Converge As Siblings
A brand new sitcom coming soon to a boob tube near you! It's The Converge Kids, and they're packing all sorts of marvelous and wacky adventures in the decisive realm of metalcore (please don't make me say that word again)! Come meet the gang! |
| 1 |  | Converge
Halo in a Haystack
Your eldest crack-addict sister of the gang who is now officially declared missing. |
| 2 |  | Converge
Petitioning the Empty Sky
The Hispanic half-brother who took you to a grimey skate park when you were 4 and showed you the first Jackass film late one night. |
| 3 |  | Converge
When Forever Comes Crashing
Your older hipster sister who taught you that The Illusion of Safety is Thrice's best album and plays the bass because "they hate the sound of guitars". |
| 4 |  | Converge
Jane Doe
Your perfect and utterly boring gender neutral middle child!
One day the gang will get together and blanket party the bitch. |
| 5 |  | Converge
You Fail Me
The brother who you were born 3 seconds after from and you constantly tease him as a little brother, leading to his failed attempts to become a punk rock singer and social problems with women. Also, his favorite band is Embrace. |
| 6 |  | Converge
No Heroes
Your other little brother, stuck in the third grade because he jumped off the roof of the house onto the back of a moving car.
Didn't end well, and now he's prone to somewhat-cool-yet-still-utterly-dull fits of rage and spasm. |
| 7 |  | Converge
Axe to Fall
Your freshmen year sister who went to an Every Time I Die concert one time and uses your bed when she has (many) boys over at the house. |
| 8 |  | Converge
All We Love We Leave Behind
Your little 6 year old sister who reads Vonnegut and is somehow more mature than her parents. |
|
