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Metal Genres That Don't Actually Exist

You heard me.
Walls of Jericho

Speed Metal doesn't exist. It's usually just thrash with a vocalist who can actually sing, or power metal with a vocalist who can't.
Fallen Angel of Doom

"War Metal"? We already have a name for that. It's blackened death with shit production.
3Dream Theater
Images and Words

Metal bands with progressive tendencies exist, sure, but what people like to think of as the codified genre of "Progressive Metal" is usually just Power Metal In 7/8

"Viking Metal"? Yeah, a lyrical theme doesn't make a musical genre. It's either the power metal end of folk metal or it's the black metal end of folk metal.

Stoner and Sludge Metal might be overlapping terms, but at least I can see the sense in separating the two ends of the spectrum. "Southern Metal", however? Get real. We don't need three names for "metal that leans on the blue note"
To Violate the Oblivious

"Depressive black metal is a sub-genre of Black Metal which features an overall monotonous sound, repetitive and frequently droning guitars, apathetic drums, occasional minimalistic keyboards and atmospheric ambient passages." Really? Just sounds like someone didn't put effort into their regular black metal to me.
Slave Design

"Cyber Metal": is just industrial metal for posers.
8Cock and Ball Torture

Pornogrind doesn't exist. It's just fucking goregrind.
Through Silver In Blood

"Atmospheric sludge metal" is a really good way to say "I know post-metal exists, but I need a more wedgiable way to refer to it"
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