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I mean at this point I'm like 2 1/2 years in so it's probably too late for me. I'm so wrapped up in work, studies, and research that I'm only free on the weekends pretty much. I guess my problem has always been that I'm great at getting on friendly terms with people but horrible at progressing beyond that. So I walk around campus waving hi to 15 different people a day but on a Friday night I'm sitting on my bed, browsing Sputnik and what not. I'm not sure about going to stuff like campus dances alone (I'm making excuses but I just can't imagine doing that) but I should probably try to be more active in a social club I joined and go to more events. I just go to one or two a quarter lol.



How many of your college friends are you still in contact with? Because like I think the ship has sailed on the "Make college the best years of your life" but like I wonder if I'll regret not really making lifelong friends in college. Although I guess I have my high school friends whom I'm still really good friends with so how bad can it be?

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It's different for everyone, obviously. Do whatever makes you happy. I'm just projecting my own

experience, because in high school I only had like 3 close friends and we'd do everything together. Through

college, we lost touch completely. But by coming out of my shell over those 4 years, I ended up with over

20 people I could legitimately call friends. Of course, 5 years out of college now, I am only in contact

with maybe 3-4 of them, 1 of which I'm marrying this summer.



But it's never too late, it's not like you'll lose your HS friends by going out and having fun. Studies

take precedence but I always found if I went out, loosened up, and partied once a week, it would actually

help me. Plus I was single throughout college with the exception of 2 semesters, so I was always chasing a

good time with females in the vicinity.

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I mean yeah, I didn't mean to imply that I'm not hanging out with people in college b/c I have high school friends. That would be stupid. I just mean I don't feel so bad since it's not like I'll be 30 with no friends (at least I fucking hope not).



But I dunno, I agree with you to an extent about being more social (I mean obviously) so I appreciate the input. I'm not quite sure your exact methods work for me since idk I tend to be a little bit odd for a college-aged American male and parties aren't ideal social outings for me. But it's always good to hear people telling you to be more social. At the very least I can go to more drinking events now that I'm legal and get to know people that way.

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Yeah as long as you're enjoying life that's all that matters! I just felt like reminiscing more than anything else, really.

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just my quick input: this might sound obvious but those people who you see as friends but not really close-friends, think of them as potential dates (??) if you want. so basically, if there are some people you like quite a bit, just hit them up one day and say "hey i've been meaning to go see this movie/show/play and i was wondering if you'd be interested in coming along" or like, if you haven't seen them in a while, just ask them out for lunch/coffee



it might seem small but your relationships will develop a lot more once you're outside of a school environment. i am still friends from someone who was in my class in first year but we've not taken any classes this year due to different disciplines, but like, we still hang out once in a while (and i'll actually be going with him to a Broods concert too!) (ps: we were also going to go to anberlin's last show in Toronto but then that show got cancelled fml)



but yeah, i'd say you're in a pretty good position by being familiar with some people already (because there are others who really don't have that opportunity), so do something out of it!

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Hi, toxin. Haven't seen you around these parts in a while.

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haha thanks for the advice guys. never thought i'd see the day where i'd need advice making friends, i used to be magnetic in that regard



hi ecnal! how've you been? and yeah i've been a little busy and forgetting to show up on the forums a lot. glad to see you're still here!

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"I'm great at getting on friendly terms with people but horrible at progressing beyond that."



Totally understand where you're coming from here and I can relate to this. That's basically how I am. It took me quite a while to develop a relationship with my best friends, but it paid off cause now I have people I can call brothers and even sisters. Everyone is different and what I am about to say is easier said than done, but don't get discouraged. Not everyone can just all of the sudden click with people. Hell, I had like two friends growing up and that's it. I made most of my friends senior year of high school. My point is, give it time and don't give up when you find that after a couple of weeks, or even months, you feel that you haven't connected yet. Again, easier said than done, but that's my input haha

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Bout the same for me, actually. I probably only post a few times or so a week anymore.

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I'm great at getting on friendly terms with people but horrible at progressing beyond that.

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@Mongi, Yeah I mean for me it's not like I don't have good friends, I just haven't made any at college. Especially since I'm not much of a partier, dancer, or drinker (despite my occasional drunken escapades), which make up a hefty percentage of college hangouts.



@Cyg IME it's just a matter of finding people who you click with and also being fortunate enough to spend enough time together (shared experience is really important). It's the latter part that's harder in college for me, but I think that's opposite to most people (based on how popular the 'high school sucks' sentiment is). Not sure if you're finishing up high school or started college though, since you were only a couple years younger htan me?



@Ecnal, well I'm glad to see you're still here! Lots of familiar names on this thread, makes me a bit happy :')

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You, too, bud!



We can always rely on one of the Anberlin threads to bring us all back together.

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Complaints of violins aren't your only friend, guys

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heh let's keep this thread active 4ever

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Foreverberlin

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we'll live forever, forever, foreverrrr

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I love this album.

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i'm glad that this album is liked - although i felt it was not as good as Vital, it was still a strong album overall with some of their best songs (atonement, stranger ways, harbinger)



i don't listen to them nearly as much as i used to though =/



i've just been on such a hip-hop/rnb kick that i need to be in a really specific mood to listen to anberlin



still my favourite band 4ever

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this album kind of grew off of me. i don't listen to it that much :/

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Devotion is their best album by far.