Review Summary: Satans hard.
The album starts in the most metal way, that is quite ingenious: “NOW SATAN TAKES HIS PLACE”. If you thought that was a gut puncher, you ain’t seen nothing yet. The Satanic lyrics get even more cult as the fat riffs come in with much metal. This album is very very very very very metal. Metal as *** - metal that ***s. This may just strike your balls with a match; like a classic Picard line, these guys “engage” your balls.
The harsh vocals are more metal than Robocop’s ass, sounding like a parody of thrash metal - love it. Whilst thrash slappeth and slasheth, progressive death keeps oneself on thy toes. A bit of this, a bit of that, it’s like a Satanic trail mix forcefully shoved into your ear holes. There’s so many guitar solos, drum shreds, and proggy-wiggy-diggy moments one might think the band members are all robots due to their calculated violence. No, they are humans obviously, they just play instruments well unlike robots which don’t even understand the art of Crabcore. Unbelievable.
The best part is the every part. The riffs noodle more than Beethoven piano numbers, and are even wigglier than The Wiggles when holding in pee. I’ll put it another way: this good metal album is good. In fact, it is so good that I will reveal more lyrics:
From Hell they came
Their forbidden wizardry ensnares
Cosmic metamorphosis from the hollows
Secret realms transferred to blackened spirits.
The Dark One comes to claim the seventh key.
These last lyrics here were written by me for this review, but you can expect lyrics of this nature in the album. Such lyrics are metal as *** and if you disagree you are no true metalhead, but rather a disgusting imposter. Also, you sound like an asshole. Be gone……………………
(while you’re gone check out the album).
