Papa's Worst of 2018
I'm right on time as always and I naively don't expect to suddenly hear anything worthy of entering the list at this point. |
| 81 |  | Greyhaven
Empty Black
late entries to be entered here: |
| 80 | | Greyhaven
Empty Black
emotional likeness: the best of the overrated messes |
| 79 |  | Bay Faction
Florida Guilt
emotional likeness: the draft demo compilation of the year |
| 78 |  | Sigh
Heir to Despair
emotional likeness: *sigh* *cough* |
| 77 |  | Pinegrove
Skylight
emotional likeness: the kings of the boring part of your hipster emo friend's favourite "aah how can you not know this band?" |
| 76 |  | Vox Low
Vox Low
emotional likeness: another one of those dark-synth, drown-voiced, dull-song-writing butchers of the good (or moderately acceptable) name of darkwave |
| 75 |  | The Amity Affliction
Misery
emotional likeness: your producer has a bipolar disorder, probably, cause the music cannot decide, whether it's a mediocre pop bore or a mediocre metalcore bore. |
| 74 |  | Liars
Titles With The Word Fountain
emotional likeness: it's always cool to have bands release their demos… until you realise that it is a finished product |
| 73 |  | Dimmu Borgir
Eonian
emotional likeness: being caught in the crossfire of mormons and catholics, both of which want to fight each other to death over the right to ask you about Jesus. |
| 72 |  | Black Moth Super Rainbow
Panic Blooms
emotional likeness: the fall from grace |
| 71 |  | Mastersystem
Dance Music
emotional likeness: combining tedious song-writing with some off-putting instrumentation and passing it off as innovation or something. (shame that this is the last thing we'll hear from Scott Hutchison) |
| 70 |  | Manic Street Preachers
Resistance Is Futile
emotional likeness: I imagine a few folk here absolutely delighted in hating this album (Doof?) |
| 69 |  | Interpol
Marauder
emotional likeness: the flatness in the production really hurt my ears |
| 68 |  | Forage and Wander
Time Well Spent
emotional likeness: extensive whining |
| 67 |  | Loma
Loma
emotional likeness: nothing much to see here, just forgettable |
| 66 |  | Flasher
Constant Image
emotional likeness: water |
| 65 |  | Suuns
Felt
emotional likeness: all artsy flare and no substance makes Johnny a dull album |
| 64 |  | Givers
Movin On
emotional likeness: the non-mainstream mainstream pop |
| 63 |  | Between the Buried and Me
Automata I
emotional likeness: it's good to have a maths degree, you can do music with it, apparently. |
| 62 |  | Car Seat Headrest
Twin Fantasy (Face to Face)
emotional likeness: a hipster loves recycling so much, he does it to his music even |
| 61 |  | Unknown Mortal Orchestra
Sex and Food
emotional likeness: bore and snore |
| 60 |  | Mount Eerie
Now Only
emotional likeness: cancer is a bitch, losing a loved one is a bitch, being able to play music is apparently also a bitch |
| 59 |  | Bongripper
Terminal
emotional likeness: oh look, it's the heaviness that barely goes anywhere other than heaviness. (but at least the heaviness is nice) |
| 58 |  | Molchat Doma
Etazhi
emotional likeness: Russian emo darkwave phase |
| 57 |  | Sleep
The Sciences
emotional likeness: do you have to be stoned beforehand? |
| 56 |  | Thou
The House Primordial
emotional likeness: earache |
| 55 |  | Alice in Chains
Rainier Fog
emotional likeness: the band that died with their original frontman is now deader than ever. |
| 54 |  | Sinistro
Sangue Cassia
emotional likeness: overlong overbearing overboredom |
| 53 |  | Real Friends
Composure
emotional likeness: a notch above their usual level of dullness and uninspired messiness, so maybe next time we'll get a half-decent album |
| 52 |  | Shields
Life In Exile
emotional likeness: *explodes in the epicness* *reassembles, beacuse he immediately forgot what he just heard* |
| 51 |  | of Montreal
White Is Relic/Irrealis Mood
emotional likeness: what does 'obnoxious music' stand for? … oh, alright |
| 50 |  | Slaughterhouse (CA, USA)
Slaughterhouse
emotional likeness: one of those outputs that are so lo-fi that it makes you wonder, had it had a listenable production, would it have actually been good… |
| 49 |  | Sophie
Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides
emotional likeness: oh I get it now. and I only needed to cut off my dick and wear celophane as a dress, pretending it better exemplifies my "personality" |
| 48 |  | Kacey Musgraves
Golden Hour
emotional likeness: some forgettable overrated bore 2018 |
| 47 |  | Peace
Kindness Is The New Rock And Roll
emotional likeness: an album that is the opposite of kindness, because it annoys you so much, preaches about rock and roll, which it has nothing to do with. |
| 46 |  | TesseracT
Sonder
emotional likeness: man, computer generated metal has really come a long way. |
| 45 |  | Yo La Tengo
There’s A Riot Going On
emotional likeness: still trying to ride off of that brief 1990s indie pre-britpop craze |
| 44 |  | The Kooks
Let's Go Sunshine
emotional likeness: still trying to ride off of that brief 2000s indie post-britpop craze |
| 43 |  | Lykke Li
So Sad So Sexy
emotional likeness: nah, just sad |
| 42 |  | Janelle Monae
Dirty Computer
emotional likeness: those people that tell you how much they love sex, but when it comes to it, they just lay there like "do the sex with me, human person" |
| 41 |  | Mark Kozelek
Mark Kozelek
emotional likeness: who actually thinks this guy has any musical talent? |
| 40 |  | Sun Kil Moon
This Is My Dinner
emotional likeness: oh, there are many people actually think this guy has a talent? okay… |
| 39 |  | Vulcain
Vinyle
emotional likeness: that thing your dad thinks is old |
| 38 |  | Echo and The Bunnymen
The Stars, The Oceans and The Moon
emotional likeness: at least they were really good live |
| 37 |  | Kanye West
ye
emotional likeness: yew |
| 36 |  | Jack White
Boarding House Reach
emotional likeness: Webster Dictionary defines 'bloated' as this fucking thing. |
| 35 |  | State Champs
Living Proof
emotional likeness: it's moldy cheese, but not the good edible mold |
| 34 |  | Blessthefall
Hard Feelings
emotional likeness: very in-the-moment, musically and thematically… said no one ever. |
| 33 |  | Imagine Dragons
Origins
emotional likeness: does anyone have any idea as to when and how and why they ever got big? |
| 32 |  | Mayday Parade
Sunnyland
emotional likeness: 3 Doors Down called. They're not mad you sound just like them, they just complained that nobody cares about them either. |
| 31 |  | Family Fodder
Easy Listening (Not)
emotional likeness: well, they did say it was not an easy listening |
| 30 |  | Math and Physics Club
Lived Here Before
emotional likeness: I can't really explain what made me dislike this album so much, but every time I try to put it back on, I just immediately fall asleep, so here's to the ultimate dull folk-pop album of the year. |
| 29 |  | Trophy Eyes
The American Dream
emotional likeness: a fall from grace so hard that it makes you question, whether there's been any grace to begin with |
| 28 |  | Deaf Havana
Rituals
emotional likeness: when you apply emo song-writing on a pop-rock album devoid of any rock whatsoever |
| 27 |  | Half Japanese
Why Not?
emotional likeness: Car Seat Headrest, 20 years later |
| 26 |  | Exek
Ahead of Two Thoughts
emotional likeness: weird for the sake of being weird |
| 25 |  | A Perfect Circle
Eat the Elephant
emotional likeness: a disgraceful return for a far from graceful band |
| 24 |  | Three Days Grace
Outsider
emotional likeness: copy and paste what I said about Mayday Parade, but with the exception that someone actually still listens to this band… somehow. It's also universally disliked. |
| 23 |  | Riverside
Wasteland
emotional likeness: the very process of becoming a eunuch |
| 22 |  | Cardi B
Invasion Of Privacy
emotional likeness: I first heard of her, when I some publication (the Pitchforks of the world) said that she was the biggest thing that year and it was impossible to not have heard of her… yeah. |
| 21 |  | Titus Andronicus
A Productive Cough
emotional likeness: a cough is a cough, no matter how productive |
| 20 |  | Breaking Benjamin
Ember
emotional likeness: this is like watching a mediocre blockbuster movie that is destined to bomb at the box office suddenly trying to convince you it has an important message to spread. |
| 19 |  | Lebanon Hanover
Let Them Be Alien
emotional likeness: turns out if you have low voice, sexually ambiguous preferences and half-decent synthesiser skill, you can pretend to be a darkwave post-punk act nowadays |
| 18 |  | Bladee
Icedancer
emotional likeness: first pubes growing: the album |
| 17 |  | Ministry
AmeriKKKant
emotional likeness: NPC#44557-C: "Orange man bad" |
| 16 |  | Stone Temple Pilots
Stone Temple Pilots (2018)
emotional likeness: just a healthy reminder that this band has never been good. |
| 15 |  | Miles Kane
Coup de Grace
emotional likeness: there's no real snarky comment here, it's just outrageously boring and tasteless |
| 14 |  | The Weeknd
My Dear Melancholy,
emotional likeness: obnoxious prick |
| 13 |  | Panic! at the Disco
Pray For The Wicked
emotional likeness: obnoxious prick(s) |
| 12 |  | Hoobastank
Push Pull
emotional likeness: just realised this thing came out this year. Man, completely forgot this band exists even. |
| 11 |  | The Mowgli's
I Was Starting to Wonder
emotional likeness: the exemplification of 'washed out pop' |
| 10 |  | Thirty Seconds to Mars
America
emotional likeness: oh hey, I suddenly believe the people who say that America is a dumpsterfire |
| 9 |  | Titus Andronicus
Home Alone on Halloween
emotional likeness: proof that The Monitor was the worst thing that ever happened to this band. It did to them what Nirvana did to alternative rock: became a symbol of greatness and literally murdered everything else to follow it. |
| 8 |  | Godsmack
When Legends Rise
emotional likeness: the early 00s called, they want their laughing stock back |
| 7 |  | Against The Current
Past Lives
emotional likeness: along the current, but, y'know, right in the middle, where you're drowned out by all the other stuff you copied |
| 6 |  | Fall Out Boy
M A N I A
emotional likeness: humpty bloaty had a great fall out boy |
| 5 |  | Disturbed
Evolution
emotional likeness: evolution is bullshit, it's all artificial design, but as it appears from this album… it's all devil. |
| 4 |  | Gang of Four
Complicit
emotional likeness: "we could have released like three classic LPs and an EP to top it off and leave as legends, but we decided to stick around for fucking ever" - the band |
| 3 |  | Poppy
Am I a Girl?
emotional likeness: computer-generated focus-grouped nonsense |
| 2 |  | Bladee
Redlight
emotional likeness: first pubes removal: the album |
| 1 |  | Kero Kero Bonito
TOTEP
emotional likeness: Bar Sachiko (and I refuse to listen to that full-length of theirs) |
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