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User
Reviews 4
Approval 63%
Soundoffs 22
Album Ratings 163
Objectivity 46%
Last Active 03-15-14 11:02 pm
Joined 07-02-12
Review Comments 1,425
| COOKING WITH TREEMAN 203: SO U WANT SOME THAI FOOD
Good day, Treeman here coming to you live from third circle of hell where I am being punished for at least eternity years for my sin of gluttony. Why you ask? Well, I made some thai food the other night, like I do about 3 times a week, and I ate it all, again, like the large-ass I am. I can admit that the problem was predominantly the plain fact that I was probably high, but at the time I was pretty sure that these noodles are whats making my muscles so god damn big. So here you go. This one might take a bit of shopping around to find the ingredients (I'm assuming no one has oyster sauce or sweet black soy), but it'll fuckin fill you up n shit and make your muscles grow larger so you can cut off the sleeves of more of your shitty coldplay t shirts. It's time for some basic-ass, american-loved, Pad See-Iew alla Treeman | | 1 |  | Gucci Mane and Chief Keef
Big Gucci Sosa
This list will just be some chief keef that I like like half of my lists are
You're Gonna need: some stuff that you can only find in asian supermarkets
- sweet black soy sauce (you can use molasses I guess its p much the same)
- sambal (chili paste, not sriracha, better)
- fish sauce
- oyster sauce
- regular dark soy sauce
- rice vinegar
- some meat idk
- broccoli
- garlic
- wide rice noodles
- pepper
- fuckin vegetable oil for frying idiot
- egg?????? | | 2 |  | Chief Keef
Bang 3
here's what y'ore gonna do:
1) soak some god damn rice noodles in cold water for about 30 minutes
2) while theyre soaking, absolutely obliterate the amount of garlic that you desire, even some god damn ginger if you like
3) cut up some broccoli and steam it most of the way somehow, i dont really care how
4) cook up your fucking meat
5) cook your damn noodles until they are still a bit chewy, al dente, whatever the fuck the thai word is and strain them, rinsing them off with cold water to remove the extra starches
6) put vegetable oil in the pan on high heat (like 8 or 9) (1-2 tbsp, depending on how fat you feel)
7) fry the garlic for about a minute, dont fucking burn it, keep moving it around i swear
8) put in your god damn noodles, dont crowd the dumb pan, toss these around for about a minute or two with the garlic, keep it fucking moving!!!! You are cooking on high heat and shit is gonna stick to the pan if you dont.
9) now add your meet and the broccoli, toss more | | 3 |  | Chief Keef
Finally Rollin 2
10) ok now it gets harder because i really dont know how much you are making, and I really dont have an exact recipe for this, I can feel the fucking noodles in my bones. 8oz of uncooked rice noodles makes a shitton of cooked ones, so Im gonna say this is about the right proportions for 4oz uncooked noodles, so like a quarter of the package ok?
11) pour in soy sauce, bout a tablespoon
12) pour in dark soy, about 2 tbsp
13) about 2 tsp of rice vinegar
14) a lot of sambal, idk depends on how spicy you want it i like mine thai spicy cause im good
15) about 1-2 tsp of fish sauce (this helps with seasoning a lot, so if you dont like it [fuck you], then use a little less but make sure you get the salt content right asshole.
16) oyster sauce, about 1 tbsp
17) move the god damn noodles around, you can add these in any order but make sure you're stirring or tossing this shit if you're good
18) cook these things till theres a bit of caramelization on the noodles | | 4 |  | Chief Keef
Finally Rich
19) toss a scrambles egg in there at the end if you want
20) plate in a shallow bowl of course
21) eat with a spoon
There! take that, losers. This will probably take a couple tries to master. It cooks over real high heat (wok if possible) and there are lots of ingredients i different amounts. But really wahtever you make with this shit is probably gonna taste pretty good, at least good enough to fool the basics. PEACE | |
Treeman
03.30.16 | pad see iew time | zakalwe
03.30.16 | Whip it up, gulp it down and inevitably unleash farts that smell like a dead animal.
I'll stick with bangers and mash son. | Treeman
03.30.16 | ok well if you're drunk then your farts are gonna smell like cave-aged whole goats milk cheese anyways so whatever | Piglet
03.30.16 | COOKING WITH TREEMAN: BANGERS AND MASH next??? | Treeman
03.30.16 | maybe, no promises | onionbubs
03.30.16 | i see you spared my onion bretheren this time | Cygnatti
03.30.16 | bruh, pls send upon us a recipe for the fabled chief quiche dish x.x | Treeman
03.30.16 | quiche sucks wouldn't you rather eat a frittata? | Piglet
03.30.16 | still mad waiting on treeman shepherd's pies | SitruK6
03.30.16 | Thai food is da shit | Treeman
03.30.16 | ive gotta make a shepherd's pie fore i give you my recipe!!!!! | hal1ax
03.30.16 | if i buy you saffron, will you impart the secrets of treeman Paella? | Treeman
03.31.16 | and a paella pan |
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