Review Summary: Post-relational drip
Folklore around the world refers to a ghost light known as a will-o'-the-wisp. These represent a yearning for something which is never attained, and whatever we call that which the wisp has become, it will wander the earth aimlessly as that insubstantial form. Perhaps these beings will even lead others to the same fate.
Welsh singer / songwriter Polly Mackey (under the moniker Art School Girlfriend) has created a debut which chronicles a specific type of emotional journey that can feel as ghostly. In interviews, she admits that she had idealised a certain someone and discovered the reality was different to her aspirations. The album doesn't seem to spend much time elaborating on what the reality was, but it does capture that bizarre period when a meaningful connection dissolves. Who hasn't wandered parking lots, galleries and bars looking for the world to align itself correctly when the certainty of someone being in your life is altered?
Most of us also know that malaise when we understand something should end, but we hold out a doomed, lazy hope of saving it. This is worsened when both parties are in this grey space. The deliberate, pulsing soundscapes here capture that disconnection where we are never fully present with everyone else. We're just replaying conversations and moments looking for a lodestar while we superficially interact with the world.
The title track crackles with the hopeful energy of waiting to see a sunrise, but the sonics also convey this hope being marred by obsessing how the absent person is perceiving this moment - just where are they? Why are we no longer experiencing this together? How can it be that we don't see this from the same viewpoint anymore? Why can't we stop wondering about them?
Opener 'In the middle' sets the scene with one of the more forthright songs. The couple may still be trying to work it out in a sea of synth wash and rounded electronic percussion, but at the final run through of the chorus in the last quarter, a sinister sheen and aggressive baseline hints that there will be no peaceful resolution. Highlight 'Give' is drenched in pain - the gentle cloud of the verses sound like a plea, and a hammering sound before the stark chorus drives home the rejection of it. All through the track we have feel like we're lost in the mist - the backing is vapour with emotional turmoil surfacing and brushing against us out of the haze.
Interestingly, Mackey also remarks in her interviews that she finds emotion almost inconvenient, and this is touched on in another highlight 'As good as I wanted'. A sultry primal beat starts off with supreme confidence, but softer layers are introduced with an admission of uncertainty. The effect feels like wanting to stay underwater but running out of breath. The following track immediately introduces a more traditional structure when she's certain that it's over - staring at her lover on her phone screen is all she can do. The record has led us down a certain path, but unlike in folklore, perhaps it's where we needed to go.
