Review Summary: Crushing.
Moss:
n.
1. a. Any of various green, usually small, nonvascular plants of the class Musci of the division Bryophyta.
b. A patch or covering of such plants.
2. Any of various other unrelated plants having a similar appearance or manner of growth, such as the club moss, Irish moss, and Spanish moss.
That is what Moss is: green, nonvascular plants, that slay for days. Moss is plants with hammers, crushing your face. Moss is me kicking you in the face. Moss is everybody in the world kicking you in the face so you die, then resurrecting you, then kicking you in the face another six billion times. Moss is the moon falling on your face. Moss is like that one time at school when this girl hit this other girl in the face with a bat. Moss is like that one other time at school when that girl punched this other girl in the face and broke her nose. The Big Bang was caused by Moss. This one time, this girl I know was acting up, so I dropped a semi-trailer on her face. Anyone remember the dinosaurs? Pretty sure
Cthonic Rites totally f
ucked up their sh
it.
Released in 2005,
Cthonic Rites is doom heavyweights Moss’ debut. Much like the various metaphors expounded in the previous paragraph, this is one debut album that crushes your face. Huge f
ucking riffs the size of mountains, stamping around and killing cute animals, like whales. Then the whales fall on your face.
Cthonic Rites is not an album to be taken lightly. Some people will say it sucks; the album dynamics do not really change, and the steady pace of one riff every 10 or so seconds may become dreary for some. In this case, you must be a pussy. The colossal riffing on the album creates a thick and dense atmosphere that is unsurpassed by other doom bands, perhaps only by themselves on their most recent effort,
Sub Templum. Their debut, as opposed to the sophomore, has a more unrefined feel to it, and a far sinister atmosphere. Where
Sub Templum was almost solely about dramatic face surgery,
Cthonic Rites aims to create a rather grim aura that is both enveloping and truly frightening. Olly Pearson’s vocals lends itself to said grim aura; his screeches are scarily good, and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t sh
it my pants a few times when listening to this album.
Although being relatively ‘repetitive’, as may be proposed by some, it should be known that one must delve further into the music to find any enjoyment. Turn off the lights, lie down on your bed, and make sure to go number two beforehand. The section midway through opener ‘Crypts of Somnambulance’, where feedback is used to supplement the atmosphere, is ridiculously well thought out; the suspense and tension is at such a level, one can’t help but twitch his eyes nervously and chew at the stumps that were once finger tips.
Not much more needs to be said about
Cthonic Rites. It is crushing, it is devastating; it is destructive, it is demoralizing. You
will be crushed. I will leave you with a definition, to ponder your current situation.
Crushing:
Death by crushing or pressing, as a method of execution, has a long history, and the techniques to achieve this end varied greatly from place to place. This form of execution is no longer sanctioned by any governing body. A common method of death by crushing was through the use of elephants throughout South and South-East Asia for over 4,000 years of recorded history, and perhaps before that. The Romans and Carthaginians also used this method on occasion. See crushing by elephant.
