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Album Rating: 4.5
Baseline how is Dev in bed 5/5 material?
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Damn so I guess he is not so adventurous in bed?
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Well if you are looking for someone dark and kinky you know where to find me ;)))
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Dev's going to hate me for this, but I decided to review his review for fuck of it. Kind of pains me, 'cause Dev's really good at writing. But my reservoir of "fucks" I possess for that sentiment are depleted atm.
To start with, Dev, the first two paragraphs consisted of you gloating your e-boner for this guy. I imagine most people read reviews to understand the album more, though more often to obtain a gist of what such and such album has in store. Instead, you detailed a shit load of poetically expressed adoration for the guy. The first two paragraphs really had nothing to do with this album.
The rest of the review comprised of this poetic style, which almost made the small, SMALL amounts of estrogen within me ('cause I'm a fucking grizzly man) vibrate with excitement.
And alas, the arrival of semantics, and your awkwardness throughout this review with them. But really, I'm just nitpicking here.
1. "His experience with rave and jungle music a communion between younger and older brother, the dialogue the crackle and hiss of vinyl spinning late into the night."
The fuck are you trying to say here? This isn't even a sentence. Just a jumble of words. Either that, or you really fucked up in punctuating this.
2. "The footsteps of no one in particular, instead merely those of inspiration, following the echoes in the deep dead of night - a frenzied pursuit amongst the shadows and one that Bevan will probably attest to not having any clear end in sight."
You used a hyphen in place of an em-dash. And this is a confounding decision on your part, because your usage of em-dashes throughout the rest of this review was flawless.
3. "Kindred however is a much more sinister entity, a turn into unfamiliar territory, where the shadows fall in the absence of a much different light.""
You mean, "Kindred however, is a..." Ever hear of independent clauses? This sentence would work better if you had began with "however," though.
4. "Even ‘Loner’, perhaps the most straightforward of tracks present"
Most straightforward of THE tracks present. Simply saying "tracks" is too vague. I mean, obviously I know what you're talking about, but if you don't want Dickens to roll over in his grave laughing, you gotta sharpen dat grammar, boy!
That said, Dev, your review is a perfect example of purple prose. You were just way too ornate in this. Beautiful writing, though. Perhaps you can write the Divine Comedy 2.0.
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Ferris Bueller ain't got shit on me
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Hey, you.
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Oh wait this is going to be awesome. Lemme finish my smoke and then I'll that rip that shit to shreds
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Dev, do you masturbate to Sylvia Plath's mega prose?
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Did you know you possess the same style of writing as that pedophile, Vladimir Nabokov?
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
To start with, Dev, the first two paragraphs consisted of you gloating your e-boner for this guy.
Yes I can see how talking about an artist would make someone jump to that conclusion. Oh wait....
I imagine most people read reviews to understand the album more, though more often to obtain a gist of what such and such album has in store. Instead, you detailed a shit load of poetically expressed adoration for the guy. The first two paragraphs really had nothing to do with this album.
Yes, because in talking about the intentions of Burial's music, in fact his musical identity and why he makes music and how it sounds like it sounds, I clearly have failed to talk about what the album is actually about. Oh wait.... [2]
The fuck are you trying to say here? This isn't even a sentence. Just a jumble of words. Either that, or you really fucked up in punctuating here.
Are you simply incapable of reading here? And yes it is a sentence, there are words that form a coherent statement and everything is neatly tied together by a coincidental period at the end. There's also no issue with punctuation either. I simply imply that the dialogue between the two brothers is unspoken, instead communicated through the music. There's no comma separating "the dialogue" and "the crackle..." because they're one and the same. Learn to read
You used a hyphen in place of an em-dash. And this is a confounding decision on your part, because your usage of em-dashes throughout the rest of this review was flawless.
And yet it is used correctly, how confounding! But by all means, feel free to point out its improper usage
You mean, "Kindred however, is a..." Ever hear of independent clauses?
No I don't, and have you? I'm directly tying it into the previous statement by contrasting it, there's no need for a pause until after I finished defining that dichotomy. Oh wait, is that what I did? Confounding!
This sentence would work better if you had began with "however," though.
No it wouldn't for the reasons stated above
Simply saying "tracks" is too vague.
Yes, when talking about a musical release highlighting the content as "tracks" is vague.....
I mean, obviously I know what you're talking about, but if you don't want Dickens to roll over in his grave laughing, you gotta sharpen dat grammar, boy!
You don't get out much do you?
Thanks for reading though!
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Deviant - 1
Shitty Nobody User - 0
| | | Album Rating: 4.0
If Dev was mod, this site would have about 6 users left.
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
Also:
Simply saying "tracks" is too vague.
It's like not even adding them to an album
| | | Album Rating: 4.5
No it would be a circlejerk of Dev, Baseline, and Jash.
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1st part -
"Yes I can see how talking about an artist would make someone jump to that conclusion. Oh wait...."
Look at it this way: If I'm reviewing a specific product by a manufacturer, and I spend half my review talking about the manufacturer and not the product, there's a problem. As I assumedly pointed out: Most people don't seek reviews to learn about the artist. That's what the band's page is for — Wikipedia, last.fm, ect... They seek reviews for an album's context and perspective given by someone they trust/revere. Writing a short exposition on the album's history and the artist's intention for writing music isn't necessarily bad, but to the degree you did it, it came out overwrought.
"Yes, because in talking about the intentions of Burial's music, in fact his musical identity and why he makes music and how it sounds like it sounds, I clearly have failed to talk about what the album is actually about. Oh wait.... [2]"
As I just mentioned, you were excessive in it. Not only that, but placing that kind of information in the beginning, rather than the end, makes you come across as someone who often digresses. If I was reading reviews for an album on another site, and the first half of the review comprised of the artist and only the artist, I'd be pretty disconcerted. Maybe that's just me, though.
"Are you simply incapable of reading here? And yes it is a sentence, there are words that form a coherent statement and everything is neatly tied together by a coincidental period at the end. There's also no issue with punctuation either. I simply imply that the dialogue between the two brothers is unspoken, instead communicated through the music. There's no comma separating "the dialogue" and 'the crackle...' because they're one and the same. Learn to read"
I find it funny how you use a double-quotation here to reference pieces in your review, and yet, in your actual review, you used single-styled quotations.
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2nd part -
But back to the point... You know, I'm not even going to get into the second clause. Reread this, "His experience with rave and jungle music a communion between younger and older brother..."
You know, I'm not incapable of reading, Dev. All jokes aside, if you've read anything I've written (I'm speaking rhetorically here) you would know I don't possess the same banal grammar most of the internet does, and thus have a fairly good grasp on English. That sentence you wrote is perhaps the only real, direct flaw in your entire review (as I've mentioned, everything else is just me nitpicking). That sentence doesn't, nay, that phrase; it doesn't make any sense. Maybe to you, and maybe there's some British style associated with that sentence I'm not picking up (you're using British styled grammar, so I think I'm right to assume you're either located in Europe or Australia), but I see absolutely no coherency there. If you were to separate "music" and "a" with an em-dash, and then separate "brother" and "the" with another em-dash, the sentence would make sense, but you didn't.
"And yet it is used correctly, how confounding! But by all means, feel free to point out its improper usage"
You separated two independent clauses with a hyphen. That's your flaw.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/598/01/
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/04/
These explain your error. They don't go into detail on the usage of em-dashes and hyphens, but if you actually read those, you'll notice where you fucked up.
"No I don't, and have you? I'm directly tying it into the previous statement by contrasting it, there's no need for a pause until after I finished defining that dichotomy. Oh wait, is that what I did? Confounding!"
It doesn't matter if you're tying it into the other sentence. You didn't use a semi-colon, so it's not a part of it. It's an actual sentence that's autonomous from the other in its punctuation requirements. Refer to the 2nd link I just gave.
"Yes, when talking about a musical release highlighting the content as "tracks" is vague....."
Well, heh, as I mentioned, I knew what you were talking about, and anyone with the literacy of a 4 year old would, too. That said, you can make plenty of English mistakes and still be understood fine. Semantics aren't required for proper phonological understanding, but if you want your grammar to be the best it can, you're going to have follow all the rules of English.
Anyways, Dev, your review is great. I'm just being a prick 'cause you called me "stupid," and that really hurt my feelings :[
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Sorry, had to split it. Comment was too long for one post.
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You impressed?
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No, don't answer that. I'm going to suspend all disbelief and assume you are.
| | | Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off
Please don't associate Dev with Australia.
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