Review Summary: may i interest you in a tender, passionate HATEFUCK
what is the most important aspect of music? is it the riffz? is it the beatz? is it the lyrics? is it the twee gay ***? is it tonal musicality? is it the fact that it was made by a woman? NO. Wrong. the only thing that matters is how it makes you feel. the emotional connection you get with the artist(s) that created it, the way it can influence your perception, mood, worldview, the way it offers you something missing from your life, that you might not even have known was missing, because at the end of the day we all have our personal void to fill.
ah. if you're like me, you probably have wished at least a few times in your life that some kind of giant creature would show up one day and just step on you and flatten you against the pavement. or rip your ***ing head off. or dick you in the face until you explode. maybe shove a chainsaw in your guts like that kvlt mayhem song, idk. BUT the point is, you are pissed. you want to get hate***ed because you are pissed and i get it, im pissed too. ive been pissed all my life. you want to go out there and just bite someone's ***ing face off thats how pissed you are, but unfortunately this is no longer deemed acceptable in modern civilised society. So what do you do? do you wank it to degrading porn, do you go troll people in gta online, do you keep making alts on forums despite getting banned within minutes over and over? MAYBE you do that, because you are dumb. But i dont. im a mans man, and i prefer cultured endeavours such as getting my chode beat up by my sound system.
ENTER sadistik exekution. this band is pissed. they replaced the c's in their name with k's. BUT what you dont know is that this came out before mortal kombat. think about that for a minute. anyway this band is from australia. what i know about australia is that they are like a ***tier germany basically, and hitler was from there. why is hitler relevant? because people dont like hitler, and the people of australia especially dont like hitler because everyone keeps telling them on twitter that "ackshually hitler was australian not german". THIS right here is why they're so pissed, and you cant blame them unless yuore dumb.
"wait why are you talking about being pissed?" LISTEN. okay? like i said emotional connection is key here, and this band will help you connect with the demons inside. the first song is called Transneobathasorikal Disillusions of the Unknown which already sounds like theyre conjuring demons its a spooky ambient piece but make no mistake. this band ***s. they thrash, slash and piss. they're not even thrash metal, theyre some kind of blackened death or something idk, but they thrash hard. "how is that possible" you ask? TRVTH. the answer is trvth. you will notice when you listen to this record, the trvth is so hard that it enters your bloodstream and makes you headbang like a ***. your blood is replaced with pvre trvth, and you will get hard. listen. i dont give a *** that youre a woman okay. you WILL get hard and its gonna thrash harder than you thought possible
anyway. what can we expect here? awesome fast riffs, hence the thrashing. riffs are key to thrash and this record has them in spades. vocals are pissed. we already covered that, next. the solos are kinda ***ty honestly, in a kerry king sort of way and that guy is a cunt. but it doesnt matter BECAUSE.... the drums ***in rule on this thing. i dont know who the drummer was on this record but he deserves a medal and a chode up his ass because his blasts are out of this world. theyre not blasts of queef, theyre blasts of truth. AND if thats not enough for you, he has some awesome fills and gets a little techy from time to time. I mean dude listen, when i heard the intro to Sadistikly Exekuted which is a sexy drum intro, my grandpa got out of his wheelchair and kicked my ass thats how trve this guy's drumming is on this record. now you might be asking why my grandpa had a wheelchair in his coffin and how he opened the coffin but youd be gay if you were asking that. ugh.
these guys arent afraid to go a little slower from time to time, you can already hear this on the third track Agonizing the Dead i mean this *** right here makes me mosh even harder than the breakdown in raining blood, this is how you know its ***in killer slashin piss chode. theres no one in my room but im still moshing. its the metal way, you gotta not give a *** about anything. and these guys dont give a *** about anything either, except making really badass cuntblasting metal. you can tell they dont give a *** because the last track is named I'll Kill Ya, You Bastard and its just a bunch of noise and *** and at the end he screams ILL KILL YA YOU BASTARD like come on. truthfully though, they dont just blast all the way through like its norsecore. i mean yeah okay theyre not voivod or coroner sure but the songwriting is surprisingly varied at least for the genre, and theres plenty of fills to keep things fresh all throughout.
ANYWAY who is this album for? renowned metal connoisseur jack nicholson once said "you can't handle the trvth". and you know what? he was right. you cannot in fact handle the trvth. so don't listen to this you bitch. let me listen to it instead. ugh. now you might think you are a real man, a mans man. let me tell you, if you are a chad, a /fit/ user, a pickup artist or a mens rights activist, you should NOT listen to this. because if you hear the trvth in the riffz here, your balls will explode. because god and the universe recognise that trvth is the law and metal is trvth, but you are not trve like this music youre just a bitch. better yuorself, and then i will allow you to listen to this. okay? ugh.
basically, what you need to know is this album will ****** you into a pool of your own piss and vomit until you drown in it. if that makes you hard then good. if not then you should probably stick to sylosis or revocation or some other lame ass *** instead. if you want to thrash hard to something that isnt even thrash you need to hear this. i tried to jam along to this on guitar but my strings broke cuz im not as trve as these guys, so i threw my guitar out the window. people started screaming outside for some reason about an ambulance or something but i didnt give a *** anymore i was already headbanging to the awesome tremz and blastz on the rest of the album. metal lives, check this if you like sadus, morbid saint or any of that other ***
