I make no excuses for my love of black metal. It’s just “my thing” musically. While I am a fan of many different genres and styles of music I always seem to find my way back to the satanic side of things for a little casual listening. I can sit and talk about it for hours. I know all the names, people, places and albums that are important and influential. I know where I stand on the Burzum vs. Mayhem debate. I like old Darkthrone, new Darkthrone, and I’m not particularly fussy on mid-career Darkthrone. If black metal were a sport, I would be one of those guys who knows all the stats and annoys the hell out of you with information not you, nor anyone else, needs or wants to know.
Lately, I have watched my subgenre of subgenres start to crumble sadly apart… stupid people bickering over what is “Kvlt” and “Tr00” which are terms it pains me even to type… “Depressive” black metal that mostly makes me pray for the swift and successful suicides of the band members dominating what is left of the “scene”… awful, hacky basement teenagers who have confused an inability to play an instrument with atmosphere… Dimmu Borgir fans…
With all these hurdles, continuing to find decent black metal is a lot like climbing Mt. Everest. Sure it feels good once you reach the summit, but most of the climb is spent thinking; “Why bother?”
But, those of us out there who are still devoted to the real feel of Black Metal will always find that elusive “other band”; the underground gem that reminds us why it is important to sift through the kvltster trash. Bestial Mockery is one of those bands and “Evoke the Desecrator” is the swift kick in the vag that Mother Mary was asking for.
This album is a simple, no bull***, black metal assault. No keyboards, no twelve minute songs (which isn’t a bad thing when done right… I am a ravenous Burzum fan after all), no titles with the word “Welkin” thrown in. Just ten barely 3 minute songs of harsh, dirty, punk fuelled, anti-christian ferocity. I think a recent release we can use as a close comparison point would be a much better version of Nattefrost’s “Terrorist” album. The punk approach to the song writing gives this album a very old-school feel. While not as tongue-in-cheek, it sonically is much closer to early Venom’s punk infused vibe than the sparse tremolo picked minimalism of “Transylvanian Hunger” era Darkthrone. The lyrical content is despicable; puerile, ultra blasphemous satanic nonsense spewed out by the criminally insane Master Motorsag. No verbose delivery or complicated thought-provoking conceptual themes, just straight up filth! I mean come on… ‘Necroslut’? It is exactly what you think it is. This will undoubtedly send most pseudointellectual black metal fans sprinting to the nearest church to repent! Remember Sarcofago? Blasphemy? Von?... Bestial Mockery sure as hell do!
Oh yeah… I think I may have forgotten to mention… there are chainsaw solos! That’s right bitches! Chainsaw Sooollloooooos! You may be asking yourself “Gee, Mr. Cha0te, this album sounds nice ‘n all but chainsaws? Why, there’s nothing tr00 or medieval about chainsaws… why chainsaws?” Well kiddos, the answer is simple: Clearly, if Christ had been martyred in 2003, we would’ve taken a chainsaw to him. Seriously, thinking about this album reminds of the first time I saw “Army of Darkness” when I was a kid. Yeah, it’s kind of stupid… but that’s not the point! The point is that when thrown together properly, stop-motion animated skeleton armies, pit-dwelling google-eyed rubber mask monster men, “ok she-bitch; let’s dance” scripting and, well, Bruce Campbell are awesome in a way that slick, preachy, Avatar pretention can never be. ‘Evoke the Desecrator’ is like that too. It’s a stop-motion animated, google-eyed, Bruce Campbell skeleton wizard. Get this now and lay waste to your good sense!
