JesperL
Jesper L.
Contributor

Reviews 40
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Album Ratings 1309
Objectivity 79%

Last Active 10-23-20 3:46 pm
Joined 03-15-16

Forum Posts 4
Review Comments 1,598

 Lists
10.07.20 The Oceans Ranked10.03.20 i miss concerts
07.29.20 A guide to nu-gaze06.13.20 Midterm report
04.23.20 Some overlooked 2020 releases07.23.19 If Green Day's trilogy were one good al
04.30.19 Top 12 Counterparts songs03.14.19 Underrated 2019 indie/gazey records
12.20.18 Best and worst album covers of 201808.20.18 Underrated 2018 indie/gazey/dreamy stuf
05.31.18 Best albums of 2018 so far05.10.18 Underrated 2018 releases
05.01.18 U2 albums ranked12.13.17 Top 40 albums of 2017
05.21.17 Top 40 Albums of 2016

The Oceans Ranked
516 Horsepower
Secret South


The Southern Ocean

Super generic and boring ocean, many view it as an extension of other oceans rather than its own thing. But hey, some experts or whatever said this is an actual real life ocean, so here you go buddy, last place for you.
4Like Pacific
In Spite of Me


The Pacific Ocean

Just too goddamn big. Like, chill, there's really no need to cover a third of the earth's surface. Also absolutely terrifying because of how deep it is; 36,200 feet to be precise! Not sure how deep that is because I'm European and exclusively speak kilometers, but it sure does sound deep and like it would encompass a lot of weird freaky fish and stuff. Yikes.
3Arctic Monkeys
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not


The Arctic Ocean

A very decent ocean, but still crashing into third place because it seems a tad cold. Also, it's kind of pathetically tiny. But I think there's either penguins or polar bears (definitely some funky seals) vibing there so it's all good, very respectable ocean.
2Twin Atlantic
Free


The Atlantic Ocean

Another rather obese ocean, but not as arrogantly immense as its Pacific counterpart. What really sets this one apart, however, is its sheer range. Like, damn, Atlantic's islands include both Ireland and the Canaries? Go you! A well deserved second place.
1From Indian Lakes
Absent Sounds


The Indian Ocean

Without a doubt the best ocean there is. Not too big, not too small. The Indian Ocean is very chill: it's simply doing its ocean thing without disrupting others or showing off too much. A lot of cool underwater mountain ranges can be found here, but, most importantly, Madagascar is a proud participant of its waters! I have seen all seven (yes, there are actually seven) Madagascar films and I can confirm that it's a very good time. Congratulations to The Indian Ocean!
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