fullautorpg
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Last Active 03-01-17 5:56 pm
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Bands to give my mom a heart attack

I meant to post this closer to mother's day, but I have been rather busy as of late, so enjoy this more humorous list. To give a little background, my mother can't handle Weezer. I also live in a conservative Christian household.
1Behemoth

Blackened-Death-Metal. Satanic lyrics, albums called Satanica and The Satanist. Insert very conservative mother and you've got a one way trip to the emergency room.
2Cannibal Corpse

All I need to do is show her the title of the band and Tomb of the Mutilated album cover and I'll be banned from buying music for quite a while. RIP
3Pig Destroyer

I'm not that big a Grind fan, which means my parents are ardently opposed to it if they've even heard of it.
4The Dillinger Escape Plan

Atonal math metal and someone who grew up on Muzac does not bode well.
5Watain

Known for dropping buckets filled with animal blood on fans and Satanic lyrics, I do not predict that this would end well.
6Rotting Christ

Nuff said.
7Attila

Terrible Deathcore and near constant swearing/ rapping. This'll be a big hit.
8Emperor

Symphonic Black Metal - Despite being great, I think she'd have a problem with the lower production values.
9Burzum

Sounds like it was recorded on a potato. Then you talk about Varg himself, nien.
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