Morgan Wallen
One Thing At A Time


1.5
very poor

Review

by Hugh G. Puddles STAFF
June 7th, 2023 | 93 replies


Release Date: 03/03/2023 | Tracklist

Review Summary: I hate that I love the way them kisses taste like whiskey

From what I’ve gathered of the one-hundred-and-twelve minutes of his algorithmically consistent third studio album, Morgan Wallen is a Tennessee singer-songman whose professed day-by-day involves partaking in swarthy extremes of country-country-COUNTRY, picking up the most attractive ticket to heartbreak who expresses even fleeting interest in the #lifestyle, marinating his larynx in copious quantities of whiskey when she inevitably ditches him, pondering Jesus when the whole thing starts to feel a little hollow, and then immediately writing a new song to reset the cycle before any meaningful insight can come of this. The man writes a lot of songs - and his boatload of co-writers don’t seem to be able to mitigate that this album’s cycle of themes is not so much vicious as circuitous to the point of infantility. One Thing at a Time recycles themes like a Sysphean bender, yet where cycles traditionally correspond to one another through subtle differences, the entirety of this tracklist feels devastatingly interchangeable - anyone looking for an overarching or profound personal narrative had better leave their hopes in the, uh, truck. There [i]are[i] differences, mind you, but these depend entirely on how much value you attach to Wallen alternating his musings on, say, romance through such lenses as baseball (“‘98 Braves”), interstate rivalry (“Tennessee Fan”) and the concentration of alcohol on the breath of belle-of-the-hour (“180 (Lifestyle)”, “Cowgirls”, “Single Than She Was”).

The album’s music is a similar story, theoretically well-equipped with its slick production and generous emphasis on slide guitar, yet so heartlessly procedural in its composition and homogenous in its tempo that its encapsulation of the country Experience misses the elation and dynamism of wind-in-your-hair and ends up far more cholesterol-in-your-burger. First single “You Proof” was presumably selected because its acoustic (!) fingersnaps (!) equip it as the only song on the record with so much as a hint of instrumental flourish. Even the album’s trap influence is disturbingly unobtrusive (see “I Wrote the Book”), as short on character as the rest of this factory-assembled country-pop cash cow (do not research this album’s commercial accolades if you value your faith in the US public). It’s not entirely without highlights - “Outlook”’s instrumental has a particularly nice twang to it, while “Last Drive Down Main” lays down a decent opening melody - yet after 36 songs’ extrapolation of approximately four songs’ worth of ideas, the record ends so abruptly that you’ll conceivably question whether or not your streaming app has glitched out. If this is indeed the case, chalk it up as a small mercy.



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user ratings (26)
2.3
average


Comments:Add a Comment 
InfernalDeity
Contributing Reviewer
June 7th 2023


597 Comments


I have somehow managed to avoid Mr. Wallen. This review makes me want to keep it that way.

Snake.
June 7th 2023


25253 Comments


this guy is a walking chode

Ryus
June 7th 2023


36675 Comments


this prob rules

Sunnyvale
Staff Reviewer
June 7th 2023


5858 Comments


Johnny reviewing Morgan Wallen, the wonders never cease!

Ryus
June 7th 2023


36675 Comments


"one-hundred-and-twelve minutes" wait nvm jesus christ

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
June 7th 2023


60325 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Ryus peep Whiskey Friends and come back to us with that optimism

Ryus
June 7th 2023


36675 Comments


my optimism already dissipated when i read the first line of the review


tbh that song is not that bad tho lmao probably like a strong 2

porcupinetheater
June 7th 2023


11028 Comments


ryus going to bat for butt country is not the arc I was ready for

hesperus
June 7th 2023


1455 Comments


your description of this album sounds like my own personal hell

Havey
June 7th 2023


12073 Comments


butt country rules though

Havey
June 7th 2023


12073 Comments


whiskey friends is good btw, unsurprisingly johnny has no idea how to listen to this genre!

porcupinetheater
June 7th 2023


11028 Comments


Classical (30%)
Experimental (29%)
Jazz (18%)
Folk (6%)
Ambient (4%)
Electronic (4%)
Death Metal (4%)
Butt Country (69%)
Keith Whitley (0%)

DadKungFu
Staff Reviewer
June 7th 2023


4739 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Not all that bad for bro country tbh just bloated to high heaven

Ryus
June 7th 2023


36675 Comments


whiskey will do that

Snake.
June 7th 2023


25253 Comments


harvey

JohnnyoftheWell
Staff Reviewer
June 7th 2023


60325 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

harvey this is not your retirement centre

YoYoMancuso
Staff Reviewer
June 7th 2023


18856 Comments


what’s the slur count on this bad boy

porcupinetheater
June 7th 2023


11028 Comments


Guess is 0 on record to keep it forever on the billboard charts and prob about 50 per day (conservatively, just like everything else with this fuck) in the recording studio

Meborphus
June 7th 2023


179 Comments


my wife likes this album, should I end it all

DadKungFu
Staff Reviewer
June 7th 2023


4739 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Nah just means she most likely doesn’t have a personality disorder



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