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Review Summary: A complete waste of sixteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds of your life. Please avoid this, as I should have done. Every so often, we dive into the unexpected in music, right? We go buy (or otherwise acquire) a new album by a band we’ve never heard before, right? Sure, you might research them a bit, see if it will fit your tastes and whatnot, but the band is still vague to imagine. That’s how I found Orthrelm, an Avant-Garde Metal/Experimental act hailing from the D. C. area. Browsing through the Metal Archives’ Progressive section, I decided it might be worth to check out some Avant-Garde as well. As such, when I found Orthrelm, I thought this would be cool, atmospheric, heavy music. But I can tell you; I’ve never felt so fruitless with music before.
A noisy, directionless, mindless sixteen and a half minute ‘jam’ is what Orthrelms’ first album, Iorxhscimtor, is all about. There is little to say about the album, because it doesn’t have much. Pale and boring, repetitive, random leads courtesy of guitarist Mick Barr are what make up one-half of the album. The other half, Josh Blair, is on drums, and he’s just as ludicrous; unchecked spasms of wild cymbal hits and drum beats that are not forming anything lasting complete all that there is to this freakshow, Iorxhscimtor.
But the travesty of the music is nothing compared to the overall ‘imagination’ of this album. The shortest song is twenty-three seconds, while, in stark contrast; the longest track is two minutes and twenty-two seconds. But don’t think this is some Grindcore, face ripping nuclear bomb as some bands do. No blast beats of any kind, no punishing riffs, no vocals; just a simple combination of recapitulated solos and utterly unmindful drums that severely lacks any mental or physical work.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing solid on this album. No melodies, verses, choruses, bridges, no anything besides the lazy ‘songwriting’ of annoying, I’ve-already-heard-this-a-thousand-times-before shred leads and unimaginative, rehashed drums. Don’t get me wrong, Mick and Josh are good at their instruments, but could do so much more when they actually put their effort in. Yet with a sixteen-minute album that’s as repetitive as your generic Nickelback, with all your song titles being ‘Untitled’, and nothing behind your music besides sweep arpeggios, people will avoid any more Orthrelm albums at all costs.
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Album Rating: 1.0
I know it's short, but seriously, there is absolutley nothing about this album. First negative review too
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Great review, you know why? because i dont even have the will to TRY and listen to this, i'll take your word for it.
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I can almost imagine how bad it is. And don't worry about the review being short, I mean like you said it's 16 minutes of noise. Not much you can say about that.
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Great review, you know why? because i dont even have the will to TRY and listen to this, i'll take your word for it.
I second this. You described the music well enough and convinced me I won't like it.
| | | Album Rating: 1.0
I actually listened to this...and...wow...it was just terrible. This is to music as Tim and Eric (Awesome Show Great Job) are to comedy.
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So I'm guessing that this is pretty bad.
I bet it's better than Ascendancy though. Purely for the fact that it's over mercifully quicklyThis Message Edited On 01.17.08
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Oh look someone that doesn't understand Orthrelm on sputnik what a huge surprise
| | | Album Rating: 1.0
oh look someone who confuses shit with pretentiousness.
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that doesn't even make any sense.
Orthrelm is awesome. Guy FROM FUGAZI LIKES THEM!!!!!
anyways, your review bascially justifies why this band is good.This Message Edited On 01.17.08
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oh look someone who confuses **** with pretentiousness. Insults are supposed to actually be insulting just so you know
| | | Album Rating: 1.0
"someone that doesn't understand Orthrelm"
Feel free to explain, please...because it's not so much that I don't understand, it's more that my friend's cat could play this drunk. In fact, I think that's what this sounds like. Drunken cat music...if you can even call it music...
Is that insulting enough for you? ;)
The REALLY funny thing is, I've heard worse. This Message Edited On 01.17.08
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obviously, you don't get the point of the music at all.
it is meant to be as abrasive as you say. in the little nuances of the guitar riffs there are melodies. its taking the ideas of minimalist composition and applying them in a heavy metal setting, that is why it is brilliant. sure, this record doesn't do it as successfully as their masterpiece 'Ov' which is basically an ever evolving 60 minute track that takes the idea of 'Strumming Music' and applies it in a metal setting, but that doesn't warrant the complete distaste of it.
the band isn't into blast beats, shredding, etc. its into complete compositions and thats what makes it music.
sorry you don't comprehend that.
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how in the fuck do you pronounce the album title?
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If pixies is praising the album, then it probably sucks tbh.
| | | Album Rating: 1.0
Uhhh...you fail.
Listen to Moonsorrow. They make complete compositions. If you actually enjoy this, good for you. I do not, cannot, will not, and it has nothing to do with my taste in my music. It hurts my ears. It annoys me. It bores me. I could go on, but I've no desire to continue bashing something that you like. To each their own. Just don't tell me I don't comprehend the idea of complete compositions. I insulted your music. You insulted me.
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Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing.
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Moonsorrow is pop music when compared to this. Also, Moonsorrow will always be shit.
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If pixies is praising the album, then it probably sucks tbh. I'll await your thank yous for Kayo Dot and maudlin of the Well later then
| | | Album Rating: 1.0
"Moonsorrow is pop music"
This is where we agree to disagree, I leave, and you continue listening to your drunken cat music. Sucks to be you.
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"Moonsorrow is pop music"
This is where we agree to disagree, I leave, and you continue listening to your drunken cat music. Sucks to be you.
Actually if you're leaving it's pretty damn awesome to be him
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