We never found out what happened to the serpent who guards the gates of hell.

Freelove Freeway is actually a top drawer tune.


Get the guitar.

Sorry, yeah, it sounds a bit gay at the moment

I'd love a boss like Brent

He's basically a chilled out entertainer

There goes David Brent, I must remember to thank him

Who says famine has to be depressing?

famine is fun. haven't you seen documentaries of africans?

Squeal piggy squeal

I'm not gonna call ahead

What's white and slides down toilet walls?

Michael Jackson's latest release!

Trust, encouragement, reward....

Satisfaction, so...

I froze your tears and made a dagger,
and stabbed it in my cock forever.
It stays there like Excalibur,
Are you my Arthur?
Say you are.

Take this cool dark steeled blade,
Steal it, sheath it, in your lake.
I’d drown with you to be together.
Must you breathe? Cos I need Heaven.

Double meanings.. did you get the double meanings?

I could have sworn that was Ricky Gervais at first glance.

That's who I thought it was at first too

Why isn't this thread 50 pages of Brent quotes yet

My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went 'Mr Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?'

Didn't happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish.

I can type in, say, 'sex... fetish'. It takes a little while. There. two thousand, two hundred and thirty matches. Just click on one, at random. Aaaagh, there. 'Dutch girls must be punished for having big boobs'. Now, you don't punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.