Album Rating: 5.0

Except I would hope that no one on staff would actually write a review like this

Album Rating: 5.0

That's not pretentious at all.

Album Rating: 4.5

"This abstractness is reflected in the abstract layers of fuzz and noise into which everything determinate is dissolved. Individual notes are either lost in the drone of an open D or are absurdly accentuated. The time signature changes throughout “Concubine” and “Fault and Fracture” are cynically calculated to convey desperation or anger. To this, Bannon’s empty screams parody themselves, the ghosts of their own auto-affection. They simultaneously mask and lay bare “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” (Shakespeare)."



Translation: The ambiguous lyrics can be seen in the ambiguous sound of the band. The band either blends all notes into a single sound or they make them stick out like a sore thumb. The time signature changes are believed to convey desperation or anger. Bannon's screams parody themselves against this background, because it makes them sound artificial. They hide and expose (I know, speaking in paradoxes is a lot of fun isn't it?) noise?



In other words, this review is better explained by the Shakespeare quote than anything else.

Album Rating: 5.0

your review could use some refining and a broader focus, but i'll say this much: if the staff members had half of your analytical ability, their reviews might actually be half as interesting as this one.

nice review, i havent made up my mind about the album yet though, the instrumentals are good, but the vocals arent great, sub-par.

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

were shadowsfallen's reviews THAT overly pretentious? I've read a few, and they don't seem too terribly bad, but that just may be me.

Album Rating: 2.0

I think you should all read my reviews...

Album Rating: 4.5

You can't get more pretentious than:



"The capacity of human intelligence seems to limit the capabilities to expand upon any possible creative aptitudes. Indeed, if one cannot even notice the facets that the ingenuities around him are comprised of, how can he be expected to fashion a beast of his own? This inveterate sense of constraint is a great blow to the veracity of mankind’s abilities. It restrains us and holds our minds to the ground below, averting any possibility of rising above ourselves to something greater; something not fathomed by the conventional mind. This concept of seeking to go beyond one’s self, known as “transcendence”, is essentially a gateway to unlocking pieces of ourselves that can lead to some of the most elaborate and significant creations of our world. For many, this quest to transcend and form creations that were once considered unthinkable and overwhelming consumes life. Certainly it is rare to find such people, but when they are found, creative barriers are destroyed."

Album Rating: 2.0

please enough of this silly fighting...just go read my Sigur Ros review and it'll be all better

Album Rating: 5.0

crazy review man. don't agree with ya but its definately a strong case

I suspect the reviewer is from ANUS.

Album Rating: 4.5

People like you keep Converge at 4.3 : (

Album Rating: 4.5

Go back to ANUS.

Album Rating: 4.0

Band is not that great.

Album Rating: 5.0

I don't really know if you can call Shadows pretentious just based on those two reviews. I mean, he likes Cradle of Filth, Children of Bodom, and Shadows Fall A LOT.

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

There's nothing wrong with Cradle or Bodom though

Album Rating: 5.0

I never said there was. I like both of those bands but they hardly seem pretentious to me.

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

I mean just because his music tastes are run of the mill doesn't mean his style of writing can't still be pretentious.

Album Rating: 5.0

I mean just because his music tastes are run of the mill doesn't mean his style of writing can't still be pretentious.

Album Rating: 4.5

But in its very superficiality, Jane Doe simulates profundity. The illusion that results is, in fact, so perfect as to disguise its origin even from itself, lost in the night of its own paramnesia. Jacob Bannon might be the one singing on the record, but make no mistake: the words are not his own. In truthth, they are words written by no one. Words that are the product a thoroughly impersonal dynamic, generated by a mindless web of relations that inscribes itself into the consciousness of a human vessel – a human vessel which for it is nothing more than a mouthpiece, a means for expression.



Have no idea what this means, enlighten me.