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Closure in Moscow

Closure in Moscow is a band based in Melbourne,Australia, formed in 2006.The band’s sound has notably evolved since their earlypost-hardcore roots in The Penance and thePatience; now, they play a moreexperimentalprogressive rock style, evident in their recent release,Pink Lemonade.The band consists of guitarist and vocalist MannyZennelli, lead vocalist Chris De Cinque, drummerSalvatore Aidone, bassist Duncan Millar,and guitaristMichael Barrett.Mission Statement:We have coalesced before you on this earthly plane tochew bubblegum and kick ass. We aren’t out ofbubblegum eithe ...read more

Closure in Moscow is a band based in Melbourne,Australia, formed in 2006.The band’s sound has notably evolved since their earlypost-hardcore roots in The Penance and thePatience; now, they play a moreexperimentalprogressive rock style, evident in their recent release,Pink Lemonade.The band consists of guitarist and vocalist MannyZennelli, lead vocalist Chris De Cinque, drummerSalvatore Aidone, bassist Duncan Millar,and guitaristMichael Barrett.Mission Statement:We have coalesced before you on this earthly plane tochew bubblegum and kick ass. We aren’t out ofbubblegum either… We’ve putmeasures in place toensure we have a steady supply, ready for chewing assoon as the flavor of the pieces in our mouths hasdepleted.Now, considering our tireless jaws burn throughpackets faster than you can say ‘butt menagerie’, youmight be thinking “these fools can’tmaintain that level ofconsumption, purchasing their gum at the recommendedretail price!? I’ve done the math and even if theywerepurchasing that cheap crap imported fromBangladesh, the stuff that’s 15% bonemeal, they’d bebroke and bubbleless in a matter of weeks,whatgives!?”… To this we say: ARE YOU PAYING FUCKINGATTENTION?? DID YOU NOT READ THE PART ABOVEABOUT THE MEASURES WE’VEPUT IN PLACE??? Allowus to elaborate… After some intense negotiations, wecame to an agreement with the Abbott government, thejargon-free gist of this agreement being all our gumpurchases are heavily subsidized so long as we placesubliminal messages in all futurerecordings. Thesemessages are designed to encourage impressionableyoung listeners to vote for the Australian Liberal Party,whilstmaintaining the facade that the band is a bastionfor progressive, leftist thinking, promoting weekendshamanism, fashion conscious activismand variousother new age, masturbatory endeavors. This agreementhas come to be known as ‘Operation Bug-Zapper’ to thevariouscorporate cabals and shadow organizations thatdictate how us plebs live our lives.We hear you asking another question… “If what yousguyses is saying is trueses… Why the hell would youshare this information in a publicforum such as your ownwebsite!?”. Oh you sweet, naive cob of corn… WHO THEFUCK READS A BAND’S MISSION STATEMENT ONTHEIRWEBSITE?!? There’s no one here except for youand the other out of touch droogs, clinging to thevestiges of what a band’s online presencewas circa2002. Expect an unmarked van rocking up to yourlocation shortly to whisk you away for what you nowknow… Quick, say goodbyeto the loved ones in yourimmediate vicinity! Didn’t you get the fax? It’s all aboutsocial media now… If you don’t have a Facebook profileforyour local business/company/brand/band/cause,well, quite simply, it DON’T EXIST. If it isn’t trending upand down the twittersphere it’s notworth mentioning. Wemust rejoice in the Orwellian uniformity of astandardized profile from which we can expressourselves and display ourpersonality in an abbreviated,neatly segmented format. Don’t you feel like you’llfucking vomit if you see another profile header thatreadssomething like “Dipshit Mc Derp | 24 | Meerkats |Aspiring Breatharian | Cum-swapping”? If the answer isyes then join us in our quest forsubversive dominion overthis big ole brown planet.We are here to combat the insidious narcissism that isslowly but surely pervading our collective subconscious,here to crop-dust apathy withthe sexy flavor of the allnew Diet Agent Orange™. We are here to compel you todance your ass off in a trance of bliss, all thewhilemorphing your reality tunnel in such a way that yourperspective just might change on some shit… Nothing istrue, everything is permitted.We are here to stand tall,ugly around the edges, take up arms and MELT. EVERY.FUCKING. FACE. OFF… (The good kind ofmetaphorical,aurally induced melting, not the horrible,body disposing, acidic kind.)Amen « hide

Similar Bands: Coheed and Cambria, The Mars Volta, Thank You Scientist, Bent Knee, The Dear Hunter

LPs
Pink Lemonade
2014

3.7
387 Votes
First Temple
2009

3.9
832 Votes
EPs
The Penance and the Patience
2008

3.8
333 Votes

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