Recspecs
06.23.12 | Tell me about your problems. |
Hipster9000
06.23.12 | Nobody understands me or my musical taste. |
KILL
06.23.12 | fuck u |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "Nobody understands me or my musical taste."
Stop listening to La Dispute, there is a start. |
briefeclipse
06.23.12 | I'm a brony. |
Adabelle
06.23.12 | My pie chart tells me i am 38% emo :((((( |
MentalMasturbation
06.23.12 | I masturbate every fucking day. |
ConcubinaryCode
06.23.12 | I have herpes. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I'm a brony."
Listen to 5.
"My pie chart tells me i am 38% emo :((((("
Listen to 5 and seal the deal and pray to God that Real Madrid sign Emile Heskey.
"I masturbate every fucking day."
Is that a problem?
"I have herpes."
Go to your local pharmacist and he will prescribe you what you need. Wear a rubber next time. |
Lelle
06.23.12 | I cannot think of anything enjoyable to do during the summer holidays that doesn't involve a computer or staying inside. Except walking but it's getting old |
Futashy
06.23.12 | I have an unhealthy addiction to females with strap-ons |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I cannot think of anything enjoyable to do during the summer holidays that doesn't involve a computer or staying inside. Except walking but it's getting old"
Watch black lesbian porn. Jerking off to that will make you athletic and you will be able to go to any park and play basketball with the realest niggas. |
WheDie
06.23.12 | I beat de Whe De. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I have an unhealthy addiction to females with strap-ons"
Get buttfucked by a bunch of dudes, it should curb your desires. |
Lelle
06.23.12 | "Watch black lesbian porn. Jerking off to that will make you athletic and you will be able to go to any park and play basketball with the realest niggas."
That still involves the computer though!!!!!!!!!!111 But good advice I might do it |
Futashy
06.23.12 | I don't know any dude ):
Can you help me ;D |
Trebor.
06.23.12 | I really want to play Crash: Warped but I can't find it |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "Can you help me ;D"
That isn't my style, just commit a crime and go to prison where all of your wildest assfucking fantasies come true! |
Pentagon
06.23.12 | My last.fm hasnt been working properly for over a week :( |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "i think recspecs hates me, can you help me"
Listen to 5.
"I really want to play Crash: Warped but I can't find it"
Visit your local Gamestop/Wal-Mart/Home Depot.
"My last.fm hasnt been working properly for over a week :("
Ughh do I look like a fucking technician? |
Pentagon
06.23.12 | my dicks 12 inches and it gets awkward when i get a boner cuz all the girls cant stop ogling and all the boys are jealous of me plz help |
Kellerdeck
06.23.12 | I can't chill with Rest anymore. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "my dicks 12 inches and it gets awkward when i get a boner cuz all the girls cant stop ogling and all the boys are jealous of me plz help"
Just take off your pants and say,"Quit staring bitches and suck it." Works every time ask Henry Rollins. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I can't chill with Rest anymore."
Good fuck off and get a life. |
Kellerdeck
06.23.12 | lol. Blow my non existent dick Recspecs. |
taxidermist
06.23.12 | I'm a freak. I like spanking and whips and shit. Am I sick? |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.23.12 | I can't seem to find this old Windows 95(I think) game where you act as a small 2D platoon. Seriously, I've been looking for this for ages. During the start up screen, you see your little platoon walking by hill thats covered in cross-headstones. |
DurzoBlint
06.23.12 | The viagra I took is not losing its affect (effect? affect?)... either way my boner won't go and it
has been 9 hours now :E |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I'm a freak. I like spanking and whips and shit. Am I sick?"
No, it is actually quite normal. I am a doctor after all! |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I can't seem to find this old Windows 95(I think) game where you act as a small 2D platoon. Seriously, I've been looking for this for ages. During the start up screen, you see your little platoon walking by hill thats covered in cross-headstones."
Ughh do I look like a fucking technician?
"The viagra I took is not losing its affect (effect? affect?)... either way my boner won't go and it has been 9 hours now :E"
Get to the emergency room NOW. |
taxidermist
06.23.12 | Thanks doctor. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | That's what I'm here for! |
silentstar
06.23.12 | I have a philosophy exam that I don't feel like studying for |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I have a philosophy exam that I don't feel like studying for"
This should help you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQuR8LVKhUE |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.23.12 | "Ughh do I look like a fucking technician?"
Now that you put it like that, I suppose you don't. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "Now that you put it like that, I suppose you don't."
Exactly fuck off and ask auberginedreams about your gay problems. |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I'm so hard for you, I want to rip off your clothes and piss on your tits!"
Say please and I am all yours. |
Blackbelt54
06.23.12 | Standard riff comment
I get bored when I have too much free time and I don't know what to do with myself |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "Sorry I was quoting a TV show I'm not interested."
Are you sure you weren't watching a porno? |
GuanoBumbershoot
06.23.12 | "Exactly fuck off and ask auberginedreams about your gay problems."
Will do, ya dehydrated puss ;) |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "I get bored when I have too much free time and I don't know what to do with myself"
Buy a 30 pack of Keystone and drink yourself to sleep or make a shitty sputnik list like I did. |
undertakerpt
06.23.12 | Doctor, how do I get my gf to lick my bum hole? |
Scoot
06.23.12 | i spend my days staring at girls in math class |
Hyperion1001
06.23.12 | i think this list is gay solution plz |
Recspecs
06.23.12 | "i spend my days staring at girls in math class"
Stalk her and rape/murder her, or make a bunch of lists on sputnik about it and when you get flamed for it delete all your lists.
"Doctor, how do I get my gf to lick my bum hole?"
Ask nicely, but is she still says nice line your anus with white chocolate. All girls love white chocolate.
"i think this list is gay solution plz"
Assfuck the creator of the list. |
Relinquished
06.23.12 | I have 0Atk/0Def and am ritual sexy man |
undertakerpt
06.23.12 | How do I get the world to like Gentle Giant? |
Scoot
06.23.12 | "my dicks 12 inches"
did the 10 year old you showed it to tell you that? |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "I have 0Atk/0Def and am ritual sexy man"
State your query in the form of a problem please.
"How do I get the world to like Gentle Giant?"
The world will never like Gentle Giant, fuck off. |
undertakerpt
06.24.12 | How do I get you to like Gentle Giant? |
Tyrael
06.24.12 | Recspecs I love you what do |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | I feel at times like I'm in love with my best friend and I just don't know what to do. She flirts with me sometimes and such but I don't react... like a dumbass...and then she won't for a while and other times when I flirt with her she doesn't respond back or tells me to stop being weird. That's about as simple as I can describe it ...but it's definitely not. |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "I feel at times like I'm in love with my best friend and I just don't know what to do. She flirts with me sometimes and such but I don't react... like a dumbass...and then she won't for a while and other times when I flirt with her she doesn't respond back or tells me to stop being weird. That's about as simple as I can describe it ...but it's definitely not."
Okay time to be serious for a second no lie, this exact same thing is happening to me and the sexual tension between us is so fucking tense it is crazy as hell. We have been best friends for at least ten years and I've known her for longer then that. She is cute and has a fat ass like GOTDAMN, if we fucked it would be furious as hell and crazy. I honestly couldn't tell you what to do man.
"Recspecs I love you what do"
Aww Ty ily |
undertakerpt
06.24.12 | She knows though if you fucked her you wouldnt be interested in her anymore and stop being friends. Im afraid your gonna have to wank mate |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "She knows though if you fucked her you wouldnt be interested in her anymore and stop being friends."
That's exactly it, I care too much about her to jeopardize our friendship. Oh well, that's life I suppose. |
undertakerpt
06.24.12 | Mmmhmm, now put on some gentle giant and spark up a nice fat one, aaaaaaahhh |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | I'll pass. |
Havey
06.24.12 | Hi doctor i'm Ron 41 From Australia, have been battleing porn addiction, have been doing this since middle school, I masturbate almost every week, sometimes more than that. is this normal? why do i do this..?? is there any hope/help 4 me..? |
undertakerpt
06.24.12 | Pass the spliff? Good man. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | I also feel like I care too much so that I don't endanger us as friends which results so that I can never make a 100% real move. And she has a kid and I've been there to help out as much as I can because the dad isn't really in the picture (a few days a month at most) and it would be sad if I couldn't simply be there for them even as just a friend.
It's so aggrivating I push myself away from her at times to try and stop having those feelings and thoughts but it doesn't help. |
undertakerpt
06.24.12 | "and she has a kid"
Fuck that shit mate |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "Hi doctor i'm Ron 41 From Australia, have been battleing porn addiction, have been doing this since middle school, I masturbate almost every week, sometimes more than that. is this normal? why do i do this..?? is there any hope/help 4 me..?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vTCzU4J0nE
"I also feel like I care too much so that I don't endanger us as friends which results so that I can never make a 100% real move. And she has a kid and I've been there to help out as much as I can because the dad isn't really in the picture (a few days a month at most) and it would be sad if I couldn't simply be there for them even as just a friend.
It's so aggrivating I push myself away from her at times to try and stop having those feelings and thoughts but it doesn't help."
I'm sorry dude :/ my situation isn't nearly as bad just two horny young adults lol. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | She's my best friend though I don't care about whether she has a kid or not and I don't feel attracted to her because I want to just fuck her. Little buddy's cool as fuck and getting to be there for someone since they could be held in your hands is cool. I'm not trying to play daddy (oh god typing that out confirms that) but I would be happy to help by just being there while pursuing the possibility of a relationship with her. I already do that anyway. |
undertakerpt
06.24.12 | @storm: i'd get out of there mate, if she wants a relationship with you, it would only be to use you. she cant be attracted to you cos she would have fucked you by now. get yourself a nice tight pre-child vagina instead
@cashnugz, give it up and take up a real mans drug, like toilet duck |
Wheelah
06.24.12 | I smoked weed for the first time Wednesday, and found out now I shared the pipe with somebody who has mono... Now I'm pretty sure I'll get it. What do? |
DraconForsaken
06.24.12 | "She's my best friend though I don't care about... I would be happy to help by just being there while pursuing the possibility of a relationship with her. I already do that anyway."
1. Do nothing. Sexual tension stays until she gets bored or finds another man.
2. Sex her. Ruin Friendship.
3. Ask her out. If rejected, stay low a few days/weeks, gradually resume platonic friendship if you want. If accepted, continue. Be nice to the kid.
1 Makes you a pussy. 2 makes you a dick. 3 is being honest.
"I smoked weed for the first time Wednesday, and found out now I shared the pipe with somebody who has mono... Now I'm pretty sure I'll get it. What do?"
Play Amnesia: The Dark Decent, and drink espressos. If symptoms last longer then 10 days see a real doctor. Next time don't be a dumbass. |
jdennis31
06.24.12 | @GuanoBumbershoot Cannon Fodder. best dos game ever. |
Winrar
06.24.12 | I don't have enough Rush plays. |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "I want to suicide soon but I'm afraid I might hurt my parents' feelings if I do it, surely there must be an other way?"
Listen to 5 it should give you an interesting perspective.
"I have this internet friend who thinks he's a therapist. help."
Your friend is delusional and might suffer from schizophrenia or a multiple personality disorder. Confront him so he can get the professional help he needs.
"I don't have enough Rush plays."
Listen to more Rush faggot. |
IdiotequeCigar
06.24.12 | Problem 1 - I hate trolls
Problem 2 - I am a troll + problem 1
Problem 3 - I'm a rubbish troll |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "Problem 1 - I hate trolls
Problem 2 - I am a troll + problem 1
Problem 3 - I'm a rubbish troll"
Leave the site. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | "1. Do nothing. Sexual tension stays until she gets bored or finds another man.
2. Sex her. Ruin Friendship.
3. Ask her out. If rejected, stay low a few days/weeks, gradually resume platonic friendship if you want. If accepted, continue. Be nice to the kid."
LOL I'll take choice number 3 Bob |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | Don't listen to him Teacup I'm the trained professional that is just some lowlife hack faggot. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | Oh okay thank you I'm glad you said so before I did anything drastic. |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | Good now get a bottle of ibuprofen and take all the pills before night falls. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | That wouldn't do a whole to me lol. it'd have to be at least 10 loratabs
|
sterilevision
06.24.12 | Graveyard reporting me as an Alex Deck alt for being on the Rest thread is probs my biggest problem atm |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "Graveyard reporting me as an Alex Deck alt for being on the Rest thread is probs my biggest problem atm"
Fuck off and leave the site, problem solved. |
Sirob
06.24.12 | i went to a soccer game yesterday and enjoyed it. plz help me :( |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "i went to a soccer game yesterday and enjoyed it. plz help me :("
Wait, so what is the problem? |
Storm In A Teacup
06.24.12 | I'm banned for a year on the forum side of the site. Got a potion or anything? |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | "I'm banned for a year on the forum side of the site. Got a potion or anything?"
Hahahahaha, what did you do? And I guess I could prescribe you with some str pots. |
ShadowRemains
06.24.12 | "I have 0Atk/0Def and am ritual sexy man"
lol |
Recspecs
06.24.12 | turntable.fm/weekend_sputjams |
Maniac!
06.24.12 | http://turntable.fm/weekend_sputjams |
ShadowRemains
06.24.12 | fuk u and ur turntable |
Maniac!
06.24.12 | jealous foreigners |
Tyrael
06.24.12 | Brandon I thought u weren't gonna post here any moar |
VisionsFromTheDarkSide
06.24.12 | England's performance against Italy has left me feeling suicidal, what should I do? |
Spec
06.24.12 | I want to drink but its not a socially acceptable time of day :[ Help! |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | "England's performance against Italy has left me feeling suicidal, what should I do?"
Grab a beer, find a beautiful lanky woman, and cheer on the Germans as they win Euro 2012.
"I'm afraid of black doctors, help."
Can't blame you there, just only go to white doctors?
"I want to drink but its not a socially acceptable time of day :[ Help!"
Fuck society, drink!!
|
Spec
06.25.12 | drunk |
Spec
06.25.12 | in all seriousness though so much booze was consumed that your black ass would have been proud |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | Hell yeah man I made an ass out of myself last night, good times were had by all. |
Spec
06.25.12 | Its not the blackness, it was the Americanness. |
HitlerIsADeity
06.25.12 | dont fool yourself, it was his blackness. |
Spec
06.25.12 | whats your favourite band... van heilen? |
DotEight
06.25.12 | "van heilen?"
AHAH. |
HitlerIsADeity
06.25.12 | nah, angry aryans |
Ire
06.25.12 | fuck u |
Trebor.
06.25.12 | I have a narrow urethra and peggy won't absorb ma babby batter
|
Recspecs
06.25.12 | "I was talking about you recspecs. you better take your own advice."
After all we've been through :(
"I have a narrow urethra and peggy won't absorb ma babby batter"
Uhhhh
|
Spec
06.25.12 | hawt licks |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | Sober? |
Emim
06.25.12 | I ate a roll of lifesavers without unwrapping them and think I may be dying. |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | "I ate a roll of lifesavers without unwrapping them and think I may be dying."
Listen to "From Crib To Coffin" by Emery on repeat for at least an hour and you will live. |
Emim
06.25.12 | I just ended up punching myself in the throat repeatedly and it seems to have fixed the problem. |
Storm In A Teacup
06.25.12 | "Hahahahaha, what did you do? And I guess I could prescribe you with some str pots."
Probably they didn't like me posting in the med thread but I'm only assuming. I've got marijuana already if that's what your offering.
My doctoral advice for today is to not drink or smoke cigs you guyz. It interferes with your pineal gland. |
Emim
06.25.12 | pineal sounds like penis and i heard that smoking makes your dick fall off so i will stay far away |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | "4 isnt leaked is it"
I haven't found a link yet, but if I do I'll give it to you.
"My doctoral advice for today is to not drink or smoke cigs you guyz. It interferes with your pineal gland."
Who the hell are you to come into my office and disrespect my work!?!?
|
omnipanzer
06.25.12 | "I feel at times like I'm in love with my best friend and I just don't know what to do. She flirts with me sometimes and such but I don't react... like a dumbass...and then she won't for a while and other times when I flirt with her she doesn't respond back or tells me to stop being weird. That's about as simple as I can describe it ...but it's definitely not."
"Okay time to be serious for a second no lie, this exact same thing is happening to me and the sexual tension between us is so fucking tense it is crazy as hell. We have been best friends for at least ten years and I've known her for longer then that. She is cute and has a fat ass like GOTDAMN, if we fucked it would be furious as hell and crazy. I honestly couldn't tell you what to do man."
Figure out a way to stop thinking about her like that or ask her out otherwise you'll drag it out unnecessarily forever. If you let her know how you feel expect that it may be the end of the friendship but the torture will be over and you feel better for having gotten it off your chest. On the other hand it may allow you to reach the next level in your relationship. Be careful of what you wish for though because it could turn out to be a disaster too. The two of you may just not be compatible in that way, I've seen it happen. |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | "Figure out a way to stop thinking about her like that or ask her out otherwise you'll drag it out unnecessarily forever. If you let her know how you feel expect that it may be the end of the friendship but the torture will be over and you feel better for having gotten it off your chest. On the other hand it may allow you to reach the next level in your relationship. Be careful of what you wish for though because it could turn out to be a disaster too. The two of you may just not be compatible in that way, I've seen it happen."
Damn, you can have my job! |
Storm In A Teacup
06.25.12 | Panzer is the new Sarazine |
Recspecs
06.25.12 | Hey I'm a trained professional who makes six figures buddy. |
