theacademy: Sowingseason Wedding Fanfic

theacademy 08.07.13	Theacademy arrives and, to his horror, discovers he is seated at a table comprised of second- and third-tier users.
YakNips 08.07.13	someguest arrives with his sister/wife
theacademy 08.07.13	She is wearing an elegant blue dress.
Sowing 08.07.13	With his husband enrique
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Frippertronics is escorted off the premises after typing two sentences instead of one.
someguest 08.07.13	Yaknips steps outside, completely shitfaced, and gets hit and killed instantly by a car.
WeepingBanana 08.07.13	then everyone goes home HA
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	bailar is fucking killing it on the dancefloor
Cygnatti 08.07.13	acad plots revenge against the seating manager for their transgressions.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	acad stabs bailar in the face out of jealousy.
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	chan and john hanson are already making out in the corner even though it's only like 3 in the afternoon and sowing's parents are giving them funny looks "those must be friends of the [i]bride's[/i] family" they mutter to each other
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Frippertronics saunters out into the street looking for an enigma that had a slight resemblance of a cat.
RogueNine 08.07.13	Rev seizes the opportunity to DJ his latest tunes.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Fripper walks back into the club, walks to the bar, mixes cranberry juice, orange juice, vodka, and tonic, creating the 'Frippertonic'.
hogan900 08.07.13	Justin Beiber challenges andcas to a rap battle
larrytheslug 08.07.13	"oww... that didnt feel good" bieber remarks
theacademy 08.07.13	andcas, drinking quite heavily, attempts to make a toast but cannot get past the 'shat' in "shattered all your plans" without cracking himself up; the audience is embarrassed and Sowing's bride sobs 'who is that portly young lesbian and why is she ruining my wedding?'
PayneTiger777 08.07.13	While a porpoise flaunters in the fountain.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Degausser walks in and screams, "OH MY GOD YOU'RE ANDCAS".
YakNips 08.07.13	andcas passes out; he is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	skele criticizes fripp for his penis length; he is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
Relinquished 08.07.13	Relinquished arrives with his tall and ripped self and his hot wife that's a mix of susan coffey and heather vandeven wishing sowing that it'll be half as good as what we got.
ChuckyTruant 08.07.13	you may kiss the bride.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	sowing is subsequently kicked out by andcas before he could say, 'I do.'
NordicMindset 08.07.13	skele, fripp, acad and andcas start a circle jerk and skele comes first because of his mini-dick
theacademy 08.07.13	Relinquished impresses all with tales of who his cousin is and how he talked to his cousin once and omg chelsea wolfe iS HIS FUCKING COUSIN
JazzHands333 08.07.13	ChuckyTruant forces Yellowcard (the wedding band) to go into an impromptu Misery Signals cover session. At gunpoint.
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	djnils puts on another sick track
hogan900 08.07.13	Skeles mini dick is kicked out by andcas
JazzHands333 08.07.13	She refuses to let him buttfuck her
YakNips 08.07.13	He is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
theacademy 08.07.13	(Of course sowing spared no expense, booking djnils months in advance)
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Degausser stabs skele in the back because why not.
Ignimbrite 08.07.13	Kroner arrives and stands awkwardly in a corner while chatting up the select few people who he can actually stand, and he consumes many finger foods.
treeqt. 08.07.13	I turn up with my waifu Kyary. She ends up spending the night with andcas. lyk dis if u cyr evrytiem
hogan900 08.07.13	the hot tub is kicked out by andcas
klap 08.07.13	"strictly '80s Joel, sir," the band singer attempts to tell a shitfaced andcas as he requests a wonder years song for the fifth time in a row
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas got knocked out by Ernest Hemingway in the first round of the inaugural pre wedding boxing math hosted by Adolph Hitler.
RogueNine 08.07.13	In the midst of it all, oltna is standing up on the table reminding everyone to "just stay positive."
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	'I came out of the closet from a south philly basement caked in stale cum and sweat and my name is andcas,' Soupy Campbell sings into the microphone.
Ignimbrite 08.07.13	Sowing and his bride call for a circle jerk.
hogan900 08.07.13	Andcas beats down hemingway with an old man and a sea
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas handles defeat poorly, posts a Rebecca Black song update on sputnik from his iphone instead of taking part in the wedding ceremony.
klap 08.07.13	klap features this list even though sowing, redfaced with embarrassment, begs him not to. klap cackles and passes the mic to academy
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	The name of Mississippi River is changed to the Andcas Waterway because why not.
Relinquished 08.07.13	andcas posts a news article about the wedding the next day with corny jokes related to pop punk bands somehow
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	by this point in the wedding brandon lewis has mentioned that he does judo 30 times and the pussy in the room grows ever farther from him. bighans stands next to him trying to give fatherly advice about how scoring at weddings is easy if you just play hair metal but it is to no avail
Cygnatti 08.07.13	andcas is appointed honorary bouncer; the appoint-er is subsequently kicked out in celebration.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Richard Simmons is guest DJ for the night, providing a rousing rendition of Village People's YMCA. Required however is the disposal of all clothing so it's one large, nude colony of people going ham to some Village People.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Omaha writes a shitty sound-off in the midst of this chaos.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	A fat couple is laying in the middle of the dance floor rubbing mayonnaise all over each others bodies. It turns out that the couple is Andcas and Maniac!.
Cygnatti 08.07.13	R kelly crashes the wedding, but subsequently ends up hiding in a closet.
Relinquished 08.07.13	dryden sneaks in the party and makes it uncomfortable. ire tries to suck on his wag.
YakNips 08.07.13	He is subsequently kicked out of the closet by andcas.
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	taylor swift busts into the room along with pam from the office and the two fight to the death for sowing's hand in marriage taylor handles pam easily (dat wing span) and sowing accepts but t-swift promptly breaks up with sowing and writes a song about it
theacademy 08.07.13	(belts into mic) "WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STR..."
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	She is not subsequently kicked out by andcas.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas challenges David Hasselhoff to a drinking contest and he promptly pisses on him.
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	Trebor is at the wedding. He's being really lame and uncomfortable
Cygnatti 08.07.13	lmfao
someguest 08.07.13	Trent Reznor shows up as the special guest and is forced to start shooting up heroin again as the wedding is so dreadfully corny and boring, not unlike most of his lyrics.
Cygnatti 08.07.13	"Don’t say 'Yes', run away now I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door Don’t wait or say a single vow You need to hear me out And they said, "Speak now"
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Ire is getting D.P'd at the DJ booth by Dryden and Andcas.
RogueNine 08.07.13	It is revealed that LloydNewgreen was responsible for hitting YakNips with his car, as Lloyd swears he never saw him because he was too busy jamming Wish You Were Here.
Mongi123 08.07.13	At this point in the wedding Baseline tries to get in, but Andcas being the honorary bouncer procedes to throw a glass of champagne at him and turns him away
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Intothepit arrives to the wedding by crashing his car through the wall, hookers in tow, cocaine all over his nose.
someguest 08.07.13	The entire dance floor reeks of piss, but andcas is nowhere to be found.
Relinquished 08.07.13	potsy rips apart andcas while ire rips afart on andcas and dryden rips apart andcas's asshole
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Rachael Leigh Cook arrives to the wedding. Andcas kicks her out just because.
YakNips 08.07.13	Crandy is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
Relinquished 08.07.13	andcas makes a toast for sowing but no one is amused
Trebor. 08.07.13	The wedding band arrives, it's Fantastimo and they rock the fuck out and everyone is dancing
Sowing 08.07.13	Sowing, furious at this point, fucks up everyone in the room except for Swift, Fischer, and his bride, who collectively decide that it would be best if Sowing experiences a 4-way on his honeymoon
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Yoda is spoon feeding Richard Simmons peanut butter in the corner meanwhile Henry Cavill is pumping some mean iron in the corner, showing off his guns to the awestruck world, and an extremely moist Andcas.
Relinquished 08.07.13	your move moaropeth
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas kicks everyone out of the room and pulls the plug on the wedding.
YakNips 08.07.13	BallsToTheWall shows up tripping his fucking balls off apparently
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Henry Cavill tries to save the wedding but cannot transform because there are no phone booths to be found.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Opeth is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
Relinquished 08.07.13	ballstothewall shows up half naked and drunk on mead and wolf blood hitting on everyone except andcas
Eclecticist 08.07.13	Then ButcheredChildren arrives.
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	everyone pours out the alcohol and leaves
Cygnatti 08.07.13	Sowing's wife sees this thread and then proceeds to make out with Taylor Swift.
theacademy 08.07.13	breaking character for a sec wow Balls is a really seasoned writer of fanfiction ok back Hawks arrives in a crisp yellow tux and a black fitted: "where the white women at?"
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Henry Cavill evolves into Gyarados and everyone at the wedding eats pot brownies.
Relinquished 08.07.13	butcheredchildren gets fucked up by shadowremains and leaves the part mucus spewing and groveling for mercy
YakNips 08.07.13	The white women are subsequently fucked by Hawks
Mongi123 08.07.13	Henry Cavill then says fuck the phone booth and snorts the rest of intothepit's coke.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas is getting a rimjob from Jynx all the while Poliwag, Poliwhirl and Poliwrath are singing acapella for the bride and groom.
Eclecticist 08.07.13	ButcheredChildren proceeds to the nearest server with popcorn shrimp.
Relinquished 08.07.13	fuckin lol balls
theacademy 08.07.13	ButcheredChildren then asks (repeatedly) to be deleted from the wedding because he is no longer a user on sputnikmusic.com
YakNips 08.07.13	God shakes his head at the wedding
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Gyrados suffocates due to lack of water in the atmosphere. Andcas urinates on his corpse.
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	then lakes and bitchfork arrive just kidding it's past 9:30 on a school night
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas kicks out Hawks for bringing all of his Cradle of Filth merchandise to the wedding.
YakNips 08.07.13	Lakes and kman have buttsex, viciously.
RogueNine 08.07.13	Rogue, being fashionably late, arrives at the wedding and is subsequently kicked out by andcas for being too low-tier.
Eclecticist 08.07.13	theacademy tells another bad joke and is subsequently punched in the dick by KILL, who, just arrived.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas tries his hand at karaoke with Kid Rock's American Badass and fails horribly much to the chagrin of Lady Jynx.
Relinquished 08.07.13	KILL takes upon the role of DJ and puts on Budgie while everyone jams
Cygnatti 08.07.13	"Lakes and kman have buttsex, viciously." yaks subsequently joins in.
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Kid Rock shows up drunk off his ass, kicks andcas in his nonexistent balls for ruining his already tarnished legacy, eats a pot brownie and crashes his car into the side of the building.
YakNips 08.07.13	at which point we had to chug our flasks
Mongi123 08.07.13	KILL then procedes to punch the bride which causes sowingseason to ironically "kill" KILL and Andcas respectfully throws out the corpse.
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	andcas is kicked out by andcas
YakNips 08.07.13	He is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Trebor mentions La Dispute to the DJ and is instantly turned into a bucket of KFC chicken, promptly being eaten by Maniac!'s fat ass.
Relinquished 08.07.13	but not before he judo chops it so he won't choke
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	SeaAnenome arrives to the wedding by Lapras, the breezy wind coolly blowing through his hair in a very Keanu Reeves-esque kinda way.
Mongi123 08.07.13	Maniac! then gets food poisoning from the KFC chicken and is kicked out by Andcas because Andcas thinks he's a pussy for getting food poisoning
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	The DJ spins the new Dream Theater single and his song is neg'd by 8 different plug users, resulting in a skip.
Relinquished 08.07.13	andcas then wonders about the metaphysics of that then kicks himself out for being a pussy
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Relinquished bumps and grinds on folk musician Chelsea Wolfe when the Tegan and Sara comes on.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	They say nothing can be able to escape a black hole, not even light, that is until andcas kicks out the black hole.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	I join the party.
Eclecticist 08.07.13	Some unknown relative of Sowing's pulls out his tablet and points at Snoxall's Colored Sands review [everyone at the table collectively sighs].
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Christopher Reeve reanimates to ask Henry Cavill/urine-soaked dead Gyrados for his autograph.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Alan Rickman punches Andcas in the dick with a Marlin.
theacademy 08.07.13	Academy chats up the bridesmaids and he thinks it's going well! : http://i.imgur.com/4jfqrA6.jpg
Relinquished 08.07.13	yo everyone check out Chelsea's new album when it's released since we're on the topic
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Dead Gyarados awakens and explodes into a million Magikarp that go soaring into several directions, hitting Andcas in the shin and exploding into a million more Magikarp upon contact.
Relinquished 08.07.13	hawks enters the party making many workaholics references especially how torqued up he is upon seeing sowing's wife
RogueNine 08.07.13	Dev has been here all along, half-shrouded in shadow in the corner, grinning cooly.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Everybody begins rubbing each other with curry and turmeric for no other reason than to be hot and spicy.
YakNips 08.07.13	Sowing does unspeakable things to Jesse's body
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Nightmare has no idea that a wedding is going on. Proceeds to blast The Mars Volta and Pink Floyd music in his basement to his own dismay.
Trebor. 08.07.13	Balls rips off his pink dolphin print yoga pants to reveal a pink banana hammock with Lil B's face on it that can barely contain the package it is holding
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Christopher Reeve becomes enraged and kills half the wedding guests with mystical wheelchair magic.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Wizard is wearing a fedora but no pants however while playing the tuba to George Lucas.
Relinquished 08.07.13	rasputin then makes a joke causing wizard to do his signature laugh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mongi123 08.07.13	Fred Durst then shows up for a surprise performance
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Chuck Norris has a hip replacement surgery 4 minutes into Wolves in the Throne Room's Vastness and Sorrow.
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Wizard says the word "Wizard" 3 times and claps which summons Jus Oborn, who brought even more pot brownies.
YakNips 08.07.13	Yaks and Lakes and Kman are still having passionate buttsex
Eclecticist 08.07.13	sonicthedrummer shows up
Inveigh 08.07.13	inveigh arrives late yet already drunk, wearing a shirt that reads "I'm with stupid" with an arrow pointing down towards his dick; he is alone.
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	sonicthedrummer plays didgeridoo
Cygnatti 08.07.13	sowing then decides that it is best that he have a fivesome for his honeymoon, with him, his wife, taylor swift, jenna, and jesse lacey.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	For some reason SeaAnenome, Trebor, Academy, Yaknips and myself are watching three androgynous clowns fuck each other with bowling pins on top of a giant, animated chocolate cake meanwhile Andcas just got sucker punched by Michael Cera.
Trebor. 08.07.13	Lil B then shows up, he's wearing a banana hammock with Ball's face on it, they stare at each others' packages with each others' faces on them quizzically
Mongi123 08.07.13	Meanwhile jesse Lacey is laying dead on the floor
Inveigh 08.07.13	everyone has noticed that Balls is wearing a white wedding dress to the event, yet no one has the balls to say anything to him
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	The band Brand New arrives at Sowing's wedding as the apparent special guest. To their dismay, they find a DJ instead. The Devil and God Start Raging Inside them.
ZilbelPing 08.07.13	ffs shows up, completely unannounced, and says something witty/funny, then leaves without saying another word meanwhile, cone shows up drunk and tries to get hawks to have sex with him, to no avail
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Trebor is eating pickled ham with Rob Lowe.
DegausserGuernica24 08.07.13	Vic Fuentes, Cedric Bixler and Chino Moreno initiate a mexicore circle-jerk.
Inveigh 08.07.13	at least 4 out of the 5 bridesmaids has seen a penis she didn't want to see already
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	The new DJ is DJ Assault, who plays his megahit "Ass N Titties" on repeat throughout the entire affair, even following Sowing around on his honeymoon to remind him of the joys of ass n titties.
Mongi123 08.07.13	The band then realizes that their singer is dead and asks Andcas to be their singer. He then kicks them out because he's too good for them.
Trebor. 08.07.13	Nectrotica claims that he is "Done here for a while" then minutes later he changes his mind and unveils his plan for the wedding, he is then banned from the wedding, he then crashes the wedding under another name like quiffersutherland, he is again banned from the wedding
Relinquished 08.07.13	andcas tries to be like michael cera and does coke but o.d.'s
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	quiffersutherland stops Dead Gyrados from assassinating the guy from the allstate commercials
YakNips 08.07.13	bach shows up and gives the wedding a 4.5, while cyg and six give it a 3
Inveigh 08.07.13	inveigh finishes andcas' coke and fucks his sister in the bathroom, even though she is ugly (just assuming the date he brought with him was his sister, even though i have no idea really)
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Inveigh just snorted confectioner's sugar off a pirate hooker's ass crack and gave some hobo a NERF gun.
heyadam 08.07.13	Nicholas Cage then kidnaps Sowing in order for him to decipher a clue that will lead Nicholas to the coveted Declaration of Independence
Inveigh 08.07.13	inveigh just shrugs and points to his shirt
Relinquished 08.07.13	"inveigh finishes andcas' coke and fucks his sister, even though she is ugly (just assuming the date he brought with him was his sister, even though i have no idea really)" sisterfucker pt 2
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Walt Disney calls a press conference to reveal that 1. Captain Hook is a pirate hooker 2. He still hates Jews.
Mongi123 08.07.13	Andcas then dies from the od and is thrown into the increasing pile of corpses that is piling up in the corner that includes Henry Cavill, KILL, Jesse Lacey, and now himself.
Eclecticist 08.07.13	ButcheredChildren is finally finished all of the popcorn shrimp that was ordered for the entire day.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	There are 30 Michael Bolton clones blocking off all of the exits while crooning their way into the pants of every woman present.
Trebor. 08.07.13	It turns out the Lil B at the party was actually a hologram and the real Lil B was in the back fucking everyones' bitches
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Sowing's wife leaves him for Michael Bolton
RogueNine 08.07.13	Oltna jumps down from the table and asks Balls if he can have a pair of underwear just like his.
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Lil B seduces Michael Bolton
YakNips 08.07.13	He is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
someguest 08.07.13	yeah sisterfucking woo hoo
Deviant. 08.07.13	Irving shows up with a look of despair on his face, even though by the end of the night he hopes to have cancelled the wedding by revealing his (not so) secret love for Sowing. In the meantime he plans to make do with meaningful glances until the priest announces "if anyone here should feel as if these two should not be wed, then speak now or forever hold your peace" at which point he'll vault up and start singing Whitney Houston timeless classic 'I Will Always Love You'
heyadam 08.07.13	somewhere in the distance Bill Clinton is getting a blowjob from Sarah Palin while watching the party through binoculars.
Eclecticist 08.07.13	sonicthedrummer is still playing the digeridoo, sitting on the floor, eagerly sliding his butt over the ground inch by inch while no one is paying attention in the direction of Sowing's girl
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Whitney Houston reanimates to try and get Christopher Reeve back to the cemetery, as well as score some of Jus Oborn's pot brownies.
Trebor. 08.07.13	It turns out everyone at the wedding strangely feels like they know each other, cuz we all do in an alternate timeline cuz we're actually in a flash sideways like the 6th season of Lost wow
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	Ben Linus refuses to go the wedding because he feels like he doesn't deserve to.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas for soem reason is dressed as Kenny G and is trying in vain to seduce Maniac!
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Ponton is upset to find he wasn't invited to the wedding party because he's an emeritus.
YakNips 08.07.13	Sowing and Irving run off together into the sunset
YoYoMancuso 08.07.13	It is discovered that Sowing is also an emeritus, and he is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	SowingSeason is now getting married to Michael Bolton's niece.
Inveigh 08.07.13	also Michael Bolton's niece is Banion
Mongi123 08.07.13	They lived happily ever after
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Nightmare blows up his speakers and his own basement. Proceeds upstairs only to be kicked out of his own house by andcas.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Ire is slowdancing with Jerry Sandusky to some Senses Fail.
Inveigh 08.07.13	Banion and Sowing adopt Maniac and immediately start fighting crime
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Maniac adopts the surname Special Jack and starts judo chopping blind children.
Relinquished 08.07.13	youaremysilence rematerializes from the heavens and fucks banion as a parting gift while maniac jerks off into someguest's mouth.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Nightmare is now stuck on the streets, only to be caught in the street crimes of Banion and Sowing. Barely escapes and moves to Alaska.
mindleviticus 08.07.13	Sowing meets with kitsch at the wedding and gets destroyed by him for his poor music taste
YakNips 08.07.13	It turns out that oltna was Lil B all along. Oltna/Lil B and Balls get married and adopt 39 Chinese girls
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Angelofdeath brings us a pristine culinary dish of grilled unicorn steak with mashed hippopotamus testicles seasoned with Maniac's special taint juice and sprinkled with dead jew ashes on top.
mindleviticus 08.07.13	Maniac's butthole becomes enflamed by excessive taint juice squirting while fish asphyxiates himself to the sight of it
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	There were three perverted walruses lurking around the corners but the crisis was averted when Andcas kicked them out.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	To the rescue, Crysis arrives, kicks out the DJ, and proceeds to play a mashup of death metal and black metal. His approval rating skyrockets to 666%.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Maniac! judo chops the entire Kardashian clan, earning rave reviews from his fellow contributors.
Inveigh 08.07.13	somehow no one has noticed that BigHans has kicked progmaster out of the wedding at least 17 times, finally hanging him from a flagpole by his underwear
InbredJed 08.07.13	TommyGun arrives with Jemaine Clement on a leash, and.everyone forgets about Andcas.
Relinquished 08.07.13	maniac then creates lists to advertise his website only to delete them like every single list he ever made
mindleviticus 08.07.13	Kim Kardashian's nipples perk and everyone but sowing gets hard because he's true to his marriage
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Thor is playing technical death metal on his Mandy Moore blowup doll while a inebriated Andcas is midget tossing jawas with Spec.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Intothepit and PalaceofWisdom meet by the punch bowl..................................
YakNips 08.07.13	Tommy is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
TheNexus100 08.07.13	hey come on man i miss hans...
mindleviticus 08.07.13	Amanda Bynes shows up and due to her paranoid schizophrenia, she believes andcas is a magical fairy from hell to enslave Drake; her vagina driller
YakNips 08.07.13	Fourth gets mad at me for playing too much Code Orange Kids
Trebor. 08.07.13	Chest Rockwell shows up and gives Sowing's bride a tongue kiss.........on her hot pocket
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Bighans is giving a Boston pancake to the mother of Andcas during the crescendo of that one Exploisons in the Sky song.
Inveigh 08.07.13	meanwhile palaceofwisdom is trying to explain to pit why boy meets world eclipses everything his older brother fred ever did
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Nightmare receives complaints from the state government of Alaska that he is causing noise pollution by blaring Comfortably Numb on his lakefront property. Forced to send the pink Floyd to the Sowing Wedding as a gift.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Wolfhorde led off some of the Jewish partygoer intoto his gas shower mini van.
mindleviticus 08.07.13	The buildup in the song Mystery and Peace by Envy makes Amanda Bynes believe she is sowing
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Danny Glover is getting too old for this shit.
Relinquished 08.07.13	"Intothepit and PalaceofWisdom meet by the punch bowl.................................." lmao
InbredJed 08.07.13	Silent Potato is hiding in the ice sculpture, but gets frost bite before he can bust out and surprise everyone. CK begins to administer 1st aid, until Pissbore walks in, steps on Potsy's neck, and promptly hooks a bottle of Curty Sark up to the iv drip and injects it in his own arm. Then leaves.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Before Rush is to take the stage they have one request to the couple and that is to kick Andcas out of the wedding before they play.
intotheshit 08.07.13	Pit has sex with sowing's wife.
InbredJed 08.07.13	Chest Rockwell sighting! Fuck yes!
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Nightmare storms the wedding with a shotgun screaming Run Like Hell at the top of his lungs. The resulting carnage: The Wall.
Relinquished 08.07.13	riffoclock stabs pissbore for not trying enough andcas writes a news article about it
mindleviticus 08.07.13	sowing's wife is actually kim kardashian whom has also been with maniac
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Intothepit sucker punches Billy Corgan for being Billy Corgan.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	pit's car gets towed away by andcas, who seconds later, returns to the party.
YakNips 08.07.13	The song Sleep by Godspeed You! Black Emperor has been playing the entire time
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas blacked out and awoke to a bunch of clowns spoon feeding him Honey Nut Cheerios.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Paperback is upset by this. Plays After you by Niechec and leaves the party.
Relinquished 08.07.13	sowing gets to grant one wish for every one present at the reception. andcas wishes to gangbang New Found Glory but sowing could only get Courtney Love.
InbredJed 08.07.13	Dom shows up, slaps Andcas and puts AIC on the turntable
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Oltnabrick is wearing some leopard print panties to go with his sweet fedora and steel toed boots.
ZilbelPing 08.07.13	The blood sacrifice begins when Wolf shows up. Wylie briefly drops what he's doing and joins, along with Wolfe and KILL
YakNips 08.07.13	YakNips wishes for a cute Australian girl
Inveigh 08.07.13	andcas hides, knowing that a human sacrifice is the only possible conclusion
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Gets Karnivool instead.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	ZibelPing does Courtney Love Gangnam style with sexual the assistance of Psy and the spiritual guidance of Tim Tebow.
ZilbelPing 08.07.13	before sacrifice, andcas wishes to perform one final piss. He tries to piss on sowing's new wife, but he intervenes by yelling "POP PUNK CANNOT BE SAVED" andcas, heartbroken, falls to the ground while Balls, Wolfe, Wolf, and KILL stab him to death, completely dismembering him and feeding him to a goat
Relinquished 08.07.13	the goat is dryden in disguise ire is still trying to suck his wag
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The Andcas Army, led by 12,500 Andcas's, avenge the fallen Andcas and proceed to go ham on some honey baked ham with another Andcas Army of 12,500 Andcas's.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	andcas kicks his remains out the goat.
YakNips 08.07.13	The Andcas Army is subsequently kicked out by andcas
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Thom Yorke receives an invitation to the wedding, somehow. Sends a Bodysnatcher instead.
Relinquished 08.07.13	against the 25,000 andcas army the greenhorn maniac is left to rely on his years of training to achieve the ultimate secret technique of the super judo chop
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The Andcas Army is now 125,000 strong and is in no shape or form of being kicked out by a single Andcas because all of a sudden the 125,000 Andcas army just turned into a 1,250,000,000 strong Andcas Army. Goodnight ya'll last post for the night.
YakNips 08.07.13	Balls is subsequently kicked out by andcas for stopping to post his amazing shit.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Nightmare leaves the party after seeing the army when searching for a keg of Scotch. Returns to Alaska empty handed.
ZilbelPing 08.07.13	Brandon calls upon the powers of Laura Stevenson and Regina Spektor to aid him in his buildup of super judo chop power. They spawn, smother him and he dies of overwhelming horny-ness.
RogueNine 08.07.13	Zebra, Kage, and other emeriti appear in glowing blue forms, much like deceased Jedi, and acknowledge that it was indeed a wedding to remember.
YakNips 08.07.13	Scoot arrives and his jaw line crashes the wedding
evilford 08.07.13	Animal control finally shows up
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	acad returns with a homeless hitchhiker and a hatchet (YOU KNOW THE NAME)
evilford 08.07.13	KILL arrives drunk wearing a denim exhorder jacket and asks where fade is
ZilbelPing 08.07.13	KILL's been here. He killed andcas
YakNips 08.07.13	KILL punches Yaks in the face for 5ing DGD and Cloudkicker
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	KILL gets kicked out by an undead andcas.
evilford 08.07.13	Then Pissbore says "that's not even bm bro"
SeaAnemone 08.07.13	the whole thing was a dream academy wakes up and realizes he needs to make another baseball list
evilford 08.07.13	KILL throws unopened can of PBR at evilford's head for not 5ing focus
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	he doesn't.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Maynard Keenan arrives to the wedding six hours late. Only announces that the next Tool album will come out in 2017.
YakNips 08.07.13	He is subsequently fucked in the ass by andcas.
chemicalmarriage 08.07.13	guinness book of world records shows up to document the most fags in one place in the history of the world.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Keenan is dragged out of the party by Daney Carey, the only one who isn't drunk.
bach 08.07.13	Yaknips throws caution to the wind with the aforemnetioned events and proceeds to write another 5 review for Ben Sharp.
YakNips 08.07.13	Yak hugs bach out of excitement, as he has missed him
chemicalmarriage 08.07.13	4 heavily armed suicide bombers show up to kill you all but realize you're already dead so they just go to waffle house.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Mozart is jealous. Tries to get his corpse to the wedding only to run into the Atlantic Ocean.
YakNips 08.07.13	curtains close
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Wait, that's it?
YakNips 08.07.13	Idk, I just thought chemical's statement was a good way to end this whole charade. Someone should animate all this into a story.
RogueNine 08.07.13	300 comments in; seems fitting to close the curtains.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	And then after there should be a sequel.
YakNips 08.07.13	That's for another time Nightmare. For another time.
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	Sooooo, who's a really good animator that's also a on Sputnik?
YakNips 08.07.13	I have absolutely no idea.
Irving 08.07.13	AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NightmareCinema16 08.07.13	So that's all the thundering noise with the rain outside the house. :\|
JokineAugustus 08.07.13	If Daniel Weyandt and Co. aren't there, I'll be severely disappointed.
intotheshit 08.07.13	Pit has sex with the bride again while andcas shits on the bridesmaid's chest.
oltnabrick 08.07.13	then every one pops a molly and starts to sweat
Rowan5215 08.07.13	Ctrl+F "kicked out by andcas"
amemento 08.07.13	i see somebody using a laptop and saying 'Control+F kicked out by andcas' out loud and start laughing at how shit his life is and assume that it's andcas
Rowan5215 08.07.13	I'm not andcas, I just thought it was funny how many times that was written in this thread.
DirEnRefused 08.07.13	rowan sits in the corner desperately salvaging the wedding's two bars of wifi. he aggressively glugs the last of his first appletini and screams "she'll never love you like i do". andcas kicked by out.
Rowan5215 08.07.13	Sweet, I get to join in.
ResidentNihilist 08.07.13	People die. The end.
Rowan5215 08.07.13	Sowing has a perfectly standard, heartwarming, and joyful wedding, not relating to any of his erstwhile crew of Sputnik in any shape or form.
jefflebowski 08.07.13	andcas kicks out the entire wedding before masturbating on the wedding cake and crying deeply
ResidentNihilist 08.07.13	andcas realises this thread is talking about him, reads it and goes 'hmm, some good ideas for my wedding.'
apert 08.07.13	the wedding cake doesn't swallow andcas' seed and is subsequently kicked out by andcas
jefflebowski 08.07.13	andcas summarily decides not even inanimate objects are good enough for him and hence performs IVF on himself
MO 08.07.13	lol balls and Wolfe killin it up in hurr
theacademy 08.07.13	who knew that andcas would be such a prominent figure in SowingSeason fanfiction
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	This wedding spawned the prolific and quite financially successful literary careers of said theacademy and Ballstothewall.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	theacademy and ballstothewall are wiping their asses with 100 dollar bills every time they take a shit on their platinum diamond encrusted toilet meanwhile Andcas and Manaic just moved to Boston to legalize their gay union.
jefflebowski 08.07.13	but then andcas reveals suddenly that he's a woman and so the trip was unnecessary all along
InfamousGrouse 08.07.13	everyone is enjoying the succulent banquet when Hawks clinks his glass with a spoon, stands up, pulls out a folded piece of paper from his suit pocket, and prepares to deliver a wonderful toast: it's actually just a list of digs
insomniac15 08.07.13	Jesus knocks Sowing down, steals the bride and hides in Guam. However, a cocaine-full Kanye in an attempt to finally replace Jesus, hunts him down and takes the bride as hostage.
jefflebowski 08.07.13	before all three are summarily kicked out by andcas
FrozenVain 08.07.13	FrozenVain enters the chaos but leaves rather quickly because he realizes that no one wants him there.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Andcas puts the lotion in the fucking basket.
Azn. 08.07.13	hodor
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Tribestos plays the skin flute of every gentleman attending the wedding.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Donald Duck goes on a Waffle House binge with Keyser Söze before tragedy suddenly falls upon the duo when they learn that the waffles they just ate contain massive traces of Pluto's feces.
JokineAugustus 08.07.13	Andcas gets kicked into the pit of death by your's truly, leaving the ever growing crowd to cry out with tears of joy.
jefflebowski 08.07.13	andcas gets into an furious argument with the assorted denizens of hell over the best wonder years album so he posts 567483 snarky youtube links and kicks everyone out
apert 08.07.13	andcas escapes the pit of death, JokineAugustus is subsequently kicked out by andcas. A bold jefflebowski questions why andcas didn't kick jokine in to the pit of death, he is also kicked out by andcas
ResidentNihilist 08.07.13	Hodor is kicked out by andcas.
SweetCloset 08.07.13	SweetCloset reveals his penis and everyone is in shock of its massive girth.
ThyCrossAwaits 08.07.13	Cross walks in, invitation-less, but he heard the noise from the street. Andcas is still clawing his way out of the pit of death, and human waste product is smeared across the venue. His eyes are immediately burned out by the glorious and sacred scene taking place before him. His corpse is subsequently kicked out by andcas.
JokineAugustus 08.07.13	Thor shows up, hammer in hand crying out how Colors is the best album ever. He than proceeds to pummel andcas with his hammer, but is kicked out by andcas before throwing down the finishing blow.
chemicalmarriage 08.07.13	jefflebowski is kicked out for using the word "snarky" because that's as un-dude as it fucking gets
chemicalmarriage 08.07.13	each and every one of you shit in the punchbowl until there is no punch left but just a steaming bowl of shit
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The Andcas Army saves the wedding from a furious battalion of Uruk-hai who are determined to steal SowingSeason's wife by any means necessary.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Jean Claude Van Damme roundhouse kicks Andcas in the face, Andcas however just shrugs the kick off and falcon punches Van Damme into outer space.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Laika comes back to life for the sole purpose of pissing on RecSpecs face.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Metta World Peace stages a basketball clinic with Ronald McDonald before the bride and broom cut their cake.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	A forlorn beaver, distraught over the fact that a drunken Andcas destroyed his home on the way to the wedding gains revenge by multiplying into 12 beavers and giving Andcas 12 beaver boston pancakes.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The Andcas Army takes off their clothing and slow dances with each other to ABBA's Dancing Queen.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Poet gives Roy Kahn a blumpkin on top of the church.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Klap falls off the wagon and turns into a 6 foot tall walking, talking can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	SeaAnenome and Chan hold hands by the lake as Iluvtar kneels on the earth an bellows WHY GODDDDDD....WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	3 carrier pigeons named Richard, Henry and Dick Sickles kick Andcas out of the party.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Touche Amore gets swallowed by a massive human eating, pizza limbed tuba who has a pretty sweet Charlie Chaplin mustache.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The clown has a retractable penis which is to Andcas's liking.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Maniac! judo chops himself into Melissa Etheridge.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The Andcas Army starts wearing corpsepaint and plays the most brutal yet morosely upbeat fusion of black metal and pop punk ever.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Julius Caesar gets Andcassed by Andcas.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	Taxidermist evolves into a Golem, proving that there's more than meets the eye to a fluffy, lovable fat man.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	A gay pride rally at the wedding turns into a Walrus.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	The walrus turns into Golden Corral which turns into Bilbo Baggins which turns into a giant Cthulhu shaped monolith which turns into a 30 foot baby who shits all over the place cauysing Andcas to break a hip.
BallsToTheWall 08.07.13	I leave this thread temporarily to do big nigga shit.
ThyCrossAwaits 08.07.13	"I Am the Walrus" plays Balls out.
insomniac15 08.07.13	even so, SputnikMusic will live on.
Hyperion1001 08.07.13	someguest gets drunk and decides to hit on maniac because of a joint interest all things posthxc but unbeknownst to him maniac still thinks dont ask dont tell is in effect and judo chops him to death
ffs 08.07.13	the families and friends of sowingseason and his husband to be wonder amongst themselves why there are so many miscellaneous greasy weirdos present talking about some russian satellite
RogueNine 08.07.13	ffs has spoken, there is no need to continue.
Masochist 08.07.13	Sowingseason wakes up from his dream, wondering why the hell he would ever invite Sputnikers to his wedding.
FrozenVain 08.07.13	Deus Ex Machina ending? Laaame
intotheshit 08.07.13	SowingSeason sits up in bed and notices his face is all crusty. Pit stands next to his bed, smiling, with his cock in hand.
apert 08.07.13	SowingSeason wakes up again at the wedding, discovering the experience with Pit was in fact just a dream, he is promptly kicked out by andcas for sleeping
JokineAugustus 08.07.13	Closed For Moderating!
jefflebowski 08.07.13	then the horrific realization dawns.. 'soylent green is andcas!'
parksungjoon 12.14.20	sup fourth

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