BookoftheFallen
11.26.17 | still a virgin like most on here |
SCREAM!
11.26.17 | Was taking forever to finish due to being so nervous about it. Was her first time too so the pain she was in from losing her virginity + the fact that neither of us knew what we were doing probably didn't help. Wasn't able to finish cause we heard her parents get home and had to interrupt and get dressed blahblahblah
Crazy to think that was almost 11 years ago now though |
wwf
11.26.17 | Was super timid about it at first but she came so good job everybody |
Koris
11.26.17 | In my car when I was 18, after seeing The Great Gatsby together. Car was small, and it was hard to maneuver around. Also, my car got smashed by a deer an hour later. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | was cool, didn't cry |
wwf
11.26.17 | Pretty sure scream remembers it better than I do and it was like two years ago for me lmao |
teamster
11.26.17 | My basement, mom upstairs, we were both 15. Young and stupid. No protection. I barely got the tip in, it was all over. Lasted seconds. Monumental. |
TheSonomaDude
11.26.17 | my uncle |
brainmelter
11.26.17 | I was hella drunk and I was going at it for 2 hours and I just couldn't cum |
SandwichBubble
11.26.17 | 30-Year-Old Male Virgin Wizard |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | King Gizzard and the Virgin Wizard
(this joke would have been more fun if it were at kingdedethefifth's expense) |
SandwichBubble
11.26.17 | Who'll be my King Gizzard, hands up |
Sinternet
11.26.17 | i was 16, horny and hella awkward
she was 16, horny and hella awkward
we fucked in a field because we were scared of our parents finding out
i got mud on my dick but it was alright |
Sinternet
11.26.17 | and by mud i mean |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | Mom upstairs. |
brainmelter
11.26.17 | damn sin, you should have told her to at least clean her aNUs. but it's fitting you were in a field for such an act |
brainmelter
11.26.17 | probably in da cornfield |
Sinternet
11.26.17 | i like it u̧̝̰̘̝̐ͩͭn̝̱͚͚̲̝̩̰̎̋̾̀ͅc͍ͭļ̶͚̺͕̮̤͉͉̋͐e͊̉͏͚̭͕́ȁ̴̪̍n̵̗̝̝̫̾̀͑̈ͭ͡ |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | my first time was pretty precious and wholesome. me and my first gf took each others virginity in high school. it was good. |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | Fucked a good friend of mine, went over to her house got really drunk and banged for like 3 hours. Then we remained close friends and still fuck each other once in awhile when we're both single. Its a nice setup i have here. None of that awkward "i think im falling for you" bullshit. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | you were drunk, so your 3 hours were about 3 minutes with multiple uncomfortable positions. |
neekafat
11.26.17 | Lucky I did it with a girl I had been dating for a long time so she was sure she was ready, wasn't a lot of pressure involved aside form the usual nervousness about hurting her
1st time sucked, 2nd time was great |
neekafat
11.26.17 | @Adolf that sounds pretty fucking solid tbh, I'm a bit jealous |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | things escalated from just kissing to the full thing in a few seconds cos she randomly just pinned me down and started going at it. I really didn't have much clue what was going on for a while cos it was so unexpected. |
neekafat
11.26.17 | Sounds non-consentual Blackwater |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | Summer 1997. I was was 17 and although I’d had girlfriends I was fucking useless and hadn’t got me leg over.
I was at a House party, lots of drink. Ended up copping off with a 43yr old friend of my mums. She wasn’t half bad looking.
Good times.
|
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | @neeka
No I was pretty bloody happy with what was happening, would have said if I was uncomfortable |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | "you were drunk, so your 3 hours were about 3 minutes with multiple uncomfortable positions."
Its actually because i was drunk that i was able to last that long. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | keep telling yourself, stud |
neekafat
11.26.17 | @zak of course that's how your first time went lol
@Blackwater well I certainly wouldn't be complaining in your position too
I probably would've been happy if I was a bit younger but 18 is nothing to really sneeze at |
Deez
11.26.17 | I honestly cant remember. So many half in moments that I dont know when the official was. |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | Unique is the angry virgin itt. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | i'm taking the burden of that role upon myself, so that others don't have to. i'm a hero in disguise |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | I was 16 but was expecting to be about 20 when I actually lost it |
DarkTyler
11.26.17 | never had sex |
AlexKzillion
11.26.17 | still got that vcard/// was about to lose it last night in my truck but then the bish was like "what if this ruins our friendship?" -_- |
TheSpaceMan
11.26.17 | cried for months after because i felt like a slut |
hal1ax
11.26.17 | think i was 17 and had to stop after like 5min so i could go throw up. had drank way too much..
then came back to bed and immediately passed out
'twas disastrous |
Deez
11.26.17 | 'had to stop after like 5min so i could go throw up'
Ive no doubt thats what most of the girls ive slept with say |
hal1ax
11.26.17 | haha |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | Lmao |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | Lol |
matbla00
11.26.17 | not sure if that's true but still funny lol |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | "Its actually because i was drunk that i was able to last that long.
UniqueUniverse
11.26.17
[Report this Post] keep telling yourself, stud"
have you literally ever gotten tanked and fucked? |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | behind the church's ambo, Sunday, 9pm, Father Francis.. gentle but firm.. |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | Your chemical messages travel slower across your synapses when you consume considerable amounts of alcohol, so you'll find it does take quite a while to get it done |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | I never got drunk, so that's probably where the scepticism comes from. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | unique like 50 summin' and he doesnt even know what 'whiskey dick' is |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | 50 years sober baby |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | Lol |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | its all yall sober cats that bust in 3 seconds |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | my how the tables have turned
|
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | have they? |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | name one recreational drug that makes you cum faster than usual, that doesnt also make you confident that "im going to fuck you approximately 3000 times in the next hour on every surface of the room from floor to ceiling until you cant even walk". |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | E.. |
Nomos
11.26.17 | you may be kidding but I do love a good story time
girl on PlentyOfFish.com messages me
next night we meet at coffee shop
make out in her car
her parents are rich and she lived in a guest house on their property
Watch Momento
Watch Moulin Rouge while she gives BJ
---
cut to 2 days later, been hanging out for 2 days
go to bang, tell her its my first time, she gets nervous that she's gonna ruin it
I don't care, bang, it was fine, she....just laid there
didn't use condom, I luck out and nothing comes of that
three weeks later she stops seeing me for her ex
dodged bullet, moved on no prob, I was 19 and thankful I wasn't a virgin into my 20s
|
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | u cant because ur sober grampy peen like pouring salt on a slug |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | "E.."
nope |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | F.. |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | yep.. tactile, not speed-induced aggro.. |
Demon of the Fall
11.26.17 | Drunk sex is awesome yeah, go at it like a jackhammer. I’ve heard it’s better if you don’t force or encourage drunkenness on your partner, especially if they’re underage... or at least that’s what they said in court. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | G.. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | H.. |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | "u cant because ur sober grampy peen like pouring salt on a slug"
Lmao |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | shrooms work too, if it channels properly.. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | @butch 'e' is just mdma with a fuck mix of speedy bullshit in it. if u can get a boner good luck nutting. so no. e goes in the first category. an example of the second category is ghb. ull both nut like 5000 times in an hour. |
Avagantamos
11.26.17 | 22 years old still no fuck :( |
Deez
11.26.17 | E is the only thing that really works for me but my mind drifts too much ill be dead into it thinking im some rock god porn star then il have a vision of playing with toys as a child with my mum. Makes things pretty awkward. |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | E is certainly a good album by Enslaved... |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | worked for me..
also, there's a plant called barrenwort that is apparently some sort of homeopathic ejaculate steroid.. |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | "then il have a vision of playing with toys as a child with my mum."
I love this thread. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | i think there is some miscommunication here butcher.
none of your examples are drugs that make you prematurely ejaculate. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | unique was saying that alcohol makes you prejac which is empirically false and so i asked him to name a drug that could ever make you prejac without substantially heightening your libido and sex drive. none of those examples you listed meet that specification at all. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | i don't do drugs, so i don't know...
...yeah, i'm always the boring one at the party. the weirdo in the corner with no friends.
never even had as much as a bloody pot puff |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | its all good, u just give me shit all the time so i feel an obligation to return the favour whenever possible. no big |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | really explains some of your music taste tho XD |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | that it is good? yeah, it does. |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | oh!.. i was just listing drugs with which i love to fuck.. or loved in the case of E.. still partake in shrooms on occasion..
|
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | and when did i ever give you shit, pots? |
Sinternet
11.26.17 | wholesome shittalking hell yea |
Avagantamos
11.26.17 | I've only been able to cum once on e/molly and it was a fucking struggle. had to jerk it so hard and I was only semi hard |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | nearly every conversationwe have ever had has either been you trying to rile me up or me trying to rile you up in return. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | damn. well, maybe if your riling was worth a cunthair i'd notice. |
Avagantamos
11.26.17 | shrooms would be fun though, makes skin feel really squishy and stretchy for me |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | (sorry, just had to say it) |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | "oh!.. i was just listing drugs with which i love to fuck.. or loved in the case of E.. still partake in shrooms on occasion.."
yeah word, i thought something seemed off lol.
|
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | Idk where universe's douchebaggery is coming from with me, we've never had any squabbles. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | "damn. well, maybe if your riling was worth a cunthair i'd notice."
even the swampiest ingrown cunthair on a disease infested crackwhoress's broken minge is worth more than your objectively false statements about sex, drugs, and rock and roll so i'll stick with the lady pube thanks. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | hmm. overly conceptual remark as a comeback. nice. game recognise game here. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | *fist bump* |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | Adolf: I am usually nice to people I don't have frequent inteferences with. Besides, I can't give you shit, cause one half of your name is my favourite person associated with the jews, and i can't trashtalk him. |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | *fist bump back* |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | "Besides, I can't give you shit, cause one half of your name is my favourite person associated with the jews, and i can't trashtalk him."
holy fucking shit need to go scream into the toilet this was so epic |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | THE AMBIGUITY |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | JESUS HITLER
ADOLF CHRIST
IS THIS THE SECOND COMING
OR THE FOURTH REICH?? |
Prancer
11.26.17 | Lorde "I made a really long and pretentious thread about how I take meds to help my anxiety that apparently causes me to act like a trifling keyboard warrior so I could pretend like people cared about my status as Sput's favorite superstar" Pots. |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | You should fuck off you fucking fucker |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | fucking fuck you, you fucking fucker |
BMDrummer
11.26.17 | in my car, middle of the maine woods in the fall when i was 17
listened to red house painters afterward and got pizza, it was a dope night |
BlackwaterPork
11.26.17 | Fuck |
Asahi
11.26.17 | Thread now has turned into a drug thread. I'll allow it. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | @prancer congrats you are the first person to belittle me for my mental health issues on the entire site, underneath the veil of an alt. Gold star for being the worst person |
Deez
11.26.17 | I took a girl back to a hostel once and went for a piss but I ended up shitting myself. Luckily it was quite solid. Wed lost our keys so I jumped in through the back and washed my arse in the swimming pool. She was that drunk by the time id opened the door she didnt realise i had totally different clothes on. Nailed her on the sofa. BOOM! but at some point I got like a whiff of shit and remembered I hadnt washed my hands. Im quite the romantic like. |
teamster
11.26.17 | C’mon , all you turds that did for your first time in your teens, sober, scared as hell...lasted more than a couple minutes? I don’t buy it. Well unless you had been doing the five knuckle shuffle since puberty. |
Deez
11.26.17 | Yeah for real Ive Jizzed before it even got in there when I was like 14 or some shit. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | I dont think anybody sayin that im sure i bust in like 2 seconds my first time |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | Lmao deez that story |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | whoa, since when is teamster geting mean? is it the community that poisoned him with its toxicity? |
Deez
11.26.17 | I didnt tell ANYONE till about a week late dude haha |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | I was rockin the five knuckle shuffle before anything even came out |
teamster
11.26.17 | I must be a Wally cleaver ...if you think that’s getting mean UU , lol |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | my one friends first time was with a random chick he picked up from the bar and she bled all over him so he ran to the bathroom to clean up and when he came out his door was wide open and he went out and she was running down the hall with nothing but a towel on with a stack of his shit she was trying to steal and he had to chase her down.
he realized he was gay shortly after |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | damn, snappy remarks too? teamster is sput-maturing |
Deez
11.26.17 | hahahaah I lived in Asia for 4 years had so many chicks steal shit. 2 of them are dead now. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | it truly bring a tear to my eye
proud |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | "had so many chicks steal shit. 2 of them are dead now."
wow this thread is ripe with insidious implications i love it |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | I slept with a bird who went full on lezza shortly after. Can’t blame her tbh. |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.26.17 | lol |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | Butch as fuck |
Deathconscious
11.26.17 | @team I wasnt scared cause she was a close friend of mine and i wasnt sober, so those things worked to my advantage. Otherwise i probably would have been a one pump chump. |
BMDrummer
11.26.17 | @xxx nah i is 18, still with this gal too |
Sinternet
11.26.17 | i realised i was gay when i sucked some guys dick and forgot to say no homo
true story |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | How marvellous. How brave. |
Deez
11.26.17 | Ive tasted like 4 dicks and didnt like any of them |
ArsMoriendi
11.26.17 | Went on a Grindr date. We saw Ex Machina and both liked it a lot so much that we only made out during the scenic transitions, afterwards we went up to my dorm and the rest is history. I only bottomed that night though, so I guess you could count that first time I topped as it's own first time as well
I was 19, so a little late, but not too late |
butcherboy
11.26.17 | "Butch as fuck"
you rang? |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | Having one up the arse after ex-machina. How very Greek. |
Sinternet
11.26.17 | nah the greeks only tolerated you if you were a top because it was dominating and puts he bottom in their place |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | Makes sense. How compassionate. |
zakalwe
11.26.17 | Bummer |
Papa Universe
11.26.17 | rough days |
vialsofwet
11.26.17 | don't remember it aside from the photos my friends took
14 yo me gone blackout off a handful of cruisers fucked an 18 yo girl at a house party
surprised i could get it up in hindsight
i've cum a long way since then |
ImmortalPaper
11.26.17 | we was both 13 and in wholesome love n shit, it was extremely brief bc she was in so much pain but we tried again later and that was pretty fuckin' great
oh and i did use protection cause im not a heckin' dumpass |
Space Jester
11.26.17 | First time was two months ago on my wedding night. It was the last night of her period but she thought it would be over before that night it I was like fuck it I’m not about to pussy out over a little blood, most girls bleed the first time anyway. We ended up moving to the shower to let some of it wash away but it was overall still good despite the blood. Every day after that was blood-free and awesome and we’ve been getting better and better at it as we learn things |
hal1ax
11.26.17 | every drug that affects your endocrine system [hormones] (which most drugs do) will protract ability to orgasm. dopamine / endorphin agonist drugs (opiates / amphetamines / E) especially curb your sensitivity to sex-hormone secretion and also fuck with your libido. |
hal1ax
11.26.17 | then with alcohol / benzo's (at high quantities), which act on GABA receptors, basically they just slow down brain / central nervous system activity to the extent to which your brain is unable to undergo the necessary communicative transduction required to elicit an orgasm |
Prancer
11.26.17 | @pottyman boohoo. I'm not belittling you, but that thread is ridiculous. So you have anxiety and have made bad decisions. I've had similar problems and know several people who have too, you're not special. You apologized to people for saying shitty things but yet I see you starting 'drama' with another user in this thread. I just think it's funny and quite hypocritical. If you think people on the internet are truly out to "rile you up," get over yourself. |
ImmortalPaper
11.26.17 | opiates will also utterly destroy any notion you once had about an orgasm |
hal1ax
11.26.17 | @ immortal - lol pretty much |
Space Jester
11.27.17 | Lordepots isn’t even close to being the most insufferable user on the site and I dunno why people give a shit about how people act on a music forum anyway, seems petty. And UniqueUniverse was definitely the one who started acting like a prick, not pots |
Deathconscious
11.27.17 | Sounds like someone got shat on by pots and is still upset about it. |
teamster
11.27.17 | Adolf - “one pump chump” - dude I am laughing so hard right now!! |
teamster
11.27.17 | Bad choice of words |
Deez
11.27.17 | Prancers definitely a virgin. This thread hurt him. |
RogueNine
11.27.17 | What first time? |
verdant
11.27.17 | amazing thread |
Brabiz
11.27.17 | Blasting Not The American Average by Asking Alexandria. I had no idea how anything worked.
Shit was gross |
onionbubs
11.27.17 | i met him at a show when i was 15 and he tried to solicit nudes from me. he also jacked off to me over skype |
someguest
11.27.17 | the girl pooped
or maybe that was her breath |
Prancer
11.27.17 | The guy never directly bothered me, but I'm on this site enough and I rarely go a week without seeing him bickering with someone over some dumb shit. I mean I have a keyboard too and I don't respond to every dumb thing someone says on this site, so I'm just saying get over arguing with some plebs on a broken music website if it's going to trigger your anxiety. Also FYI getting shat on is in my top 5 fetishes, and I am already aware I am a hypocrite in this instance as well by engaging in shit I am telling someone to get over. |
someguest
11.27.17 | cool story, bro |
Relinquished
11.27.17 | “FYI getting shat on is in my top 5 fetishes”
lmao |
hal1ax
11.27.17 | why not just post this shit on your main account, prancer?
don't be a little bitch |
someguest
11.27.17 | sounds like he should just get into farming |
Prancer
11.27.17 | This is my main account. It's my second account I've had on this website, yes, but the only one I use. As if I would actually have some kind of reputation on the first account to uphold as a come-and-go user. |
HalfManHalfAmazing
11.27.17 | Honestly, it was really pathetic. I was 20 years old and got pressured into losing it by a friend of mine. I met up with this Japanese girl on tinder and we started dating. I think about the third or fourth time we spent time together, we parked at a non-descript parking lot next to a Starbucks and went at it (protected of course). She felt super loose and neither of us came. Lol, I deeply regret it. |
brainmelter
11.27.17 | Jesus Christ I could never have sex while on mushrooms. |
Minushuman24
11.27.17 | on my birthday, in Las Vegas at the MGM
It was with a girl I technically just met, but I have been talking to her for about half a year prior. It was nice. |
TheSpaceMan
11.27.17 | "what if this ruins our friendship?"
Literally the hardest friendzone of all time lmao |
Lord(e)Po)))ts
11.27.17 | i dont have enough fucks to give to read much of what happened in this thread while i was gone but if I ever hurt Prancer (dont remember ever interacting at all, my apologies) enough that he thinks that blowing up at me for me and Unique Universe teasing each other (which, btw, is totally cool for both of us, Unique and me have always been cool and always bug each other, there is no animosity in it from either of us) then i'm sorry that i upset you and feel free to continue venting about it here if you feel that that is helpful in my absence! |
Kompys2000
11.27.17 | Haven't lost it yet, I'm still young though so no rush |
neekafat
11.27.17 | ctrl + f
"drifter"
heh |
someguest
11.27.17 | like everything else built around a societal or religious regimen the effect of losing one's virginity is overhyped and melodramatic to the nth degree |
mifzal
11.27.17 | Cabbage |
Papa Universe
11.27.17 | "@prancer congrats you are the first person to belittle me for my mental health issues on the entire site, underneath the veil of an alt. Gold star for being the worst person"
Bloody hell, that was my job. Prancer, you stole it from me! |
mifzal
11.27.17 | It was 14 and so was I |
BigBlob
11.27.17 | I was the cabbage |
ExecutiveExecuterexe
11.27.17 | did it over the summer |
Papa Universe
11.27.17 | And you'll get more once you finish that death metal album of yours. |
cold
11.27.17 | I was 15, met a girl from a trailer park. She took my virginity in her room with her bedroom door wide open, while her grandma was in the next room over. Meet Joe Black was on the TV in the background on mute with Korn's "Issues" blasting from the boombox. Gross. |
0GuyMan0
11.27.17 | was 15, flushed condom down her toilet. her dad found it later, kicked her and her mom out of the house and they divorced.
I married the girl, but....that day sucked a bit. |
BigBlob
11.27.17 | how the fuq did he find it? |
Papa Universe
11.27.17 | And why did he kick them out of the house for that? |
BigBlob
11.27.17 | cos the dad thought his daughter wasn't "active" and her mum was the one who flushed the condom? LOL |
0GuyMan0
11.27.17 | it floated back up |
0GuyMan0
11.27.17 | they were probably looking for a spark anyway, but he feigned or practiced ultra religious bullshit. threw them out that night, all their shit on the lawn. the whole thing.
we've not spoken to him since. he will never see his grandchild. |
BigBlob
11.27.17 | what a twat |
JS19
11.27.17 | Was a one night stand in first year of uni (went to a boys' school so opportunity was a bit thin on the ground in those years). Was pretty good. Was incredibly drunk so don't remember a huge amount |
MoosechriS
11.27.17 | First time was pretty standard for me, girl i was seeing at the time was staying at mine and my parents were out. Nothing else other than that really, as usual it’s all a bit awkward as you don’t really know what the fuck your doing but it was cool. |
guitarded_chuck
11.27.17 | not much of a story to it, banged a girl after school at her place one day when i was 16 |