Review Summary: Short, but not as sweet as advertised
If you turned on a radio, opened a streaming app, or glanced at social media this past summer, you’ve likely heard Sabrina’s Carpenter’s name
a lot. She’s become one of the most prevalent mainstream artists of 2024 thanks to ‘Espresso’ and ‘Please Please Please’ – two breezy pop singles radiating with personality and quiet confidence. This led Sabrina’s sixth full-length LP to become her most highly anticipated to-date, and rightfully so…after all, both tracks are certified bops. In just about every way, it felt like this was her time to evolve from a budding talent to a full-fledged superstar. Her
moment had finally arrived.
There’s just one problem – the album is incredibly mediocre.
Outside of ‘Espresso’ and ‘Please Please Please’,
Short n’ Sweet has very little to offer its audience. Whereas ‘Espresso’ was able to pass off borderline nonsensical lyrics as cool and carefree, the writing here largely falters otherwise. The goal of pop does not always need to be transcendent lyricism, but when it is actively
bad, it detracts from the experience. Case in point: ‘Bed Chem’ is overflowing with awkward puns: “I bet we'd have really good
come (‘cum’?) right on me, I mean camaraderie” / “Where art thou? Why not uponeth me?” Elsewhere, ‘Slim Pickins’ comes across as a bizarre anthem/admission to settling and/or leading on someone who is below your personal standards: “A boy who's jacked and kind, can't find his ass to save my life / Oh, it's slim pickings / If I can't have the one I love, I guess it's you that I'll be kissin' / Just to get my fixings.” Sabrina sings on about other girls tasting her when they kiss their men, masturbating to Leonard Cohen, and letting a guy impregnate her (“make me
Juno”) if he “loves her right”. None of it feels fun or flirty, or witty/ironic; I’d simply characterize
Short n’ Sweet as a weird and uncomfortable listen. In many ways, it would have been better for her to keep chasing down the lyrical approach of ‘Espresso’, because “that's that me espresso” is a line you can at least chalk up as pointless fun, brush it aside, and move on.
Much of this could have been excused if
Short n’ Sweet was full of bops on a similar level as the two lead singles, but instead the album is almost unanimously hookless. Aside from ‘Don’t Smile’s dreamy, downbeat rhythm – which really is quite spellbinding and reminiscent of Miley Cyrus’ ‘Rose Colored Lenses’ or Madeline Kenney’s ‘Reality Mind’ – I’m struggling to recall a single other moment that made a positive impact. ‘Taste’ is upbeat enough, replete with “la la la”’s and handclaps, but it otherwise passes by without making a mark. The same could be said for ‘Good Graces’, which manages to overcome “I don't waste a second, I know lots of guys / You do somethin' suspect, this cute ass bye-bye” with Sabrina’s superb vocals and quirky delivery of the line. Unfortunately, it culminates in aimless trap beats and a repetitive “I won't give a fuck about you” refrain. Most of the LP’s second half falls into the category of bland balladry, with ‘Coincidence’ throwing in a token acoustic guitar that sounds mightily out of place, ‘Dumb & Poetic’ offering a glimpse of what Olivia Rodrigo might sound like if she lost all of her edge, and ‘Lie to Girls’ reminding us how much damage Jack Antonoff can do to an otherwise okay song. Overall, it’s a very disappointing outcome – especially considering Carpenter’s penchant for crafting fun, vibrant melodies. Even when
Short n’ Sweet manages to sidestep cringeworthy lyrics, it tends to stumble with either low-energy ballads or uptempo tracks that fail to make any sort of musical impression.
The funny thing about pop is that despite how weak this effort is as a complete album,
Short n’ Sweet will probably serve as a breakout moment for Carpenter anyway. Singles tend to dictate the course of the mainstream music industry, and ‘Espresso’/‘Please Please Please’ are each strong enough in their own respective ways to carry Sabrina to stardom and keep her there for years to come. It’s just a shame that the rest of this record couldn’t live up to those efforts, because anything worthwhile to be gleaned from this particular era of Sabrina Carpenter’s career has already been out and heard a hundred times over. Where does that leave those eager to consume her most recent full-length? Well, despite all of the promise leading up to this release, it's not quite as sweet as advertised.
