Review Summary: Well I mean, it's not Bach but it's something
When I heard that Blood on the Dance Floor was coming back; I was ecstatic. The feeling was comparable to when Martin Shkreli acquired the greatest piece of African American history that no-one would ever hear. Of course, being an objective critic of a critiquing nature I went in hoping to objectively critique; boy did that assumption slap me over the bed like a ferret on an ecstasy binge. I was completely taken aback by some of the harsh tones and controversial material presented throughout this release.
Opening with the first track “Sexually Explicit”, we discover that Blood on the Dance Floor is Sexually Explicit; the song contains lots of lines that are indeed, sexually explicit. You could hear some vocals in there from some teen dude with some claps and harsh buzz-saw electronics but that’s another story for another paragraph. “The Sexorcist” is where the band really kicks into gear, playing guitars with chord arrangements and playing drums with sticks. It kind of sounds like Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” tuned up a point and a half and converted to Garage Band; it’s quite alluring. Apparently the dude’s name is Dahvie and he likes to sing about sex; well I mean his voice isn’t really that good but it entertained me more than my spouse did so I’m going to assume he’s actually incredibly talented, in lieu of confronting my mental instabilities.
They really like taking romantic aural walks with Industrial influences don’t they? Apparently there’s some other dude named Jayy Von Monroe on here who just kind of sits there behind walls of audio production and looped guitar riffs with a basic Reaper tone filter. Coulda sworn Marilyn Manson popped in again but I’m pretty sure that’s just the title track’s chorus? Let’s check up one what we have so far; Manson, Industrial, Lyrics about what you’re not supposed to do until matrimony, Garage Band, Loops. I mean, what else could you want? Oh wait now he’s singing about some Trent Reznor kind of kinks right here.
“My girl's got a stiff upper lip
She begs for more 'cause she can handle it
You know I like it, baby give me tighter grip
Torture excites me, make it so I can't resist”
Well it’s definitely not Shakespeare but it has me in shambles so I guess that’s pretty classic right? Who knows, but I’m pretty sure due to the multi-verse theory some other me is enjoying this right now, so that’s enough to justify me giving this a hard 5/5. I mean don’t blame me if you waste your time, but I’m campaigning for this EP a fair bit since I don’t really have much else to do with my time and I mean I guess it's better than my 4th grade talent show audition so that's something.
