pedal to the METAL
a parvenu ranks his least favourite genre. your task: to recommend him metal albums he won't hate. thanks |
| 30 |  | Jay-Z and Linkin Park
Collision Course
too soon |
| 29 |  | Iron Maiden
A Matter of Life and Death
i actually like this one |
| 28 |  | Xecutioner
Demo 1986
why are demos so much better than recorded albums makes u think |
| 27 |  | Knocked Loose
Laugh Tracks
i haven't left my house or showered in weeks |
| 26 |  | Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Of Natural History
this does actually have a soporific effect if you lace your coffee with whiskey |
| 25 |  | Insect Warfare
Noise Grind Power Death
lol |
| 24 |  | Ulcerous Phlegm
Ulcerous Phlegm
"fuck this is so good but too short" - Chuck's sexual partner on the size of his manhood |
| 23 |  | Converge
Petitioning the Empty Sky
Hi, I'm Jacob Bannon, and I'm looking for my Jane Doe! I like long walks on the beach, petitioning the empty sky from time to time. If You Fail Me, i'll be very upset, so i'm looking for my halo in a haystack. So stay with me until forever comes crashing; i'm no hero, but on you the axe will not fall. |
| 22 |  | Assuck
Misery Index
adroitly named collection of chipper tunes!!! |
| 21 | | Fear of God
Pneumetic Slaughter
I GOT BLISTERS ON MY ENTIRE BODY |
| 20 |  | Demilich
Nespithe
actually waiter i'd prefer some absinthe! what do you mean i'm cut off |
| 19 |  | Catasexual Urge Motivation
The Encyclopedia of Serial Murders
"I'll Confess Everything That I Have Ever Killed 5 People and One Was a Little Girl?" SO RELATABLE, smash the mf liker if u agree |
| 18 | | Pariso/Kerouac
Pariso/Kerouac
ONE
LOOK
IN THE MIRR-UH
YOU LOOK COLDER
THAN YOU DID LAST YEARRRRR |
| 17 |  | maudlin of the Well
Bath
having a bath to this album? not actually that great. 4.10 |
| 16 |  | Metallica
Ride the Lightning
don't make fun of me this fuckin ruels |
| 15 |  | Toadliquor
Feel My Hate, the Power Is the Weight
toad licker |
| 14 |  | Blasphemy
Blood Upon the Altar
not actually a blasphemous act according to most Orthodox doctrines but points for trying |
| 13 |  | Wold
Badb
bad bih |
| 12 | | Afterbirth
demo
this shit nastier than ur mums pussy when i'm finished with it m8 |
| 11 |  | Ulcerous Phlegm
International Problems Can't Be Solved By Intern..
tru tru |
| 10 |  | System of a Down
Mezmerize
why DO they always send the poor??? |
| 9 |  | Ulcerate
Everything Is Fire
everything on this album is fire |
| 8 |  | Converge
Jane Doe
it's just so epic!!!! but in the Moby Dick sense of the word. |
| 7 |  | Dave Phillips
The Hermeneutics of Fear of God
DJ DAVE PHILLIPS ON THE TURNTABLE GIVE US A SCRATCH *blistering grind emanates from the speakers* ERR THAT WAS... REALLY SOMETHING *crowd boos* |
| 6 |  | Child Abuse
Cut and Run
a piece of gold walks into a bar. the bartender says "AU get out of here". |
| 5 |  | Jesu
Jesu
i know the stones i've thrown / they tell me nothing laaaasts BOOM BOOM BOMO |
| 4 |  | Harvey Milk
A Small Turn of Human Kindness
"This was made for all the people that think Courtesy is our best album. We came up with the most pretentious music we possibly could, and since that wasn’t enough, we wrote ridiculous words about total bullshit and named the songs in the most annoying fashion we could imagine. But we thought we could keep pushing the envelope; we named the album the same thing as a song on another album of ours (My Love Is Higher…) and then designed an album cover that truly shows you how much we care–it’s a picture of some trees. We have reached the point of complete and total creative bankruptcy, but at least we made it shorter than the last record, so you can get through listening to it and return it to the store for a refund faster." |
| 3 |  | Blasphemy
Fallen Angel of Doom
Aluminum? I barely know him! |
| 2 |  | Kayo Dot
Choirs of the Eye
K.O. Dot |
| 1 |  | Harvey Milk
Courtesy and Good Will Toward Men
Havey is a traitorous wretch, and also an imbecile, pass it on |
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