Review Summary: Popping eardrums is even better than popping cherries.
I feel like I owe an apology for this album. "Another big titty animu grill? ("big titty" and "anime girl" is a redundancy -Ed.) Oh boy, it's yet another bubblegum Jpop album! Who are they ripping this time? Haruhi Suzumiya? Angel Beats?" It's the kind of cover that demands an apology―or at the very least excuse from any self-respecting music-respecter. Of course, if you clicked onto this review, you most likely saw the album cover and knew what you were getting into. Hell, I bet it's why you clicked it. ...Perhaps another apology is in order.
Awkward introductions aren't the only thing I'm going to ask you to put aside in this review. If it wasn't already obvious, that album art carries connotations with its frills and serafuku, ones I should immediately disabuse. This isn't Jpop, there's (almost) no vocals, and you won't get any funny looks for listening to it. Whether this is to you a dealbreaker or maker I won't pretend to know, but leading people along false expectations isn't very nice, I'm told.
Well, maybe that assessment's not quite accurate. While checking to see if perhaps Black Berry Recordings might have a slightly less stiff appellation to go by―Berry or BB or even just Black Berry Records―I discovered that this is a bunch of remixes by a company called Key. I haven't seen any of their work, but their reputation as I understand it is that they do anime and visual novels that make grown men cry, and I guess that's what people like about them. If you're well familiar with them perhaps you'll recognize some of their tunes, but I'd never have known had I not looked. I guess blondie's a character from one of their things, maybe the producer's waifu.
I instead urge you to look down at the bitchin' DJ turntable blondie's pretending to use. This is a much better indication of what to expect: a collection of some VERY bass heavy house EDM tracks of remarkable discipline and consistency. What, precisely I mean by that is that this is the kind of music where you hear the first track or two and you'll know exactly what you're getting. The only exception is in the ill-advised fourth track, a heavily distorted vocaloid singing(?) over dubstep. It's an unpleasant distraction that in contrast to the rest of the album feels like the musical equivalent of a reptilian wearing a skin suit to go schmooze at a cocktail party. I didn't much like it either.
Barring the aforementioned misstep the whole thing is a smooth ride that makes for just as good background listening as it does dancing, but what makes the album notable besides its peculiar background is it has the heaviest bass I think I've ever heard in an LP, at least the heaviest without terrible distortion. Whoever did the mixing really deserves a promotion which, according to the booklet if he's the same guy that did the mastering is either #38, or a literal blank space. I don't "get" Japan.
But I guess that's fine. You don't need to "get" anything more than a few flacs and maybe a good subwoofer to enjoy this album. Give the first couple tracks a try and you'll find out right quick if tit-heavy-bass-heavier-crying music is your thing or not. I venture "yes".
