Album Rating: 5.0

Well, good news!

Monkeys are the most intellectually advanced animals don't you know

Album Rating: 5.0

My implication was that humans are monkeys



you know like Right In Two

Album Rating: 5.0

I know you looooove mymonkeeey

so you gonna watch me spanking mymonkeeeey

cause you Monkeyluva Monkeyluva

Album Rating: 4.0

"Tales told of battles won, of things we've done. Caligula would grin" is the dumbest lyric of all time across any genre...



...god I love this band

Album Rating: 3.5

i personally think that "calm as cookies and cream so it seems we're not buying your dubious state of serenity" is worse.

Album Rating: 4.0

100%. 7empest is on a whole new level of cringe. I don't even consider it a real Tool song to be honest. I've no idea why non-Tool fans enjoy that one, it says a lot about their bad taste in music I guess.



Anyways, the ethereal ability to turn Maynard's horrendous nonsense into high art with each album is the ultimate proof Tool are not human.

Album Rating: 3.5

Dude I know. It's a legitimately boring song. Tool is my favourite band but I have no fucking idea why people like tempest so much. Cringe lyrics, the guitar solo goes nowhere and it is 3 minutes too long. I don't mind long songs but they have to develop and have a reason to be long. Tempest is just a collection of unlinked ideas and it does nothing for me.

Now there's a thread I haven't seen in a while! It used to be so cosy in here!

Album Rating: 4.0

Trif, every time I see you in this thread, your rating has dropped lol.

Hihi ooooops.

It took a while to try and find the right rating for this. I'm still not entirely sure, but I've always had this problem with Tool. Such a strong like/dislike (not passionate enough for love/hate!) relationship with them.

Album Rating: 3.5

tbh I'm commenting just to see what's my rating on this....



Edit: I'm okay with 3.5

I'm probably at a 3.2 now. At any rate not below a 3.0. I enjoyed parts of this.

Album Rating: 2.5

a few songs i really like on here and few i really don't like. I don't really feel a desire to return to this but i guess it's fine

That sounds a lot like a 3.0 to me, and I wholly agree with this sentiment Pangea!

Album Rating: 4.0

It's decent, good enough music, just slightly above the average, the very definition of a 3 stars record. Yeah, pretty much any musician can make an album of this caliber if you think about it. In fact, all local bands from my town are currently putting out stuff that is considerably better than this.

The thing that disappointed ME personally is that I expected more of Tool's drummer. WTF is this performance. Weak. Don't even get me started on their guitarist and bassist who are both slugs creativity-wise. Brb gimme 5 days, I'm gonna record a better album lol. The bets are on.

Album Rating: 3.5

For sure. I really enjoyed the hell out of this when it came out, but I’m starting to enjoy it less and less these days... especially when compared to the band’s earlier stuff

"It's decent, good enough music, just slightly above the average, the very definition of a 3 stars record. Yeah, pretty much any musician can make an album of this caliber if you think about it. In fact, all local bands from my town are currently putting out stuff that is considerably better than this.
The thing that disappointed ME personally is that I expected more of Tool's drummer. WTF is this performance. Weak. Don't even get me started on their guitarist and bassist who are both slugs creativity-wise. Brb gimme 5 days, I'm gonna record a better album lol. The bets are on."


That sounds like a strong case of "it's super complex/difficult to play/long and big and huge/nobody can play this - so it must be good".

Album Rating: 4.0

I fully agree, complexity is all about notes. There's no such thing as artistic vision, songwriting, style, texture, vibe, substance, emotion, etc.



That's why any IDM producer is just as good as Autechre. That's why any band who can hit the drums and guitar fast and in weird rhythms is as good as Tool.



100% non-sarcastic response btw, I get where you're coming from, I'm a robot just like you afterall.

💯