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Review Summary: I abjectly soar the heavens in my final breathe. It is Tuesday, I gaze into my crystal ball with a smoke in my hand in my foggy art studio - a paintbrush is in my other hand. I try to paint the emotions that Beethoven must have felt when crafting his world known masterpiece. The vapors in the room speak to me and teleport my spirit to a battle between rhythm and art. They come in the form of playful demons and both whisper their knowledge in my ear. I try to hear it but it is inaudible, and thus the mystic intrigue remains.
I am a crystalline fortress, a pine tree without snow. These are the words I impart as I descend into madness. My paintbrush must never tickle the toes of giants. I lie with a blanket over me awaiting the full moon. The moon gaze will restore my energy only partially after this great ordeal. Never again must I delve into the mystery of Beethoven’s masterpiece, it is a mystery that is unsolvable. “I have lost the battle with the spirits”, I say as I shed tears of ash.
Yet I will return once more to partake in Beethoven’s sensual fruits. I will skylark in his undying, pink meadows and turn off my air conditioning to fully be one with his transcendent art piece. I feel the cosmic energy in the air penetrate my membrane as I embark on the enlightened quest - once more through the bushels of a god. Is it music or an omen, a sign that no one shall ever be able to fabricate reality in a similar fashion? In many ways it seems a threat to the senses, a forest fire of the soul. I am enraptured like a frostbitten sunbeam directly impaled through my third eye. I am plucked like a grape and I remain paralyzed in silent fits of ecstasy. A fantasy plays before me but it is not my mind’s work. Beethoven dances in front of me with a smile on his face, and after a lifetime of stress I can finally die in peace. The mystery is complete as am I.
| other reviews of this album |
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Good rev
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I laughed, I cried, I transcended my earthly shell
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
The opening paragraph reminds me way too much of my early reviews on here, well done :]
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
I was specifically thinking of this excerpt from my Reign in Blood review from way back when:
"As I sit here typing this review, there lies an eerie breeze and foggy weather outside my window. The storm just passed, and now the skies are gray and darkened above me. Everything looks miserable and gloomy, and the clouds are looming over my house as I write. Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well unfortunately, the description is an accurate metaphor for the thrash "classic" Reign in Blood by Slayer."
lol
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I won't rate this because I respect what a musical genius Beethoven was, but I can't think of a worse way to spend an hour than listening to this album. Okay maybe not entirely true, I think the last track is pretty great but the rest bores me to tears. Most older classical has this same effect on me.
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
I have a soft spot for classical since I grew up taking piano lessons and doing recitals, but I will admit that I don't listen to it very much these days. And I eventually stopped taking lessons because I was tired of the formalism and having to adhere to the "proper" way of playing, lol
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"I am a crystalline fortress, a pine tree without snow" is such a weirdly gorgeous and zen phrase I'm sort of in awe of it lmao
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@Kompy
Agreed! I’m particularly fond of that part as well
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That neg reeks of envy for lines as poetic, and no doubt said many-a-time, as
“Yet I will return once more to partake in Beethoven’s sensual fruits.”
Though, for real, very fun review. Good job!
Edit: the neg is gone. They finally got to partake
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Thrash classic, or "Thrashterpiece" if you will
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Beethoven was the original thrash pianist
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My pianist is erect
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This saved me
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
Tis a review!
Kinda nostalgias for some reason
Pos'd
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
Get this to number 1 BABY!
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
This is objectively a five star opus
| | | Album Rating: 5.0
Fo sho
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pause
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
nice release
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lol this band
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