This album from the UK cult band Half Man Half Biscuit sounds quite like nothing I’ve heard before. Essentially an alternative indie guitar band, HMHB run a bewildering gamut of musical styles, from gospel to traditional folk arrangements to easy listening to 50s doo-wop to eurovision pop to deep house techno trance. They even do a Christmas ballad, replete with church bells, strings and a children’s choir, fit to rival The Pogues’
Fairytale of New York.
Perhaps a label of post punk suits them best, as nearly every song satirises the pretension, insincerity and pseudo-intellectualism of the media and music industry. “Anger is an energy” a bug-eyed Johnny Lydon once proclaimed. HMHB adopt a more phlegmatic approach, perhaps too lazy to get angry. They choose humour as their weapon of choice. This album, and the subsequent EP that follows it, pokes a sardonic stick at a plethora of current artists, spiced with lyrical gems such as “the Pope said/who the f*cking hell are Slipknot/in relation to me getting out of bed?” and “I’m the real slim shady/ the other slim shady/ is playing tennis”.
Although the jokes and wordplay are often included just for the sake of it, there is a serious message here. The opening song
Irk The Purists sets the tone, railing against the music facism that stops people listening to whatever they want, set to a traditional folk backdrop. Other songs focus on the artists themselves.
Look Dad No Tunes attacks an imaginary generic indie band, who adopt a calculated careerist approach to success, as the hook-laden guitars swirl gloriously.
Used To Be In Evil Gazebo spoofs a tortured artist’s interview with a music journalist, ridiculing his cynical attempt to create a "misunderstood genius" persona: "your ex girlfriend informs us that your treatment as such was at a voluntary day centre and you went along purely to get people to think you were the new Nick Drake" is followed by a stunned pause and a defiant scream of "I’ve been in a mental hospital, but I don’t like to talk about it."
The rest of the album continues in the same vein quoting real and imagined bands, brimful of ideas, with songs within songs.
With Goth On Our Side is a witty re-write of the Bob Dylan classic,
Bottleneck at Capel Curiq veers into 1950s rockabilly, whilst
Nove On The Sly plunges into a techno trance beat, over which Nigel Blackwell bizarrely intones what appears to be his weekly shopping list ("Eggs, Bread, Cigs, Milk"). Despite the variety of musical styles on offer, it is Nigel’s barbed lyrics that always hold centre stage, whilst refusing to take himself too seriously. In
Emerging From Gorse Nigel deadpans to a snarling guitar background:
"Talking about the Palace Brothers and Bonnie Prince Billy/She points at the stereo and starts chanting/ “sh*t band no fans”/ Her mate at the back pipes up/ “Yeah the windy minimalism recalls some of Labradford’s isolationist period”/ ...Thoroughly defeated I retired to bed."
HMHB are perhaps the most popular unknown band in the UK. Years back when their debut album was a surprise no.1 in the independent charts for months on end, they promptly disbanded in order to return their lives to normalcy. They now refuse to tour abroad, don't promote album releases, avoid television appearances and interviews wherever possible, don’t allow themselves to be photographed, don’t even have a signed record contract, but remain loyal to their local independent record label.
Even if you don’t take on board their underlying message of personal integrity, even if you don't appreciate the stunning diversity of music styles on display, you can always just sit back and enjoy the surreal sense of humour:
"Because you’ve had to get off your fat arse to serve me, you say “£1.35” instead of “That’ll be £1.35 please sir”/ Suddenly I’ve got other things to buy/ I’ll have two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite/ I’ll have ten kit kats and a motoring atlas." (
24 Hour Garage People).
