danielcardoso
Daniel Dias
Contributor

Reviews 37
Soundoffs 3
News Articles 35
Band Edits + Tags 191
Album Edits 208

Album Ratings 738
Objectivity 77%

Last Active 02-06-18 8:29 am
Joined 04-19-13

Forum Posts 90
Review Comments 11,680

 Lists
09.06.17 Nicest Users?11.02.16 Dan's Positive Interaction List
08.03.16 Sputnik Quotes - Part III07.07.16 Dan's June Digs
06.25.16 Stadium Arcadium: Post-Amputation Surge02.16.16 Favorite R.E.M. Openers
09.16.15 Back To School09.05.15 Need Ambient Recs
08.24.15 Folk Recs07.19.15 Pavement: Retrospective
12.15.14 5 Underrated Rage Songs

Sputnik Quotes - Part III

It's been almost a year since the previous lists, and since then we've had enough hilarious quotes to warrant a part 3. Just gonna copy this from the first list so that no one forgets the drill: If you're contributing please give the source of the quote if possible, and album to add to the list with it if it's from a list or personal convo. Whatever you can think of, comment here and i'll be updating. First list - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1040187&listid=161001 Second list - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1053699&listid=161115
1Limp Bizkit
Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog...


"Rolling: this song is one of my personal faveourites, due to the clever double meaning of the lyrics. Rolling could either mean driving a car, rolling a cigarette, making some bread, falling down a hill, trying to put yourself out when your on fire or playing zelda on the n64. Whatever the meaning I've never been able to figure it out, but still a great song 5/5" - undertakerpt's classic review: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/62677/Limp-Bizkit-Chocolate-Starfish-and-the-Hot-Dog.../
2Infant Annihilator
The Elysian Grandeval Galèriarch


""I shove my cock" *jun jun jun* "into this newborn infant's sphincter" *slap bass solo*" - jac's infant annihilator soundoff: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=223443
3Farrah Abraham
My Teenage Dream Ended


""Yeah but if a robot wrote a song and I showed it to you and didn't tell you it was by a robot and you were like "Wow great fucking song" and I asked "Is this art?" and you'd say "sure, it's a great song" and then I'd be like "But a fucking robot wrote it" and you'd be like "Damn" - Trebor17's genius rambling:
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=54027&page=2#comments
4Bathory
Blood Fire Death


"Pirate metal - LOL the name alone pisses me off so much oh man. Metal isn't really my thing overall, I'll admit it, but if you tell me you like this shit of a subgenre then I automatically assume you don't cut your hair and look like Johnny Depp. Like holy shit guys why do you all suck the Black Sea's cock so hard? Every fucking band that comes out of there looks the exact same like can they produce anything original?" - SonomaDude offering his two cents to the conversation, the entire list is pretty hilarious too: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1052092&listid=167589
5Gucci Mane
Everybody Looking


"Gucci Mane, real name Gucci Mane, was originally arrested in September 2013 for doing normal Gucci Mane shit like waving guns at cops and having pockets full of weed." - this fucking news article, it's all hilarious: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/news/36203/Gucci-Mane-walks-free-releases-mixtape/
6John Cage
4'33''


Spooky's famous 4'33'' review.
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/64542/John-Cage-433/
7Public Enemy
It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back


"I'm not asian I'm from Long Island" - Green Baron trying to prove to everyone he's not Asian (from his "Trying to fit into high school" thread(since deleted)).
8Goatlord
Reflections of the Solstice


"I think it's funny and sad that when bands write lyrics about doing shit like this you guys eat it up like candy. Then, when someone actually goes and does something genuinely evil, it's all "victims are in my thoughts/prayers" and "RIP, so sad!"

The amount of posing that goes on in the metal community is staggering." - TzarChasm displaying complete ignorance: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/news/35022/Goatlord-guitarist-involved-in-murder-suicide/
9Beach Slang
Cheap Thrills On A Dead End Street


"You start to type. Your dick gets so hard. You jerk off. It feels good" - Spare telling just a little too much, same review as the previous one, downer's reviews just attract this type of comments it seems: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/64444/Beach-Slang-Cheap-Thrills-On-A-Dead-End-Street/#comments
10Beyonce
Lemonade


"Half-baked "conceptual" insipid indie pop nonsense" - Snide using "indie pop" to describe Beyonce: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=220123
11Joy Division
Unknown Pleasures


"I understand that you have an opinion but you are just a hipster elitist fuckwad that I am glad is off this site. 3/5 for this album, you don't even know punk you fucking poseur. (I love being an elitist asshole.)" - WilhelmBlack's glorious list on why staff reviews are usually terrible: https://web.archive.org/web/20151016193913/http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?mode=1&listid=162307
12Corrosion of Conformity
Deliverance


"None of you have spent a minute at my wife's house, nor do you have the slightest idea who my wife is. As if I'm going to believe a single word of this absolute garbage that's meant only to get me riled up and make me look like an ass. It's not happening." - Nazr making completely no sense in the forums: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=641912
13Green Day
¡UNO!


"Bi people have it right though I think. A second gender pool to copulate with? Double your chances." - CoolCalmJoe on Ars's sexual census thread, being a dumbass and not understanding shit about bisexuals: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=1034848&listid=159074
14Cromagnon
Orgasm


"There is nothing industrial about bagpipes. Quote of the ***ing year ladies and gentleman." - Meatplow in his review of Cromagnon-Orgasm: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/43103/Cromagnon-Orgasm/
15Sunhouse
Crazy on the Weekend


Doof: Sint put up a 3.5 rating and that means at least one more alt
Who do you want?
- PeeweesPieceOfTail (pic of female version of peewee Herman)
- TouchingMonologue (Mathew McConaughey pic from end of True Detectives)
- SpreadMyGlutes (pic of Anton Du Beke)

Ars: You guys are creating alt accounts just to 5 this whenever someone gives it a lower rating? Wow, screen shot.

Sint (later on): holy fuck ars who the fuck cares


Doof on wanting to raise the avg of Sunhouse to be the highest rated album on Sput, and ArsMoriendi being offended at people having fun on the same thread: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=69446&page=27#comments
16Borknagar
The Olden Domain


Boney: Damn there's a lot of bowel movements on this list

SCREAM!: I mean it's a hawks list
if you can't handle me at my cradle you don't deserve me at my paysage


SCREAM!, what else needs to be said: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=163187
17Radiohead
The Bends


"The bands history is almost as old as the band themselves" - ALA displaying genius logic in his 'the bends' review, unfortunately has been deleted since.
18Eidola
Degeneraterra


Piripichotes: So, just BC Cygnatti told you this is bad, you're gonna go and suck his dick and rate this 1? what a bunch of ass lickers... man Sputnik is gay as fuck, listen to this with your own ears, is nowhere close to a 5, not even a 4.5, but it actually is really good, melodies will stick with you for a while, it's a pleasant listen, way better that a lot of the shit that made it to top 10 for users and staff picks of 2016...
Grow a pair of balls Sputnik fags. Trendy fatfucks motherless worms.

Shark: This is the first time I've seen/heard anyone use the term "motherless worm" as an insult

Torts: yea trolls think using different word combinations really amplifies their opinions, it's funny

Piripichotes: it does, doesn't it? it's not funny, you're supposed to get mad and angry.


'Chotes having trouble getting his insults across: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=67059&page=5#comments
19Fallujah
Dreamless


"My preorder showing up 4 days early is the happiest I've been since Michael Jordan got the game-winning dunk in Space Jam." - cmaitland with the spot on analogies: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=214891
20Kendrick Lamar
To Pimp a Butterfly


"My list is mostly made out of metal records, I don't like Kendrick Lamar, but I can cope with you saying is the shit, the same with stuff like Sufjan or Chelsea... Fact is, sputnik is also over, and it's because people like you and all the ones that answered to my comment..

You guys need to chill, what a bunch of stalkers, get laid.

Blow me." - Piripichotes (notice the last 4 words in this post) from the same thread: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/blog/2015/12/31/users-top-50-albums-of-2015-10-1/
21Agalloch
The Mantle


"i'm gonna start a kickstarter to get u laid" - VoltairesAngryGlove on Piripichotes's shoutbox: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/shoutbox.php?memberid=1049463
22Chevelle
La Gárgola


"Hentai is some weird shit. I had some friends who would cum to this shit. Some wack jobs I picked for friends eh? Then again, that's their spare time I guess." - miketunney being the most insecure bitch ass ever and pretending like he doesn't fap to boku no pico while sucking the cream out of his penis donuts late at night: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=168023
232Pac
Me Against the World


Mystletainn: (recs a couple of hip-hop albums)

Keyblade: listen to the homie mystle

ALA: I looked up "homie mystle" and couldn't find anything.


ALA on the 'albums to get me into rap' thread, somehow being led to believe that Homie Mystle is an actual artist: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=166750&memberid=1068787
24Porcupine Tree
In Absentia


LeSonata: Jam everything, even the incident which is the worst. Only people with no brain dislike PT

Flug: so many wrongs in that short post

LeSonata: Sup flug, those are brave words for a worthless piece of shit


LeSonataWishPark delivering sick burns in the latest porcupine tree list - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=168527
25Weezer
The White Album


Doof: Worst album of the year. I'd never listened to a full album before because my Spidey sense would go off but I ignored it to give them a try this time. Obnoxious pukey garbage. It's like if you took the worst ever Shins song and made it 100 times more saccharine and threw away all the decent song writing ideas and any clever lyrics...then recorded that song 9 more times...then you've got 'The White with Brown Smears Album'. All of these songs sound like TV theme jingles but if any of these songs soundtracked a TV Show you'd instantly know it would be shit. So this music could have a use.
(...)
CL0VER: DoofusWainright more like DoofusWainWRONG


Weezer thread, with half the site trying to explain doof why they are a great band to him slowly upping his rating in increments, which then leads to people exposing his 1s, doof ranking the tunes piss poor, and other interesting endeavors (pages 34-41 are best): http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=70321&page=34#comments
26Ghoulgotha
To Starve the Cross


Xenophanes:
Pretty fascinating watching you interact on this site. You'll adhere to your contrarian nature, even when it makes you look like you have bad taste. Really impressed by your dedication to false individuality.

OvDeath: Jesus christ are you for real


Xeno not really into diverging opinions: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/71391/Ghoulgotha-To-Starve-the-Cross/#comments
27In Flames
Reroute to Remain


"Reroute to Remain marks the first sharp plummet in the band's descent into gayness, and a deep plummet it is." - XfingTheSullen's 'gold nugget'. The comments that ensue after regarding the topic are pretty great too - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/43604/In-Flames-Reroute-to-Remain/
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