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Irrational Fears

Some people, like me, have really obsessive and internally conflicting personalities. I feel that it's a pain in the arse inside my head because I'm always a victim of my own thoughts - to the extent that I am often worried about things I shouldn't be. Here are some of my irrational/fairly unfounded fears that I jostle with from time to time.
1Smashing Pumpkins
Siamese Dream

Hair Loss - this is probably the worst, and I don't understand why I can't get over it. I have a
full head of hair and juvenile hairline but for some reason I'm always checking my hair and
making wild assumptions about if and when I'll start losing hair or whatever. I don't know
why or how this started, but I can't shake this obsessive tendency. It is totally irrational and
unfounded yet it consumes me. This has been going on for over a year now, I'm fucking sick
of it.
2Jeff Buckley

Dying young - when I'm in a positive mindset and appreciating all I have, I tend to think
I've got it too good and as a consequence, maybe I'll die young, like 30 or something. I
think this is borne out of the observation that everybody has drawbacks in their life and the
people who have it really good, either they've had to suffer from something terrible or they
just die early.
3Nine Inch Nails
The Downward Spiral

Death of a relative - Whenever I have any sort of disagreement or conflict, I can't help but
worry "what if they died and I never got the chance to apologise or we never made up". Or I
think, "what if they found out they had cancer". This would be the most awful fucking thing
ever, I think. Another of the recurring thoughts I can't shake.
4Ludwig van Beethoven
Late String Quartets

Losing my hearing - I already have around 30% loss, which is progressive, so sometimes I
think about the probability that I'll be deaf by the time I'm 50. It's an issue (and rather
ironic) because music is my absolute greatest passion, and although I could get cochlea
implants, it's well documented that people with them can't process music as people with
natural hearing do, so they don't really enjoy it anymore.
Koi No Yokan

Crippling accidents - this is only a minor one, but sometimes I have a sense of foreboding
when stepping into a car, because it only takes one little mistake on either your part or the
part of another driver to fuck you over for life. The same thing with bikes of any sort. It's
not a consuming feeling, just a thought that pops into my head from time to time.
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