Album Rating: 2.0

Maybe it's because they're awful?

yea

Album Rating: 1.5

Z or R twice

get it right

"The drumming is nothing crazy but its perfectly in time and sounds great."

well fuck, if drumming in time is so important, then i guess i could go make a million dollars for a shitty rock band. i
can keep time! i.e. this is retarded.

"and the guitars chug right on time. its not to technical, but the pacing is what makes this band."

again with the on time shit wtf. plus, this might be one of the worst sentences i've read on this site. It's needs an
apostrophe AND a capital, it's TOO instead of to, and what the fuck are you even talking about with pacing? you say
they go from a softer number to an insane drumming/guitars on time number? that wouldn't be good pacing in a
movie let alone an album.

"The clean chorus is the first taste we get of Dannys singing voice, and although heavily edited in places, it has a
good sincere sound."

if you can reasonably explain why edited (i read this as autotuned) vocals convey sincerity, then i will go jump off a
bridge. because that sounds like a horse's ass. (and don't start on james blake that doesn't count)

"Some more intricate guitar"

colloquialism: use it in talk, but leave them home for writing.

by your description alone i thought a candlelit dinner would be rated a lot lower for how many times you say a part drags or goes on too long...

"but are nicely offset by and off time drum work. They switch from palm mutes to letting the chords wring out, and the whole verse sounds like a breakdown having a seizure."

oh so now they drums are 'by and off time'... i hope this makes one of my prior comments look stupid, but then again i'm not sure that phrase is english. Oh, and a breakdown having a seizure is how someone once described skrillex to me, so that's not exactly ringing praise.

"against a mine breakdown chug."

ugh kid come on.

"Dannys screams sound above par as always and fits the pacing."

no they fucking don't by your description alone they haven't slowed at all until the interlude, which you say doesn't even go that long. a full sprint for 20 minutes is terrible pacing. THERE IS NO PACING HERE. In the next sentence you say they go into a clean bit for a little, and then another fucking breakdown. that is not pacing, that is a thousand monkeys, high on opium, shoved in a warehouse, and tasked with rewriting Hamlet in Klingon.

"To make up for the lack of focus on screams, they make up for it with the insanely sexual lyrics about having sex with a girl you don't even know the name of"

OH MY GOD NO ONE HAS EVER DONE A SONG LIKE THAT BEFORE

"The guitars chug right on time, the drumming is perfect, screaming right on par. and the pacing and transitions between screams and cleans is very well done"

gives absolutely no reason why this song is 4/5, let alone listenable.

"Another okay song, Breakdown ridden, but well put together. nothing to much special."

You know, i almost stopped reading two paragraphs ago, but i said to myself, "Tyrannic, (yes, i speak to myself in my username's third person) you should really stop reading this and take a shower." But i said, "Self, no. There will be one sentence that is so bad that it will make it all worth it. There just has to be!" This, this is that sentence. Breakdown shouldn't be capitalized, capitalize nothing, TOO not TO, and...this:

"nothing to much special."

what.

oh, right. neg.

Nope

But your username is a win for the Halo reference.

Album Rating: 1.5

there is too much wrong with this review to start anywhere

no problem i'm pretty sure i covered it...

Album Rating: 4.0

So I wrote my first review, missed a little grammar, people didn't like it. I think it was a decent run for a 2 am type-fest. Oh well, I'll keep trying. (Tyrannical can bitch all he wants, his man-child sarcasm wont get me down, don't worry) ;)

Album Rating: 1.5

ugh

Album Rating: 1.5

it might be worth using the spell checker next time.



Also, Tyrannical raises some pretty good points about things you say, use the criticism to make this a better review.

Album Rating: 4.0

Nice to see all the happy contructive critsism on Sputnik, Oh how I love this site.

"So I wrote my first review, missed a little grammar, people didn't like it. I think it was a decent run for a 2 am type-fest. Oh well, I'll keep trying. (Tyrannical can bitch all he wants, his man-child sarcasm wont get me down, don't worry) ;)"

It not because of the grammatical errors, it's the fact you chose to review a shtty album amd giving it a high rating that's causing all sorts of butt hurt. Next time, write a review on a decent album.

Album Rating: 4.0

I like the band, I know people who like the band, you don't like the band. Other people don't like the band. Welcome to music buddy.

Did you write this review...in your ass?

uhm, 1. it's tyrannic. come on guy.
2. yeah, i was snarky, but this review literally smells like ass. take those words with a grain of salt, but don't insult me. i took the time to read the whole review (a feat in and of itself), and if you didn't want people to critique it you should have kept it on your hard drive.

this is the point of art, kid, everyone isn't going to like your first draft. just grow a pair, accept the critique, and try again. fuck.

"I like the band, I know people who like the band, you don't like the band. Other people don't like the band. Welcome to music buddy."

Well a lot of people here obviously don't like it, so if you ever review again (and again, fix your grammar. Even the damn sentence I quoted is wrong grammatically.), pick a better album.

Album Rating: 4.0

Oh well, better luck next time I guess. I've been coming to this site for my reviews for over a year now, and enjoyed laughing at some of the comments. Guess it's a little different being on the other end of the gun. I won't quit just yet, gonna keep at it.

"Oh well, better luck next time I guess. I've been coming to this site for my reviews for over a year now, and enjoyed laughing at some of the comments. Guess it's a little different being on the other end of the gun. I won't quit just yet, gonna keep at it."

Good, I guess. Go read some staff reviews to get a general idea of what a review contains. Also, please stay away from track-by-track reviews. That's another big reason people are giving you a hard time. A lot of people (including me) hate them.