. A skittles-and-fish combo of sweepy metalcore and whiny alt-rock, an idea already DOA, that's thoroughly grating to the ears. The production is so uneven and clippy that its almost dizzying, and the nonsensical lyrics are dripping with pretension. It's only 45 minutes but it feels sooo much longer. A horrible misstep by the band - thank god they never did anything remotely close to this again.
2Knocked Loose
Laugh Tracks

DopeFiend: Knocked Loose - Laugh Tracks

Low rate knockoff of a sound Disembodied did way better 20 years ago.
3100 Gecs
1000 gecs

SlothcoreSam and Avantgamos: 100 Gecs - 1000 gecs.

It's fucking shit!

naughtcturnal: Onision - Bipolar

Because it has the power to instantly make you feel physically ill
5Porcupine Tree
The Incident

BlazinBlitzer: Porcupine Tree - The Incident

I think this is the spicy pick you're looking for because I don't even think this album is less than mediocre and there are much worse out there quality-wise. However, this is one of the only albums I don't think I'll ever forgive. Porcupine Tree, up to this point, were able to follow up any challenges with something exciting and unforgettable, no matter how well some albums stacked up to others in their discography. The Incident forced the band into a stylistic crossroads and that crossroads became the only challenge the band couldn't overcome. This ultimately killed any potential for new material from them and it's sad to realize considering they've been my favorite band for five years now.
6Rings of Saturn

porcupinetheater: Rings of Saturn - Dingir

A sacrificial lamb industry plant shadow founded by Michael Keene to trick people into forgetting that The Faceless also suck unwashed ass
7Animal Collective
Painting With

beefshoes: Animal Collective - Painting With

It's not that it's even a horrible album; rather, it's just miserably uninspired and medicore given the strength of their output from the aughts and what they are capable of doing.
8Hollywood Undead
Swan Songs

Kompys2000: Hollywood Undead- Swan Songs

Because you know what Linkin Park was always missing? Casual homophobia and embarrassing white-boy gangsta posturing!
9Drain Age and Marion
East End Sessions

bloodshy: Drain Age and Marion - East End Sessions

it literally hurts my ears. like actual pain, but possibly just extreme discomfort. it's my hypothetical go-to when i hypothetically need a headache
10Nostalgia Critic
The Wall

ItsTheSquirrel: Nostalgia Critic - The Wall

The instrumentals are just shittier versions of the originals and Doug's lyrics are some of the most humorless and stupidest "criticism" I've ever heard. And on top of that he somehow manages to sound even worse than Roger Waters sounded on the original album
11Sun Kil Moon

Pheromone: Sun Kil Moon - Benji

this review does a pretty good job
You Fail Me

TundraL5Z: Converge - You Fail Me

I could pick any Converge album for this but chose this one because this band in general has failed me, so overhyped kekek. Mathcore scream mathcore scream, some yall like this stuff man, and I question thy sanity of those who do. Car Bomb outclasses this band, CB are more complex, have better production, better vocals, and I dont even like CB that much. Merits I can give to Converge is the drumming pretty dope but the guitars do nothing special at all. Just not so good, u feel me?
13Green Day

ReturnToRock: Green Day - !Dos!

It's everything people expected !Uno! to be - and then some. Far and away the worst album of the trilogy, and the worst of Green Day's career up to that point. A song like Nightlife has no place existing in an album by the same band that gave us 'Kerplunk', 'Dookie' and 'American Idiot'. The rest of the album is nowhere near as awful, but it's still amazingly bad by any standards, actively destroying any good will its predecessor might have created and significantly bringing down the level of an already middle-of-the-road trilogy.
Standing on the Shoulder of Giants

ReturnToRock: Oasis - Standing On The Shoulders of Giants

I forgot about why I hated this one so much, as it's literally been 20 years since I last heard it. I know my 14-year-old Oasis-loving self was SUPER HYPED for it, and was subsequently so disappointed I took the record back and exchanged it for something else. I vaguely remember it being super-boring apart from the single, which made the experience even more soul-crushing, because the single had been SO GOOD. I've not bothered with any of the newer Oasis stuff, aside from the odd song - and it's all this album's fault.
15Jon Bellion
Glory Sound Prep

YoYoMancuso: Jon Bellion - Glory Sound Prep

everything pop music shouldn't be
Kingdom Come

JefferyBigglestein: Jay-Z - Kingdom Come

Hyped up as the big return project, "the jordan returning to the nba" of the hip hop world. Except it was fucking garbage. The Black Album was a decent sendoff but god this project sucks. The flows are weak and the brags are repetitive and corny. People overlooked how shitty and flavorless this record was, because they were just happy to have Jay-Z come out of retirement.
17Judah and the Lion
Folk Hop N' Roll

Valzentia: Judah and the Lion - Folk Hop 'n' Roll

its fucking redneck Brokencyde
The Least Successful Human Cannonball

TheAntichrist: Destruction - The Least Successful Human Cannonball

if pantera and machine head fucked, had a butt baby that survived from a self-induced coat hanger, and it grew up on a diet of pig's blood and spoiled goat meat chained up in the basement, then this album would be the end product.
19Florida Georgia Line
Here's to the Good Times

Ecnalzen: Florida Georgia Line - Here's To The Good Times

Anything and everything I have heard by Florida Georgia Line

Their only album I have heard in it's entirety, tho, is Here's To The Good Times since I worked at a music store a while back and it was in our cd rotation for a while. Good fucking lord, I hate that album. It's the worst of everything I can imagine from pop and country smashed together into an awful mess of music, if you want to even call it that
20Sonic Youth
Daydream Nation

DavidYowi: Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation

This band sounds so fucking bored to be a band, like they're gonna fall asleep mid-song. Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore are the most uncharismatic vocalists I've ever heard.

DavidYowi: Obscura - Diluvium

You have to be intensely shitty for me to hate a metal album that features fretless bass playing. You'd have to actively go out of your way to suck in order to achieve that
Get a Grip

rodrigo90: Aerosmith - Get A Grip

Can't stand most of the ballads in the album, especially Crazy, everytime I hear it, it puts me in a very bad mood and I ask myself, how they got there when Pump was tousand times better. I'll take done with mirrors which is their first "mediocre" album over get a grip, anyday.
23Boston Manor
Welcome to the Neighbourhood

Snake: Boston Manor - Welcome to the Neighborhood

basically a cartoony halloweenish cross between U2 and three days grace and for some reason diy kids eat this shit band up

Dewinged: Slint - Spiderland

Because I am the only fool in the room that doesn't understand it.

Pikazilla: Slipknot - Iowa

Megalomaniacs in gimp suits write pretentiously tacky music for hormone-afflicted middleschoolers
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