‘4 Wembley dates sold out in 3 hours after general sale opened, they have added 2 more extra shows, just unreal’
The more plastic they sound, the more they appeal to the masses.
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-Parachutes : Very nice, like OK Computer on Valium (note: I like drugs). Yellow and Trouble remain unlistenable to this day. Not sure they started out that way, but they certainly got played to literal death
-A Rush of Blood to the Head (of my penis): All GREAT songs, apart from, curiously, the lead single “In My Place”, which was implacably boring. A bad sign? Maybe not… But maybe:
-X&Y(did you bother): Oh god. Oh … what happened… this album is irredeemable past the 30 second ambient intro. Sappy, pappy and really-not-making-my-foot-tappy, actually-made-me-quite-unhappy at the time. But not the lighter-waving-above-head sense, more in the lighter-under-the-foil sense. 10 years after this album released, BAM I tried heroin. Not sure how Martin sleeps at night, really
-Viva La Vida: Mostly really great. Read Eno’s book. Am convinced he’s the genius here
-Mylo Fucking Xylitol: Just as “anal leakage promoting” through its insipid mimicry of real sweetness, just as Xylitol itself, perhaps they were trying to tell us something. If you’d caught me around this period, cowering among the flickering umber hues of my dying youth, I was excitedly telling everyone I met that I was sure that Coldplay had fallen into a cadence, post X&Y (did they bloody bother), of good album/bad album. Yeah well shows what I know because:
-A Head Full of Dreams. Bad. I think there was one song I didn’t hate
-Ghost Stories: Ah, a curveball: 1/3rds good. 2/3rds just boring
-Everyday Life: Let’s be honest, they can’t have wanted this to have sold in America at least (or much of the UK). They put Arabic on the cover. I too, liked the live performance in Jordan, at least the first track, Church. I watched, rapt, with my sound technician background screaming: “how on earth can any band do a live show in such a situation and expect it to sound even half decent? Perhaps they’re using some breakthrough computational-audio type noise redu-, oh. They’re essentially miming. Neat” 1/3rds pleasantly boring. 2/3rds dither noise
-Music of the Spheres: It was better when Ian Brown did it. People crowing over Coloratura I mostly feel sorry for. You could mix light urine with water 50:50 and give it to a thirsting man in the desert, and he’ll thank you for it.
They couldn’t even settle on a cadence so that I could make snappy posts about them.
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