All right now... if noone here had heard of krimplets kids i would not be surprised. I bought his album from a yard sale with nothing but this cover with carrots on it,,, i ahd had stick it in the comp to find out what the songs names are. I will do a T.B.T. just because there is no way to do another review for this cd because it is just odd. Crimplets Kids have very... Bizarre songs. There is solid instrumentals but the lyrics are severely unimpressive but sometimes quite amusing, Honestly this is just a stupid album but quite enjoyably. Thank god that they never went anywhere with music...Imagine nothing but Blink-182's joke songs. Here we go! Yehaw!
Pretty Fat Girl: 3.5/5
This song starts with a bouncy bass riff and then comes ins some screechy singing... " She's a pretty girl! She's a fat girl! Pretty fat girl!" at this point you are worried about how this album is gonna go but its really funny. Decent guitar work make this an ok track.
A Liver For Jesus: 4/5
One of my favorites This is just a bass and drum track. It goes " its ok to have your heart for jesus! Its ok to wear a sweater... its ok to have a heart for jesus! But a liver... is better! Plunky drums and bass are kinda fun. I have no idea what the hell these guys are talking about most of the time though. Here is where i began to think that this must be a homemade album.. or something.
Ohhhh!(orgasma):2.5/5
Ok in this one it seems that the bass has been taken out and replaced with a tuba... or some other low horn. Mostly a sync track with a pumping beat i call this the orgasm song simply because the only words are "OOHHH! OHHH! ORGASMA! OHHH OHH! ORGASMA!" thoroughly amusing but really damn stupid.
Farts For the Pope: 5/5
I simply cannot stop laughing at this song... if you can call it that. It starts out with the singer saying... "this is for the pope of the catholic church" After this there is seriously nothing but farting for a minute and thirty seconds... no drums, no guitars, no bass. Sheer farting nonsense. I about peed myself on this one.
I loved Her a little: 3/5
I loved her a little is the closest thing to a "love song" but its really bad if it s. It starts like ballad with just and acoustic and simple drumming and seems fairly decent as he sings of a girl that he once loved.... standard fair. This makes you wonder why it is titled "i loved her a little." you find out though cause at the end the music stops and he sings in a sweet voice. "i loved her a little bit... but she smelled like ***. :D this is got to be the stupidest album on the planet now... but i wouldn't give it up for anything.
The Pink Baby:4/5
This is actually a great track instrument wise... it starts with a really insane bass riff going all over the place and then fast drumming and a wailing guitar and just never lets up. It sings of a baby who was born to a blind woman but they told her it was pink a=so she killed it because people weren't supposed to be pink though... so its stupid garbage lyrically... still funny though. best instrumentals on the entire album but almost the worst wording.
My First Time:3.5/5
Telling about this guys "first time" its a really bizarre one as well. The instruments area bland and unspectacular but it really shines through with words like "it was my very first time i ever got laid, she was pretty damn hot and she had to get paid" then it gets sick " we got into eh bed and i took off her shirt... she was flat chested but that don't hurt.. but then i pulled up her skirt... that aint no puss there under that skirt!" ewww....
Beat Me: 4/5
A mellow slow song this is really the only serious on the album... well i mean maybe they though those were serious but any ways... as far as can tell it is about how his father beat him as a child. Starting with the sound of a whip it begins and in comes a slow calm guitar riff as the singer tell of being hit in various ways... then it stops and he screams nonstop for like 30 sec's and then comes back into the song... really rather frightening.
F*ck Santa!!!: 2.5/5
Ha! this is about coming to realize that santa is a fake. One of the less exciting on the album really. Mediocre.
Violence: 3.5/5
Ending the album on an angry note but this is purely hilarious for me.. should be called the cuss song. Heavily distorted Guitar shreds into a really heavy riff as the singer Yells "f*ck that fat b#tch she hates all this. Scream and runs as i stikc you multiple times with a razor!!! Bleed as you are cut. Ill put bombs in your but!! F*CK F*CK F*CK!! I NEED NO HELP!! DIE ANGRY MAN! HELP ME OUT! F*CK YOURSELF WITH A NAIL..." you get the idea.... i think that this one was meant to be a really serious to the singer but it is just angry garbage and it gave me endless laughter! it was great.... i just wish there was more from the crimplets...
I did a T.B.T because i wanted every track to be known as closely as possible to what they are like... cause i seriously doubt that you will ever find this album. I even looked for songs on limewire and no luck at all. great funny album though. Enjoy this review!! Oh yeah and i actually did spell check on this one!
