That’s some bullshit yea

Album Rating: 5.0

Actually, Mordial is among the best metal albums released this year and is a contender for AOTY. It's literally improved upon everything the band has ever offered, and their songwriting has gotten even more dynamic compared to Meta, which really upped the ante from the first two albums.

This isn't too bad.

Album Rating: 4.0

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Car Bomb. The musicality is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of multivariable calculus and musical theory (which obviously isn’t present in your case), most of the intricate patterns and rhythms will go over a typical listeners head. There is also the absolutely inhuman technicality found all over this record. The instrumentation is so pristine and chaotic that only the most sophisticated listeners will be able to understand and appreciate the nuances buried deep within the music. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these songs, to realize that they're not just headache-inducing songs - they say something deep about SCIENCE. As a consequence, people who dislike Car Bomb truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the electronic/sci-fi laser blasts in Dissect Yourself, "pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew," which itself is a cryptic reference and foreshadow to the legendary raid of Area 51 (may the Naruto Runner rest in peace. A moment of silence for our fallen comrade………….) I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Car Bomb’s genius unfolds itself on their AirPodsTM. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Car Bomb tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

Album Rating: 1.0

lel

"did the melon say something bad about this album? usually an album's avg doesn't tank this much unless that happens"

Sometimes I shake my head at this, but then sometimes I actually believe it lol. Stupid ass lemmings

Whomst the fuck is melon

Anthony Fantano

Why

Album Rating: 4.0

Why is Anthony Fantano?

Why is he called the melon now, cuz he’s bald?

Or is it because the only thing hes good for is inserting up your ass

Follow up question...

Are there actually people (with a brain) that have ever listened to an anthony fantano review?

Album Rating: 4.0

It's because he just got implants.

Album Rating: 1.5

To be fair



The IQ gotta be high to Enjoy car bomb

I enjoy his reviews and his other content but I don’t take him that seriously.

I think melon was a meme his fans came up with and he just rolled with it

Album Rating: 4.0

literally that’s it

Sometimes the most complex questions have the simplest answers

Why did the chicken cross the road then