Album Rating: 4.5

Yeah I’m finally coming around to thinking that. Lesson learned. But man, that first couple of weeks I don’t think my fucking self esteem has ever been worse.



Related to the album, I can’t even really listen to this anymore. We listened to it so much together, metal dream came up on shuffle and I legit felt sick. So hopefully I can come back around on most of these songs.



Fucking life man I swear to god, can’t even sit back and enjoy the shit I like

Album Rating: 3.3

Ily Wildcard brother! Everything will be okay, it will get better.

Album Rating: 2.5

My medicine to life being bullshit is always to jam metal. There literally isn't any better medicine

Album Rating: 4.5

thanks guys, really.



life goes on

Album Rating: 5.0

I was introduced to Deftones by a girl I dated briefly in college. They were (probably still are) her favorite band so we'd smoke and listen to a lot of Deftones. It was a short-lived relationship but if it wasn't for her I would have never bothered with the band. In the early parts I always would be reminded of her but eventually that wore off and I just became a late fan of the band. There's tons of songs related to old flames that I took a break from but eventually rediscovered and continue to enjoy without the shadow of those memories.

Album Rating: 4.5

"and I fell for a girl with BPD"



oh god dude I am so sorry

Album Rating: 4.0

this chick with bpd from texas sucked me into oblivion, unreal bj. got out unscathed too.

Album Rating: 4.5

well I was reading up about it and she assured me that she was properly medicated so I didn’t really think anything of it… imagine my surprise.



Ya waking up to a “I can’t do this anymore” text isn’t too much fun. After a fucking year man. Havent seen her since, and at this point I guess that’s probably for the best.

Album Rating: 4.0

I had a broad break up with me from another state 3 years in. She ended up getting married to the literal cuck she cheated on before me. I just read a lot of Brit literature and Frankfurt school bullshit. I also banged my fair share of La 5s on tinder. Got me right quick.

Album Rating: 4.0

Although I’m not sure if repeated watches of avatar and one battle after another and bagging Missouri 5s will have the same impact, but I digress

Album Rating: 4.5

Like, even one of my best friends tried to warn me, but at that point we’d been together for like 9 months and things were going great, or so I thought.



Idk man. I already have trouble trusting people and I feel like this makes it so much worse. I told her things I’d never told anyone, not even therapists or psychiatrists. I just want to crawl into a hole and be left alone for a month or two at this point. That wound is still very fresh.

Album Rating: 4.5

Missouri 5’s are certainly not LA 5’s lol

Album Rating: 4.0

Read the rainbow by Dh Lawrence during your hermit phase

Album Rating: 4.5

But I’m past that in my life. Pussy is pussy, I thought we had something real. I don’t really go out just to fuck at my age.

Album Rating: 4.5

Alice In Chains has been good to me lately. Especially their newer albums. Private Hell, Choke, and Maybe are relatable af rn

Album Rating: 4.0

Time to become obsessed with everything you ever wanted to know about silence brother

Album Rating: 4.5

Ya I’ll just bury my head in the sand and watch a bunch of movies and play video games and shit, still gotta finish the sopranos… we were watching it together so it feels kinda hard but my dumb brain can’t just not finish a rewatch

Album Rating: 4.0

Watch the 2006 film the fall a few times

Album Rating: 4.5

looks… colorful. I’ll add it to the list. My MCU obsessed friend is beginning me to watch a few of the new ones, thankfully he has the common sense to recommend the least shitty ones, the ones that are only necessary to understand the new Avengers. But I got like a year to knock those five out so I’m not pressed