Review Summary: Go fuck yourself
I’m not even going to bother easing you into this garbage with one of my usual mild introductory summaries, this is complete and total dog-shit.
It speaks a lot to a person’s musical aptitude (or lack thereof) when the songs they meant to be serious ended up being comedic, and vice versa. Subtlety? What in the actual fuck is subtlety; Onision doesn’t seem to have a clue, as his one-tone monotonous vocal performance throughout all 14 tracks actually makes me want to drink a bleach martini without the lime. He didn’t even have the common decency to coat his vocals in auto-tune like his peers in the genre, he just lets his barely altered voice hang out there like the floppy dong he wishes he had. Nonetheless, it’s hard to even call it a vocal performance as he’s stuck in one octave with one sub-tone, like he’s straight up talking or some shit. I wish this was just melodrama, but it’s by far the worst vocal performance I’ve heard from a musician who actually takes themselves seriously (even if they don’t like to admit it.)
Lyrically, he just spews random jargon about wanting to fuck blow up dolls, how he’s a banana, and how he’s an emo kid, but then how he feels that emo kids should kill themselves. Nothing serious is serious, and the distance that any of this material has in regards to coming close to anything resembling hilarity is approximately 2.357 million light years away (that’s the distance from here to the Andromeda Galaxy, where I wish this shit was shipped off to). Here’s just a few gems because he didn’t bother, so, why should I?
“She's as smooth plastic,
Nice and petite,
I'd love to blow her full of air,
Or be her substitute seat.”
- “Blow Doll Song”
“We’re taking a crap, and we’re also going to pee!”
- “Shower Song”
Instrumentally it’s just FL Studio basic beats with what I guess qualifies as synth lines here, and some basic piano key flopping shit there. It’s basically the same song instrumentally 14 times, along with clipping, volume mixing, and multiple other issues that turn what should have been a standard pile of manure, into a mold infested shed filled with crusted white fecal matter. Also, I couldn’t be bothered to give this review a proper conclusion, because even brokeNCYDE’s early work had more variety than this. I’d say this is the downfall of society, but that’s implying society would have even been remotely involved with this abortion of an album. Oh yeah, Onision, you’re over 30 years old, quit emotionally harassing 16 year old teenagers over the internet just because they don't enjoy your videos. Cuck.
