Album Rating: 5.0

if you need a song to have one single tangible lyrical theme spoonfed to you and can’t appreciate or understand abstract imagery in any form I could see the lyrics on this being overwhelming

To be fair, there's a Pitchfork article out there written by someone who loved the song but had a really weird interpretation of it that I think somewhat misses the point, too.

Part of this certainly hinges on whether you know Bob Dylan's 'Boots of Spanish Leather'. XD

I think if you know the song, the metaphors click into place quite neatly.

Album Rating: 5.0

this is a melodious and rhythmically concise album full of earnestly but creatively expressed ideas that prioritizes feeling over literal meaning. for that first reason it is everything johnny is not, for the second it’s exactly like him but he won’t admit it because I made him mad on ramon’s thread by saying he can’t handle raw vocals so he told me to kill myself twice and then did all this

Album Rating: 5.0

sometimes the meaning comes from the music itself as much as the lyrics. the energy and detail of the guitar on King Of Spain says so much before the vocals even start. the man has melodies embedded within melodies throughout the entire album

Johnny. That's mean saying Colton needs to kill himself... twice...

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

And I will settle in Pamplona

And I'll provoke the bulls with words

And then I'll send a man to meet them all

The blood is fake, so I have heard



And I'll go to Barcelona

And I'll apply polish to Gaudi's walls

Then I'll charter a small tinted window bus

They don't shine when night falls

Album Rating: 5.0

he hits the cleanest harmonic of all time in the intro of King Of Spain too. nobody can name a cleaner harmonic than that

Fogza? Don't quit the day job. XD

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Maybe I'll paint my masterpiece

Wearing goya's candled hat

and in the jingle jangle morning

Perhaps I'll get some tapas

Okay, quit the day job actually. That's brilliant.

With Verse 2, it's not about things people do or don't do in Spain. It's inventing an illusion and having that illusion shattered or revealed to be an illusion of his making.

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

joe, i get what you're saying, i just think the writing sounds dumb, that's the fundamental difference. it doesn't intrigue me or make me want to research it. it's a fail out of the gates.

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

colton, maybe you could code a random king of spain lyrics generator? would be pretty funny.

I know, which is kind of my point of picking out cliches for the sake of cliches is whatever to me. It's not getting to the heart of the matter. It's just tedious criticism on the level of Cinemasins in my opinion. It's not like some of these things aren't actually reasonable. Being a visitor of Spain almost my whole life, siestas aren't actually a cliche. It's part of the culture and it fundamentally doesn't really matter to the songs idea.

Album Rating: 5.0

I’m working on a johnny comment generator which is much easier

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

believe it or not joe, despite not getting his annoyance at the dylan comparison, i am aware that siestas exist 🤣

Evidently not as you seem to be under this impression that this album invented them! XD

I'm kidding, obviously.

But yeah, I just don't have much a problem with the idea because let's be real, it would be great if every country adopted siesta culture. But yeah, not really what the song is about and so on...

Album Rating: 5.0

johnny comment generator is coming along nicely you guys are gonna love it

Album Rating: 4.0

So I listened to this for the first time in years during my plane ride, and I’m finally going to rescind my 5. Still holds up very well imo, but I’m starting to understand why people consider it so overwrought. I think Kristian’s vocals got way better over time, but he sounded pretty damn rough here

Album Rating: 3.0

This aged like a fine red wine vinegar left open on the table for over a decade

Album Rating: 4.0

You know what? Fuck it, I’m reducing it to a 4. I was honestly pretty disappointed when I revisited this, especially considering how much I used to adore it