Review Summary: A day in the life of pizzamachine: episode 1.
And that’s the thing about music, you never know when something will hit you. Why, I remember a time when…
Oh! Hello, I didn’t see see you there! I’m pizzamachine, a professional reviewer. Welcome to my studio. Oh, you’re just gonna start walking, alright, well let me show you around first. That right there is my prized guitar, would you mind? I used that to smite the elder dragon that would’ve destroyed the world, so I don’t want fingerprints on it. Yes, I glued all the pieces back together, it took a while. Okay, um, what did you want exactly? Burnt By The Buns? The Sun? Oh. Alright, I’ll review them, just take your hands off my guitar please… and… ok, thank you. We’re good to go. Come back in an hour please. Okay, bye now.
One hour elapses, and the customer comes back.
Alright, so I can tell you the album you recommended was pretty neat. It sounded like metalcore with some nu-metal influence and definitely some grind or death metal going on. You agree? Great, I wouldn’t wanna throw you out cause this is my show haha. Anywho, this was pretty cool. The lead growler took some getting used to, but I liked his gruff tone. Actually, his tone was great with the kind of rough guitar presentation. The album got repetitive though, it was essentially the same heavy *** over and over again, so I can’t give full points to this, I mean, it’s not really that original. At one point I swore I was listening to Demon Hunter. Dude, chill, it’s just what I heard alright? Remember you asked for this? Jeez. But seriously, it wasn’t that bad, there were some pretty unique guitar riffs, and both the drummer and guitarist were crazy skilled, especially the drummer, I wish I had those chops.
You want MORE praise for the album? Alright, chill out dude, I’m getting there. If I’m honest, the production was pretty great, the guitar tone had a beautifully sludgy buzz to it. Yes, I know what I’m talking about, shut it dude… damn it, just let me work! I was just about to say I loved the crisp snare drum, that *** ruled. There, are you happy now? What do you mean you want a refund? You didn’t even pay for this… oh my god, you’re definitely NOT getting another free review. Cya around.
