Converge Jane Doe
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Thor
April 1st 2010


10355 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

He's absolutely right

Masochist
April 1st 2010


9168 Comments


Naw, there are just more people who have heard 'Jane Doe', so there's a bit more variety to the ratings. Most people who have an opinion about 'As The Roots Undo' see it in a positive light, so they're the ones who'll read it.

My theory, anyways...

StreetlightRock
April 1st 2010


4016 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I already made it clear that I was not rehashing Barthes' "Death of the Author" argument. If anything, I think his argument falls flat in the face of the continued public veneration of the author. The meaning intended by the author is not viewed as an unnecessary semiotic surplus or even as holding the key to the transcendental signified; instead, society exalts the private associations of the author or artist as themselves the most significant. The incomprehensibility of what all these things he sings about must have meant for him is itself the ground for our saying that we've felt the same way.




You do not get to play this game with me. I am not here to debate philosophy. I don't mind verbosity or obscurity, but I despise it when it is used to cover up grade-A bullshit by a third rate writer relying on shock and affect rather than content. Which is sad, because you're using all the terms in the right way, but you've fucked up at the most elementary level and then ridden your high horse all the way through this thread insulting users who can see through it.



Converge cannot even be credited with its creation... therefore the album must be rated a 1. Congratulations on making a category error!

myhigherpie
April 1st 2010


3029 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Dude, how the hell could you possibly know the thought process of the band during the writing and recording of Jane Doe?



That right there is a fallacy to your entire argument. You are speaking entirely hypothetically, which would be fine if this were a discussion in the blog or something, but this is not a discussion. This is a review.

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2010


10726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

A review for the lyrics of one album.



that's a good one.



For better or for worse, people buy/listen to albums for their music, not their lyrics nor the artwork, although the latter can help a record get critical acclaim.



Given the former, i found this review TOTALLY USELESS.



I started listening to Converge because i noticed their HUGE artwork. And Jacob Bannon has a tremendous impact on the artwork Converge put on their albums.



Their music is good too.



Noise at the first listens, perfectly organized metalcore chaos while the listens pile up.





This goes to the reviewer:



If you want lame lyrics, try glam rock. You hit the wrong door here.

Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2010


32289 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7

weren't you the one saying last time i posted this that you wanted to print out 100 copies of it and use it to wipe your ass? not saying i would object, but maybe you just came around


What I said was I was contemplating copying and pasting this to word and then printing ad infinitum to use as word of the day toilet paper, and to a degree the thought is still there. But i also admire this review in a sense, it's a very bold and brave dialogue that investigates what you consider to be the conundrum that is Sputnik's ceaseless admiration for this album. But, if it was up to me i'd still set yout CTTS review on fire. Oh, and...

i still maintain that if i had written a review that was equally long and equally verbose, keeping the same focus on the lyrics and only a little bit on the musical elements, but one that gave the album a 5 and just praised it, i would have almost no negs


Pretty much that

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
April 1st 2010


10726 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

It doesn't fucking matter what the hell Converge were thinking when they made this record. This is not hard.



You just condensed the true meaning of 14 pages of comments into yours.

Masochist
April 1st 2010


9168 Comments


Imp - Wait, wait, wait...

There was this nagging thing in my mind that about this review, about why you gave it a "1" based off of the final sentences ("The album was, in essence, written by nobody), and I think I've figured out what it was.

To give a "1," you have to pretty much think there's no redeeming factor about this album whatsoever. I stated earlier that I really don't like this band at all, but I don't mind "Jane Doe;" I'll actually listen to that one on YouTube. That song alone would be enough to bump this album to at least a 1.5 for me (but I haven't listened to the entire thing, so I haven't rated it yet).

Your argument is based solely on the fact that because the lyrics are vague, they could be written by anyone; anyone could be "Jane Doe," and anyone could be describing their story. In terms of music, I think you stated that the music was a reflection of the story, meant to magnify the passion of the lyrics at the correct spots (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).

So here's my new (personal) beef: you explained why the lyrics failed, but you never explained why the music failed. The music, according to you, is representative of the emotions felt throughout this formless record...so did it succeed in portraying them? If the album were purely instrumental, with no lyrics, would it still deserve a one? And does the fact that the lyrics are pretty much smoke rings that anyone could and everyone has blown already automatically mean that the instrumentation is a moot point when it comes to the rating?

Curious minds wonder...;-)

Cuban Pete
April 1st 2010


3813 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

anyone that doesn't give this a 5 just doesn't have balls

Inveigh
April 1st 2010


26878 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I was just fucking with you man, I can't really remember any of your comments. Who are you normally?

Inveigh
April 1st 2010


26878 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

why do users' comments keep disappearing from this thread? is it in the process of being dele-

Baphomet
April 1st 2010


7363 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I'm sorry Dave, but I have a question. How come you guys have deleted this exact same review like three times before but now you have alowed it to reach 9 pages? I'm just curious.

jesusjuice1179
April 1st 2010


1784 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

it's the internet, we should be able to post whatever we want

EBTCardMania
April 1st 2010


512 Comments


Take it from someone who knows: you're not going to win. Drop it.

jesusjuice1179
April 1st 2010


1784 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

oh, and Dave, your probably right about me waving my cock around at a gas station if I wasn't here

EBTCardMania
April 1st 2010


512 Comments


That was actually to jesusjuice but you posted before I did. I know your story Iluvatar.

Baphomet
April 1st 2010


7363 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

just to be clear Dave, i'm with Hanson. It's not that this is a review giving an album a rating I don't agree with... hell, there are a bunch of reviews here that do that and I'm not going to whine about that. The thing about this review is that it's nonsensycal, absurd and full of big words set to camouflage the fact that this is nothing more that a troll review. I believe most of us complaining about this review find this to be the reason to have it deleted, not the rating.

Enotron
April 1st 2010


7695 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

If you know it's a troll review, quit freaking out about it(not specifically you, but to the general outraged). I love reviews like these, they're fun to read. It's well-written, it's funny. Sure, reviews like these ruin the credibility of the site, but that's something that has to be put up with when you let users write reviews.....

Thor
April 1st 2010


10355 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Wow that's some pretty IRREFUTABLE LOGIC right there

ScorpionStan
April 1st 2010


1911 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

i just find it funny that if one of the staff wrote a review of this ilk, i could totally see everyone ooing and ahing over the genius of it.



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