Album Rating: 3.3 | Sound Off
Another year, another overblown metal album that is criminally overrated by the Internet music community. And with the very first sentence we establish that you believe your opinion to be more significant than it really is.
It's a tradition that's been established by albums like Between the Buried and Me's Colors and Protest the Hero's Fortress. With Portal of I, Australian metal band Ne Obliviscaris merely rekindles the passing torch of "progressive" metal mediocrity. The songs extend to unjustifiable lengths, there are superfluous additions to the music, and memorability is often exchanged for technicality of composition. Hot on the heels of your initial statement, you then establish why it is you shouldn't even be reviewing this album since you don't even like the style or any of the main elements associated with it. "Unjustifiable Lengths" and "superfluous additions" -- How so? Do you back this up later in the review...
the first five minutes consist of a flowing, pleasant ensemble of instruments That's one of the most vague descriptions I've ever read. You might as well have just said the first five minutes were 'good' and been done with it. It would have looked better than what you went with.
but the djent riffing utterly demolishes any momentum the song had going. On the other hand, misplaced quiet sections are commonplace in Portal of I. Djent??? In the most liberal interpretation of the word; maybe. Also -- 'on the other hand' is supposed to be a transitional statement where you go from one related topic to its opposite (basically). What do 'misplaced quiet sections' have to do with Djent on one song? Also, why are they misplaced? Where were they supposed to go?
Loud and multi-layered instrumentation quickly cut to quiet acoustic sections, with no proper attention given to fluid transitions. Oh, they're misplaced because you want transitions to be as easy to get into as a drunken prom date. Again, you've proven why you shouldn't have even touched this album to begin with.
Another pivotal flaw is the addition of additions to the music. Ha ha. I know you wanted this sentence changed... but, no.
The violin rarely fits in, as it is overused in heavy sections. The first part of this sentence has nothing to do with the second part. They're two totally different thoughts.
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Album Rating: 3.3 | Sound Off
Its beauteous and gentle timbre contrasts too greatly with the aggressive, distorted power of the electric guitars. Okay, so you don't like jarring transitions and contrasting sounds are a no-no, too.
However, the violin is used correctly in some situations. Correctly? Again proving how far up your own ass you'll go to kiss it.
it's somber but melodic tone enhances the introductory 6 minutes, First, there's the issue with it's, but beyond that why is it 'somber but melodic'. Why are they mutually exclusive? Why wouldn't it just be "its somber melodic tone"?
Perhaps more frustrating though, are the overused clean vocals. They are far too melodic Overused because they create a contrast... knowing your desire for easily consumable music, I saw that one coming.
Perhaps the greatest problem with this album is that almost none of it is memorable Anything is memorable with enough listens. Perhaps you need to see an educational therapist and get that looked into. Also, maybe it's not memorable the first few listens, but unless it is working within a verse/chorus format, it's kind of a lame complaint.
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Album Rating: 3.5
Another year, another overblown metal album that is criminally overrated by the Internet music community.
And with the very first sentence we establish that you believe your opinion to be more significant than it really is.
This is Sputnik Willie, where everyone's opinion is immutable fact...you shouldn't be surprised.
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Pretty sure you just drowned the bastard with that humongous can of whoop-ass you've just opened Willie
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review is bad, rating is correct
"Another year, another overblown metal album that is criminally overrated by the Internet music community."
This says it all.
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1.5 is subjective, you gotta give them 2.5 for trying and because you're not ready to be hated by the internet internet yet
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Album Rating: 4.5
haahahah gotta love willie's critique
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Album Rating: 3.0
Review kind of sucks, you had some good ideas going but unless I already heard this and read the other reviews I would have no idea what you were talking about
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Album Rating: 2.5
You have some great criticism there Willie, and looking back at it now I see the flaws of the review. I'm not going to act all butthurt or whatever, I could have written it way better (that will hopefully improve with time)
Keep in mind that this was my 2nd review. It's going to have flaws and whatnot
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Album Rating: 4.5
You're definitely not a bad writer, this review is pretty silly though.
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Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off
This album is one of the best albums of all time. Look, it actually surpasses anema, lift your skinny fists like antenna....., agateis byjrun, marrow of the sprit / mantle, ok computer / kid a, deloused in the comatorium / France's the mute, in the court of crimson king / red / starless and bible black, colours, still life, blackwater park etc. it beats them all because it fully realizes its vision of inducing skull crushing heaviness (xenoflux, parts of plague flowers), with tear jerking spine tingling memorable melodies (tapestry, forget not, icicles fall) and fist pumping mountain gazing levels of majestic grandeur (tapestry, forget not, plague, black noise) And nearly ALL instrumentation is absolute flawless (the leads could be better I reckon). But that's it, it's incredible. In terms of composition this is a definite 10/10. This is NOT a technical album however, for guitarists. That's more for animals as leaders.
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Album Rating: 1.0
haha sweet
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Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off
Don't think this album deserves a 2.5. Dude wots the rationale? Why not a 2? Or a 2.6?
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Album Rating: 1.0
agreed brother fuck these jokers
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Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off
If he gave a subjective comment such as "I find the tonal qualities of the vocals extremely bad" then rated portal of I a bad score, that's ok. But I don't think he is being subjective. Me being very subjective, actually I want to add that I find the cleans to be among the very best of the metal community. To me the timbre of his voice is very appealing.
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Album Rating: 1.0
i agree with your valid points i think if you expanded on them you would write the best review this site has ever seen, do not back down brother
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Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off
And being "metal" objectively - this album is not in any way technical! there's so many tech death bands that are way more complex and technical it's not funny. Of course, portal of I touches people's hearts man, with it's compositions. And most tech death bands fail to do that, even with singalong choruses. Hell, most pop bands fail to invoke any feeling.
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Album Rating: 1.0
preach it sister
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"portal of I touches people's hearts man"
lol
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Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off
Some dude should just write an objective review based on a proven track record of history of understanding progressive metal and rating this album in a "progressive black metal" framework / context. What establishes the framework? Some progressive metal gurus should decide. Nonetheless I subjectively gave this thing a 5. Coz I basically get tears listening to this thing, and honestly, I actually don't think I can find an album better than this.
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