Reviews 88
Soundoffs 113
News Articles 6
Band Edits + Tags 1
Album Edits 66

Album Ratings 1806
Objectivity 84%

Last Active 12-12-17 11:35 am
Joined 01-26-17

Forum Posts 33
Review Comments 5,977

12.04.17 Two Word Reviews (2017 Edition)11.26.17 Top Albums of 1977
11.15.17 On the Road again..11.07.17 20 to Montauk.. (Need Recs)
10.31.17 101 More Albums10.25.17 REC ROULETTE ROUND 11 -- Butcher Breako
10.19.17 The 90's in 55 Albums.. 10.10.17 REC ROULETTE ROUND 10 -- Butcher Blockb
10.09.17 Perfect Songs FINAL SHOWDOWN..10.08.17 Butcher Review Series Take 2..
10.04.17 Perfect Songs ROUND 410.02.17 REC ROULETTE ROUND 9 -- Butcher Brown..
10.01.17 Perfect Songs ROUND 309.27.17 Perfect Songs ROUND 2
09.26.17 REC ROULETTE ROUND 8 -- Butcher's Beat.09.25.17 Perfect Songs ROUND 1
09.19.17 Tits..09.18.17 REC ROULETTE ROUND 7 -- Build Butcher a
More »

Sput Lazaretto..

to counteract that sickening nicefest the wonderful and lovely danielcardoso has organized on here..
Ornaments of Mutilation

Submit your name and I will tell you what kind of disorder your being makes me suffer from..
2Personality Crisis
Creatures for Awhile


like shoving the universe up its own arse..
3Acid Reflux
Acid Reflux


Can sometimes be confused for something far more serious like a Heartattack, but is generally just a persistent nuisance.. Symptoms include hoarseness and extra saliva..
Gold on Gold


Congenitally-fucked and unable to walk gracefully, which will be a problem as he is about to be evicted and pound the pavement with the rest of the hobos..
5Dengue Fever
Dengue Fever


One of the symptoms of this condition is a severe pain behind your eyes, which is what I got when I saw that one of the four albums he rated as Classic had the word Pokemon in it..
Infecting Paranoid Minds


As incontinent as only the mind that likes After Laughter, Villains and Science Fiction can be..


Absent and not to be heard from for long periods of time, then descending on the site like an incurable plague, TheWrenKing is Amnesia personified in 1's and 0's.. Though we agree on a lot of musical opinions, I forget which and why and how and when and what..
8Severe Dementia
Epitaph Of Plassey EP


His unabashed loved of psychedelic and tripped-out drony music can only be the product of a mind gone mushy from LSD and super minty tic tacs..
9Swine Flu


From what I gathered, Sat is a complex man trying hard to strike a better sunnier disposition in the face of his persisting shittiness.. Self-awareness may be his saviour yet, and therefore he may be the first person to cure Swine Flu artisanally..
Patrons Of The Dark


Asleep's main affectation is that he is so nice that it causes mutual Paralysis, both in him from being clearly unfit to live in this non-cotton candy world, and his listener who instantly becomes paralyzed with rage at his own shortcomings.. Bastard..


Let's face it, Fripp loves prog, prog goes on for ages, tapering off then springing back up again, feels lumpy and pus-dripping, and doesn't really ever end, does it?
12Cancer of the Larynx
My Funeral


Which is what I feel I'm getting as we squabble over latter-day The Fall and Guided by Voices, and the πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯
The Putrid Smell Within


A peculiar creature, I can't quite make up my mind about Tyler.. He seems alright, but also not at all.. also he knows a deep dark secret of mine, and I DO NOT feel like that secret is in safe hands, so this fungal infection that can transmitted to humans from dogs and vice versa seems apt..
14Brain Tumors
Brain Tumors LP


Will also accept Bad Brains, Brain Failure, Brainworms, Shit for Brains and other band names that suggest a brain that's meltier than ideal..
15Birth Deformities


The ringmaster of discord, if you look at Flug's pie chart on Sput, the words that figure most often are Doom, Death, Black, Industrial, Gothic and Progressive, which sound like stages of grief you go through after realizing your band sucks and will never make it.. Deformities, i tell ya..


I remember sixdegrees mentioning Canadia and Vancouver, and though that part of Canadia is by no means hypothermia territory, it doesn't change the fact that the best thing about Vancouver is that Seattle is right across the bridge from it.. also, fuck hockey, eh?
Face (demo)


mewithoutyou is not a good band, and if you keep listening to it, you'll have to do it youwithoutme, motherfucker..
18Latent Anxiety


Beyond the chronic migraines that your Sput arch nemesis provides you with, he's also rated the new oxbow album a full point below what it actually is, which can only mean one thing, unfortunately I have no idea what that thing may be.. Latent anxiety is a low-level unease that results from lingering trauma, which is perfect as Chort does not have the chutzpah, the will or the time to cause me full-on brown paper bag anxiety attacks!!
19Blunt Force Trauma
Hatred For The State


I like Sint, and he gets far too much shite on this site for my liking, but his profile also says he's digging Brand New AND Converge, which really can only indicate severe Blunt Force Trauma to the ol' noggin..
Sturmgeschtz I


danielito is another strange creature.. I haven't interacted with him much, and we seem to dig a lot of the same music.. However, there's something, an inexplicable something about him that makes me feel that if we ever met in person, I'd push him into a photo booth, barricade the door and then feed the coin slot, until the photo flashes made him go blind.. Galucoma it is..
International Velvet


bgill hearts Devin Townsend who hearts putting so many layers into his wall of sound music that the whole thing becomes like the world's least fun tiered cake.. The only solution to this is for me to get drunk on multiple Gin and Catatonics..
Lust For Feculent Orgasm


King Gizzard and the Cheezard Blizzard are easily one of the dullest revivalist acts in musical history and all people who like them give me one singular Spasm - which is to say, one small twitch that while outside the status quo, doesn't really affect me anymore than the shite music does.. Unique, you're in this camp as well..
23Heart Attack [FRA]
Stop Pretending


A trip through cylinder's ratings is a journey fraught with confusion and puzzling dilemmas.. On the one hand, he gave decent ratings to some obscure punk gems like 23 Skidoo, he listens to the Cocteau Twins and seems to understand no-wave. On the other, the casualness with which his Experimental tastes slip into 'two japanese guys banging tin cups together and calling it minimal jazz' are enough to give me a Heart Attack!
24Delirium Tremens
Violent Mosh Ground


Ah jack, jackie boy, jack-o, jackster, jackarac, the perennial sweetheart, so lovely and unassuming and bright-eyed and eloquent and silver-tongued that he is clearly harbouring a deep, dark, biblical rage inside him.. Rage that will eventually lead to alcoholism and having the DT's in public places, scaring small children and aggravating cops..


ArtBox 5'ed my favourite Jesus and Mary Chain album, so really he must be a rad enough guy.. And we've barely spoken since I've been part of this invalid circus called Sputnik.. But for posterity reasons, let's just say his mama is so fat that she chases yellow school buses around because she thinks they're Twinkies..


Artuma is yet another complicated man.. Seemingly cold and distant and prone to passing meanness, he will warm up at the unexpected moment, usually a propos nothing and to no one's convenience.. I think a lot of his anger stems from the fact that any day now, his home country of Finland will conscript him to fight Russians for Arctic Circle oil reserves, when really he's just a sweet little Finnish boy who wants to ride around on geese like Nils (I know that's Sweden).. and though that's a much nicer look at it, it also sounds like the worst Netflix movie ever made.. Those long Scandinavian nights will also eventually give him cataracts..
27Jungle Rot
Fueled by Hate


cozmopazz is a Russian transplant in an age when the Cold War is about to shift into high gear again, so understandably, he's a bit high-strung and volatile, like a glass of vodka on a turbulent flight.. His musical dabbles in minimalism betray laziness and inability to play a melody wholly, but really he's a nice enough guy.. So i hope he gets Jungle Rot in a penny whorehouse in Cambodia..
28The Ordinary Fear Of God
My Hand, My Heart


Mort was mean to me about my abstract The Fall review, so it is all-evident, that the condition he suffers most from is puritan fear..
29Super Flu


Dan is the genesis point for this list.. He deemed himself saint-like enough to try and turn this place into a 60's flower child van filled with love, understanding and handjobs.. Though admittedly, it was pretty nice, I can't support that sort of positivism from a poetic standpoint, so I'm going to wish he gets the Super Flu, nothing too serious, but definitely more than regular ol' Flu.
Predatory Harvest


Look, Dewinged resides in Japan.. I used to go to Japan for visa runs every six months.. I know what's on offer there.. Here's a tepid glass of sake to the obscure, avant-garde crotch Fungus you can only catch from love motels..
31White Guilt
White Guilt


BlushfulHippocrene is essentially a poster-child of what an upstanding modern citizen should be.. He's kind, fairly informed, forms his own opinions but also listens to others.. He's accepting and tolerant and will lend a hand to anyone in need.. So really, the only thing that would ever kill such a pristine-faced boy is that beastly sanctimonious White Guilt..


His rangy music tastes and snarky tendencies do little to reveal the uber-functional man that hides behind them.. Doof is gainfully employed, married, settled, adjusted and comfortable and just right-wing enough to fit into any social situation with respectability and an absence of dirty looks.. He will live a long life, packed with memory and finally kick it from a Coronary at age 89, when no one will give a fuck anymore because well-adjusted people make us sick on a long enough timeline.. Love ya, pal, congrats again!
33Extinction A.D.
Plague Prophecy


I don't know him very well.. He's a Dinosaur.. It's either you or me, buddy..
Despondent Death


Rowan is staff, so he is technically The Man.. and as an anarcho-punk, it is my solemn duty to thrash against The Man.. The problem is, I'm not as sprightly as I used to be, and when given a choice between doing something or nothing, I will do nothing.. In making me realize that I am old and useless, Rowan has caused less oxygen to reach my tissues, depleting my body and mind until death.. The moral of the story - Colour and the Shape by the Foo Fighters IS NOT a 4.5 album!
35Gory Blister
Art Bleeds


Don't remember ever saying a word to you, which I can only assume is due to hideous Gory Blisters, yours or mine, I'm not sure..


SoccerRiot writes some pretty great reviews that I love reading.. Unfortunately, he writes most of them about music I think is better suited to be used during Gitmo torture.. So in a sense, he is like an amputated arm.. looks like a regular arm, feels like a regular arm, but if you pick your nose with it in public, people will scream and run away..
Aromatica GermenexcitaciΓ³n en OrgΓ­as De Viscosa Y

All staff/mods and other such overlords

Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis is a very rare disorder that afflicts silent majority partners in corporations and despots of small arbitrary countries that possess no natural resources or geopolitical value..
38Death (MI)
...For the Whole World to See


The final stage of this lazaretto.. take me, Jebus, Allah, you chip of blinking shite, you hydra etc..
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