Review Summary: TMI
So basically this album is some kind of awesome thing. Some kind of Amorphis meets Opeth and Katatonia but only the most metal moments. The metal is pure doomy energy, which means it fills a room with super scary dark clouds of evil satanicness. If you tried to light a candle the Satan guitars will come and stomp on that ***. This is actually a fact, because the guitars go that hard. You know the seismic, crushing tsunami guitars that Draconian do? Well, no one can match Draconian but this comes close to slapping a few raw asses that were not ready for the treatment. I also wanna say that this album has that spooky vibe like Night Eternal from Moonspell. But this doesn’t sound cheesy at all, it’s just pure epicness like getting free money from the government. The growls are equally bombastic, self serving, and could slice through an ice cream cake quickly! Literally everything is fire.
The album is repetitive. You’ll get the same thing over and over again like the first song is on repeat. If you like the first song you’ll like the album. If you think the first track is mediocre, you’ll think the album is just okay. The cycle continues and spirals until you either bow before the album or don’t. This is for real metalheads though, just trust the process.
In reality I made this review because I was bored. Much like how I listened to this album and then was not bored, so was the review process. In total, you might say the album made my life better. Well, at the very least it brightened my painfully dull day full of chores and grown up boring dumb ass ***. Maybe it will for you too? Who knows, idc, I’m just here to pad my review count so I can reach 600 reviews before I die, and then I will die as a Sputnik god. That being said, my life is still 2.5/5. Oof.
