unclereich
11.19.19 | list is mtv unplugged ranked |
Relinquished
11.19.19 | grabbing popcorn |
zakalwe
11.19.19 | Trust is everything. |
Sinternet
11.19.19 | play it cool, don't be a retard, you're set |
DANcore
11.19.19 | Find a girl who’ll have your children when you want them, and swallow them when you don’t |
Sinternet
11.19.19 | or a guy |
bloc
11.19.19 | Not gonna comment here so it doesn't show up in my discussions forever |
Relinquished
11.19.19 | find a girl with a strong chinternet to spray your children on |
Sinternet
11.19.19 | or a guy |
Relinquished
11.19.19 | aight sint lol you do you |
Relinquished
11.19.19 | or a guy
whatever floats your chin |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.19.19 | bloc [2] |
madrigal30
11.19.19 | bloc [3] |
DANcore
11.19.19 | Happy no nut november, boys. Been out for a solid two weeks now.. |
Trebor.
11.19.19 | someone needs to posit a situation before advice can be dispensed
|
madrigal30
11.20.19 | ok then. uhh i am in this self destructive loop where i want gf but am not mentally in a place for gf but the reason im not mentally there is that i have no gf |
unclereich
11.20.19 | My advice would be to not get into a relationship until you have a great relationship with yourself |
unclereich
11.20.19 | Today my ex of four years texted me for the first time in a year. I have no idea what to do ama |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.20.19 | ^one of the more worthwhile pieces of advice applicable to pretty much anyone ever [the first comment, that is lol] |
HoopyFrood
11.20.19 | ask if she likes rush. if she doesn't then she's probably pikazilla tryna catfish you so don't do it! |
Deathconscious
11.20.19 | "the reason im not mentally there is that i have no gf"
Nah, its not. |
Deathconscious
11.20.19 | "My advice would to not get into a relationship until you have a great relationship with yourself"
Probably the best advice that will be given in here. Cant stand the "somebody else will save me!" mentality. |
deathofasalesman
11.20.19 | @reich: I have an ex I haven't talked to in 4 years, and I can't imagine what that would feel like. Did you guys end on good/bad terms? |
oltnabrick
11.20.19 | just block her an move on
women are demons |
Frippertronics
11.20.19 | first and foremost, do not, under any circumstance, piss on your SO |
unclereich
11.20.19 | We ended in good terms in the sense that it wasnt over a fight or cheating but it was hastily done and no closure was ever had. We were together off and on for 4 years we stopped dating last October. Very weird situation. I dont care about dating her again tho i would like to have my best friend back in some form |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.20.19 | text her back then bruh and tell her exactly that if the appropriate moment presents itself
|
Deathconscious
11.20.19 | @fripp too bad andcas didnt get the memo. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.20.19 | some people like being pissed on u kink shaming vanilla lattes |
Deathconscious
11.20.19 | Dont piss on anyone without their consent, there, are you happy you piss loving weirdo? |
Frippertronics
11.20.19 | at least stay hydrated if you're gonna do it |
Tyler.
11.20.19 | what do u do if u have a crush on youre mo,m |
Deathconscious
11.20.19 | First you must fuck your dad to establish dominance. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.20.19 | Agreed |
ArsMoriendi
11.20.19 | If they want sex on the first date, they’re not looking for anything long term.
All I got 🤷♂️ |
oltnabrick
11.20.19 | youre gay
thats all gay people want |
loulou
11.20.19 | Follow your instincts |
ramon.
11.20.19 | follow your libido |
unclereich
11.20.19 | Hahahahaaha fucking brick |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | don’t hit her up |
unclereich
11.20.19 | 2 late unfortunately |
bloc
11.20.19 | Sucker |
madrigal30
11.20.19 | well what r ya lookin 4 uncle |
unclereich
11.20.19 | good question |
unclereich
11.20.19 | I don't know |
RadioSuicide
11.20.19 | My ex of 3 years has been seeing a guy since a month after we split up (roughly 5 months ago) because she's painfully codependent and needs validation from whoever will give it to her. We ended things on good-ish terms, so we continued to talk and occasionally hang out, but it always ended up getting intimate, so we stopped talking for awhile. The last couple weeks she has been calling me, sexting me, sending nudes, flirting, the whole nine. She came over to my house a week ago and I ended up eating her out until she got off, but she drew the line at having sex because that was "too far" and "actually cheating"... lol. She's since tossed that out the window. We agreed to hang out this Friday, specifically to fuck, and I'm fairly certain it's a bad move for a number of reasons, the main one being I'll still be the one alone afterwards. I (miraculously) haven't jerked off for the last 18 days so I'm actually kind of dying in that department too. Should I fuck and ultimatum her afterwards? should I protect both of our feelings and just grow up? should I keep playing along with the charade until the wheels fall off? I do love her, and she's an awesome friend outside of the bullshit, but I'm certainly not banking on anything long term, even if that's what I really want. Also I realize this all makes her sound like a hoe, but she's a very broken individual that needs serious help. I don't think she's inherently a cheater, but I'm good at manipulating girls into giving in, especially ones I have a past with. It gives me guilt and I know it's inauthentic, but my ego is insatiable at times. Wat do sputbros |
ArsMoriendi
11.20.19 | "youre gay
thats all gay people want"
Thanks for informing me that I'm gay and what for informing me what I want, I'd be lost without you |
ramon.
11.20.19 | Satiate your ego at the expense of a broken individual ofc, it's not actually cheating unless she fingers your pooper according to my mate's dad |
DinosaurJones
11.20.19 | My ex pretty much ghosted me at the start of this year. She had issues and we were a bad fit, tbh, but I tried to stick it out because 1) I genuinely thought she needed help and I could do it, and 2) I'm a goddamn sucker.
I haven't spoken to her since January or February, but it's all right. I just started going out with someone else (less than a month ago), though I've known her for almost a year. As a side note, I'm 30, and this is only my third relationship, so uh... shit takes awhile, I guess?
Also, my advice to you, Radio, is don't do it. You seem very well aware of your situation, and uhhhh... your ego isn't the most important thing? Especially because it sounds like it's gonna end badly. Unless you don't care about that and just want to fuck. If that's the case, then go ahead. |
Deathconscious
11.20.19 | "so we continued to talk and occasionally hang out"
Big no no, youre setting yourself up for more fuckery.
"should I protect both of our feelings and just grow up?"
Yes. You already know the answers. But if you have to ask youre probably gonna do what you want to do rather than what you should do anyways. I had to learn the hard way too. |
RadioSuicide
11.20.19 | @dino you sound like a fixer too. I've always had a penchant for attracting broken wings. My therapist says I'm doomed to be attracted to alcoholics and narcissists for the rest of my life unless I break the cycle. Thanks mom and dad. lol. The truth is you shouldn't have to fix your partner. That's codependent thinking. We gain value from feeling needed, like we're the lifeforce of our partner. It distracts us from the things we need to fix in our own lives.
In any case, I think I'd rather lay it all out on the table for her. She can stay or go, but being the other guy is lame. still might hit because I honestly don't think I'll ever get a better piece of ass *shrug* |
RadioSuicide
11.20.19 | well put death. We are fueled by very primal instincts. My logical brain knows every right step to take, but my brain also craves the dopamine hit. In truth, I'm a sex addict, something I told my ex the very first night after way too many drinks. I'd never admitted that to anyone. She is also a nymph, and enabled the mirror part in me for 3 years in every way, shape, and form. Now it's almost like I have no control when the offer is there. But once again, as you said, I know I do. |
loveisamixtape
11.20.19 | daddy goals |
Sharkattack
11.20.19 | I regret making this comment |
MELONADE13
11.20.19 | ah relationships
I'll probably never be able to engage in 1 again due to past relationship trauma lol |
unclereich
11.20.19 | radio you've got to get out of that asap while you still have sanity and most importantly your life. ive done that same thing-for 2 years in fact- and when the wheels fell off so too did my life. you may not think you're dependent on her but dude you're digging yourself into a deep hole
|
unclereich
11.20.19 | I'll probably never be able to engage in 1 again due to past relationship trauma lol
123 |
benkim
11.20.19 | Might sound counter intuitive but you are the one responsible for your happiness and having needs being met inyour relationship. Not your partner. |
benkim
11.20.19 | Any other thing and you'll meet disaster soon enough due to resentment. You're the most important person in your relationship |
unclereich
11.20.19 | exactly @ben I learned that the lesson the hard way, it was reinforced even more after my reading of D.H. Lawrence's The Rainbow. it's an unfortunate and unsavory lesson we all must come to |
Sharkattack
11.20.19 | Radio just bang other people and forget about her over a long alcoholic period of time problem solved |
IntriguingSergei
11.20.19 | Love is a mirror and you're the only real human in the picture. Accept no substitutes. To hell with Huel. |
RadioSuicide
11.20.19 | Damn. No one wants to let a loved one go, but I think that's what I have to do now. Someone else out there will fuck with me and it'll be worth the long road.
Thank you for the shared experiences fellas, this has been surprisingly productive |
RadioSuicide
11.20.19 | I'm gonna go love myself now or somethin |
fogza
11.20.19 | I dunno why but the offspring's self-esteem popped into my head reading this. Not a good thing when Dexter sounds wise. |
benkim
11.20.19 | @uncle I also learnt that the hard way. Almost ruined my relationship and had to go through therapy |
DinosaurJones
11.20.19 | Agreed with everyone saying you have to take care of yourself first. It's hard when you have the personality of a fixer. It's even harder when the person is troubled, and tells you things like you're the only one that makes them happy, or things along those lines. Because what happens then is you're held hostage by that fact, that you're the ONLY one that helps them, which whether or not it's true, is unfair. |
bloc
11.20.19 | "My ex pretty much ghosted me at the start of this year. She had issues and we were a bad fit, tbh, but I tried to stick it out because 1) I genuinely thought she needed help and I could do it, and 2) I'm a goddamn sucker."
We've all been there son. Similar thing happened to me in 2013-2014. |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | I haven't been there |
bloc
11.20.19 | Ok Mr. Perfect Life no one asked you |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | it was easy to sniff out fixer-uppers, I had no time for em |
bloc
11.20.19 | Damn I wish I had your nose when I was kid. You can keep the hair though. |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | lmao, but yea man I already had drama and trauma to deal with back home. flaky, wishy-washy, projecting, vague girls were a waste of time. granted they weren't mature or well-developed mentally but that wasn't my problem. |
madrigal30
11.20.19 | wish i didn't LOVE trying to fix people |
Intothepit
11.20.19 | I just find the most damaged woman I can. It's more fun that way. |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | oh they are fun
I just don't spend more than 2-3 months with them. my wallet would start to hurt. |
Intothepit
11.20.19 | I don't spend money on them. I just promise I'm going to until they realize that I'm not dropping a dime on their ass. |
madrigal30
11.20.19 | it's murder on the mental health |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | that's where the fun lies
in the suffering
such is love |
bloc
11.20.19 | lol you guys are terrible |
garas
11.20.19 | Oh boy, I didn't except this thread to be this deep... |
Relinquished
11.20.19 | can’t keep em around if you can’t get in DEEEEP |
bloc
11.20.19 | Find em, fuck em, and flee |
DinosaurJones
11.20.19 | I rather like the idea of a healthy relationship. The current one is going fine so far. |
unclereich
11.20.19 | Ok Mr. Perfect Life no one asked you
123 |
benkim
11.21.19 | We're very very much socialised to be fixers |
Deathconscious
11.21.19 | People who want to fix others seem to need a lot of fixing themselves. |
benkim
11.21.19 | That is also true |
unclereich
11.21.19 | Ive never been interested in fixing anyone but I certainly have dated those who need fixing |
madrigal30
11.21.19 | i'm nothing if not self aware of my own faults, and it's currently why i'm sing;e. i want to fix myself but idek where to start |
Relinquished
11.21.19 | by taking the first steps |
madrigal30
11.21.19 | thing is-- i'm in great physical shape, i'm heading out of senior year soon and into college, and i have every reason to be happy. idk what the problem is or even where to address it, so i can begin putting others first healthily |
Relinquished
11.21.19 | oh dude you're starting off, you're fine. stay consistent to your things - working out, good diet, sleep, stress *smartly* in college cuz that won't go away - fortifying good habits consistently is the key. |
madrigal30
11.21.19 | thanks man. tbh i know most of this fuckin angst or whatever you wanna call it will go away once i get out of this backwater fucking suburb but it feels suffocating sometimes yk |
Demon of the Fall
11.21.19 | 'My advice would be to not get into a relationship until you have a great relationship with yourself'
It's been said before, but yeah this really is excellent advice. Some people jump from relationship to relationship looking for someone to fix their problems, when in reality they're better off starting with themselves. Others like to be the 'fixer' in a misguided attempt at giving their life meaning, or something idk. I know a guy like this.
'If they want sex on the first date, they’re not looking for anything long term.'
I mean, this doesn't have to be an absolute either/or type situation necessarily, what if you're getting on like a house on fire and it just happens? Some people might try and 'seal the deal', or strike while the iron is hot (if you prefer). This is in no way based on any real life situation, definitely not, honest. |
madrigal30
11.21.19 | ^^ agreed |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.21.19 | 'If they want sex on the first date, they’re not looking for anything long term.'
I don't disagree with this, but also it doesn't necessarily it won't develop into something more lasting |
Relinquished
11.21.19 | @madrigal: yea I know very well. long story short, I moved to another country cuz my wife and I were young and had a way out that we chose after due consideration. but I fly back often back to that neighborhood & I see how things changed for the better and how the circumstances of my thoughts - my anxieties, anguish, dread - were gonna change no matter what with maturity that I would've gained anyway if I stayed. but my experiences and I wouldn't had been the same. that's where you alone will steer yourself towards the unknown that is your FATE. |
unclereich
11.21.19 | you guys ever remember something horrible an ex did to you that you suppressed? I woke up laughing last night because I remember when my very first gf(we were together about 2 years) drove off with her driver side door open and me in it talking her down from hurting herself. I got sucked under the door and my feet got run over. good times |
unclereich
11.21.19 | ive been told I don't listen well by gfs since her and I think in large part it is due to her and her blowing her superficial problems out of proportion(typical sociopathic behavior). I guess sometimes I try to give advice when I should shut up or tune out when I think your are making a small problem into something bigger than it should be |
unclereich
11.21.19 | thus is why I haven't dated in over a year I not only am trying to figure out my own issues and get into a better relationship with me but I also know I just don't care about others at this point |
Relinquished
11.21.19 | nuance is a bitch and so is your ex
sometimes you gotta validate the molehill, but yea these days where all kinds of weirdness are accepted, people who are 'quirky' are a few steps away from sociopathic tendencies. |
bloc
11.21.19 | "you guys ever remember something horrible an ex did to you that you suppressed? I woke up laughing last night because I remember when my very first gf(we were together about 2 years) drove off with her driver side door open and me in it talking her down from hurting herself. I got sucked under the door and my feet got run over. good times"
Sir you have seen action action in your life that I do not envy |
unclereich
11.21.19 | Dont mean to bring on the pity party i just had a weird experience last night with my ex texting me and having a dream about a different ex. Im one of those saps who stayed in a physically and mentally abusive relationship too long |
unclereich
11.21.19 | Then i found a new gf my most recent ex who i miss greatly who had more trauma in her life than anyone ive ever met and i guess that eventually led to our downfall. Trauma is just fucked and i want to hug everyone |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.21.19 | I feel you - some people are impossible to hold and end up bringing you down regardless of intentions either side. Sucks that you have to deal with that second hand, but it's a what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you-stronger deal; from your (slightly) earlier comments it sounds like you've tried to close yourself off to those feelings and other people, which figures, but it's always worth processing that shit; you'll come out of it a happier and more intuitive person, and no shame if you can't do it alone |
unclereich
11.21.19 | well said Johnny you always have a great knack for advice |
unclereich
11.21.19 | I try hard not to shut others out but I also don't care to bother people with some of the silly things I have endured |
DinosaurJones
11.21.19 | It should be said, I went to therapy because of my ex. I didn't go for long, just a few months, but I really needed to talk that shit out with someone, and it really helped me. If I could afford it, I'd honestly probably still go, but that relationship fucked me up for awhile, and was the tipping point where I just thought "OKAY, LET'S JUST DO THIS SHIT" |
unclereich
11.21.19 | for some reason the idea of therapy has always sound good to me but I have never got around to it nor do I think I ever will. ive been close but have always talked myself out of it. I have had that same moment tho but I usually end up hitting up a family member for advice lol. thank you for sharing Dino |
Relinquished
11.21.19 | "I try hard not to shut others out but I also don't care to bother people with some of the silly things I have endured"
I don't know your life, but it definitely took me time open myself from past trauma. I bottled myself up, put walls up. tried drowning at sea at 17, I stopped caring and stopped considering others care. long story short, I was proven wrong after. took me a few years to work on self-love and appreciating a level of self-importance for my own life. as long as you work on yourself, as long as you experience life, as long as you feel the right time and the right people to open up to, it'll all make such a difference in the long run. I've been surprised over the years on how many people will take affection to you and don't mind lending an ear or shoulder for "silly things". my "silly things" were killing me. |
unclereich
11.21.19 | yea im usually an open book I would say I am more reserved now. my self care has increased tenfold over the last year, still not quite where I need to be but very close. as far as my sharing I think being too much of an open book has hurt me, I certainly know what it's like to be too shutoff and try not to do that. I am actually finding a lot of liberation in keeping things to myself and working on them myself in order to better my overall persona. |
unclereich
11.21.19 | for instance if I am sad I will open up about it but when it comes to telling people about past trauma I feel the need to continue to work on it and reconcile it with myself before I really want to discuss it with others. that and I don't find the need to |
Relinquished
11.21.19 | As it should be |
Intothepit
11.22.19 | Remember, if you do it in the butt, she can't get pregnant. |
DinosaurJones
11.22.19 | Sound advice. |
Relinquished
11.22.19 | I never tried sounding but you do you dinojones |
DinosaurJones
11.22.19 | You do you
I'll do me.
We won't do each other.
...probably. |
bloc
11.22.19 | She Fook Mi
I Fook Yu |
unclereich
12.20.19 | hey guys |
madrigal30
12.20.19 | yo, sup uncle? |
Deathconscious
12.20.19 | "Remember, if you do it in the butt, she can't get pregnant."
Unless you cum so much that you fill up her colon and it overflows and seeps into her pussy. |
Intothepit
12.21.19 | The quickest way to a women's heart is through her guts |
unclereich
03.13.20 | im gay now |
madrigal30
03.13.20 | like 30% same |
DinosaurJones
03.13.20 | Oh, I got dumped right after Christmas. We tried to stay friends, but she decided she didn't want to talk to me anymore last month. Which means she probably found someone else. |
madrigal30
03.13.20 | hmm that's odd, shouldn't stop you two from talking. did something happen? |
bloc
03.13.20 | Imo, the concept of "still being friends" after ending a romantic relationship is Hollywood bs |
DinosaurJones
03.13.20 | I kind of agree, bloc, but the idealist in me wants to believe it can work.
madrigal, I have no idea. Everything seemed to be going okay, we had made plans to hang out after I got back from California, but then she stopped responding to my messages, and then hit me with "I don't think we should talk anymore." So...... no clue. Oh, well. It was kind of a catalyst for me to get my shit together a bit. |
madrigal30
03.13.20 | strange. sounds like she wasnt worth being friends with.... |
DinosaurJones
03.13.20 | Likely. That's how I'm trying to look at it to keep from getting too down on myself over it. |
NorthernSkylark
03.13.20 | two years ago a close friend of mine texted me that she no longer wanted to see me again and she wouldn't even give me a reason, so not much in the closure department. It was completely out of the blue for me. She ghosted me and I eventually let her do it, not wanting to push her further away. I couldn't imagine a world without her in my life and it took me a little over a year to realize and accept that it was for over and that it was for the better, that the way she treated me was a shitty selfpreserving thing to do, mostly the way she handled it all. The only thing i respect about her now is the personal decision she made. I felt like shit because of it, i felt like a cockroach. I couldn't handle it, got real depressive and started drinking a hella lot, pining and wallowing in selfpity. Always makes me think of that Arthur Russell song: I couldn't say it to your face, but I won't be around anymore.
Well, I basically broke down one evening and cried for a couple hours, mourning what had been between us, what was no longer there and what could no longer be, and that was my own personal closure. I slept very well that night. I got better. I stopped drinking soon after and got treatment for my depression. I still miss how I felt about her and vice versa, and i sometimes find myself hoping she's doing good, but I no longer want her in my life. RIP relationship. sorry if that was a bit much, guess i needed to vent. |
DinosaurJones
03.13.20 | Damn, man. I hope you were able to come to that conclusion quickly and didn't spend too much time lamenting over it. I got over it pretty quickly, at least for me. I'm surprised I don't feel worse about it than I do, but I think I'm just sick of being miserable, and it's not like I can change anything about it, so I just accepted it and have (mostly) moved on. |
unclereich
03.15.20 | "I couldn't imagine a world without her in my life"
I think a lot of dudes have an issue with this right here. there's an old quote from dh lawrence's the rainbow in which a male character says to his wife "you are the arch to my flood". in my experience people don't want you to put them in such high esteem. you should be your own arch. you should be your own world. not saying we shouldn't value our significant others but making them your world is setting yourself up for trouble. you both should exist on two separate planes as you are two separate beings. choose to share moments with one another but do not make that other a part of you they are their own person and so are you. relationships are not 50/50, they are in a constant flux of varying percentages.
thank you for sharing your story btw. I lost my best friend/significant other about a year and a half ago to similar circumstances, and oh boy did it suck for a long time. in some ways it will always hurt but it's definitely a good life lesson type of hurt |
unclereich
04.16.20 | how's everyone's relationships doing during these trying times? anyone want to kill their SO like me rn |
Intothepit
04.17.20 | Didn't know a jar of mayo could be referred to as "SO" until now... |
DinosaurJones
04.17.20 | I have no relationship right now. But that's okay. |
Storm In A Teacup
04.17.20 | My wife has been hiding at her parents for almost four weeks. It's been the bachelor life but I also secretly have been making improvements to the home and deep cleaning so this way when she comes back she will immediately take her clothes off and tell me to fuck her. Probably would happen regardless but these are uncertain times. |
unclereich
12.10.20 | breaking up with someone fucking sucks so bad. it's a dual edged sword, if you want to break up with them, staying with them for any extra time is immature and unfair to the other party. though the actual breaking up makes that person sad af and its super hard to know how to go about saying/doing it |
porcupinetheater
12.10.20 | Damn my mate's pulling some major bullshit on that right now, wants to break up with his partner, so wound up signing a lease with her instead. Fucking shit's going to be cataclysmic 'cause he's can't be honest and face that tough conversation. If you feel like you want to break up, waiting probably ain't going to make anything better. Owe it to yourself and your partner
You just initiate a break-up, Uncle? |
unclereich
12.10.20 | strangely enough you're not the first person to tell me a story about someone they know signing a lease with an SO they don't wanna be with. i cant imagine a worse situation lol. and yes covid has made me complacent and really want someone around and it's so damn mean to do that, but they are so nice i am fucking broken inside at the idea of hurting them this badly. i dont think they have any idea tbh |
porcupinetheater
12.10.20 | Yeah, Man, the social isolation from Covid adds an extra layer, can't even begin to imagine trying to process that. Still think ultimately it's better to be honest and up front, but I can't presume to know their situation or what it would like post break-up. Like, If they still have a present and accessible support system, still think it's probably better to be up front with it, but can't presume to know anything like that. I'm sorry you're in this position. Shit ain't easy, and there isn't a good answer. Hearts to you, and feel free to throw Sput censored asterisks in my shoutbox if you need |
